Wrestling has had its share of great characters. Ric Flair: with his classic swinger style. Hulk Hogan: the patriotic hero. Andre the Giant: a timeless mythological icon. When the writers of these characters have been good..they have been very good.
Then there is the other side.
There have been characters unleashed on an unsuspecting public that have both mystified and left us scratching our heads asking "WHY?".
Enter if you dare into the realm of bad costumes, thin story lines and horribly conceived characters.
To be perfectly honest, I kind of liked this character.
I mean, yes, he did sort of resemble a cross breed of Uncle Fester and any of the actors from Dark City but, there was something kind of sinister there.
WCW may have been looking for an answer to the Undertaker in Seven but we will never know. Because of problems with this character's promo videos (looking into a child's bedroom at night) and a lack of interest by Dustin Rhodes to portray yet another painted freak (a la Goldust), the character was quickly scrapped in a supposed "shoot interview."
I think that there could have been some interesting story lines with Seven but because of his quick entrance and exit, he has to be considered a failure.
Really, you could put most of Hulk Hogan's WCW Dungeon of Doom opponents here (Zodiac, The Shark etc.)
Thawed from a block of ice, The Yeti was especially bad for his one real moment in the sun; the attempted ......whatever it was that he was doing to Hulk Hogan. Eventually, cooler heads prevailed and he became a ninja.
Eventually, Ron Reis (the Yeti's real name) found a place in Raven's Flock with a less embarrassing character named Reese but we will always remember him for his Hogan sandwich.
Long before John Cena was waving a hand in front of his face and spouting off rhymes, there was the monstrosity known as P.N News.
In an effort to capitalize on the popularity of the rap culture—you heard me correctly—the writers at WCW, in the wee hours of the morning, put on their thinking caps and said "What would it look like if we mixed Vanilla Ice with The Fat Boys?" P.N News was the result.
On his meteoric rise and rapid fall, P.N News did manage to procure a couple of titles, set rap back 10 years and end the career of wrestler Dave Sheldon. Yo Baby, Yo Baby, Yo!
Since we only have 10 spots, we can just cut out all of the "everyman characters" that have been produced by the creative writers of WWF (now WWE)
Everyman characters are wrestlers with everyday jobs who moonlight as professional wrestlers. Among the most notorious are: Duke "The Dumpster" Drose (garbage man), T.L.Hopper (plumber), Repo Man (the name says it all), The Godwins (pig farmers) and The Coach.
There were many more but I think too much space has already been wasted on them, so let's move on.
This short-lived character from the WWF was brought about by the desire to change to a more adult-themed show and (more than any other reason) not knowing what to do with Charles Warrington ( Mosh from the Headbangers) after his tag team partner went down with a knee injury.
The over-the-top sexual references with his on-screen "mother" Mrs. Cleavage (bodybuilder Marianna Komlos) were more creepy than funny. The character, much like every other abomination, was scrapped during a "worked, shoot interview"
The Berzerker was a Viking wrestler whose method of winning matches was to throw his opponents out of the ring by getting a count out victory, while holding his wrist, licking his hand, and intentionally falling flat on his back.
He feuded with Jimmy Snuka, Davey Boy Smith, and The Undertaker. His war cry of "HUSS! HUSS!" still unnerves me like nails on a chalkboard....speaking of which.
We have all played Cops and Robbers, but in 1992 WWF brought in Kevin Wacholz to play the disgruntled "hardened ex-con" Nailz who, as the story goes, was brutally beaten at the hands of the Big Boss Man during his incarceration.
The feud dragged on for a bit, culminating with Boss Man defeating Nailz in a "Nightstick Match." Nailz was set to feud with The Undertaker, but was fired after an altercation with Vince McMahon.
As the story goes, while John Nord "The Berzerker" (see how these two stories tied in) watched the door, an argument ensued between Wacholz and McMahon which ended in the later being "choked violently."
The character was repackaged in WCW as The Convict but again failed to really catch on.
"Playboy" Buddy Rose played a comic relief to the fit and defined bodybuilder types that were common in the late 80's and early 90's.
Rose played the character of a narcissistic overweight wrestling (think of a fat Rick Rude or Ric Flair) villain as well as could be expected. The earlier character was actually quite successful but later (as you can see in the video above) it just became lame.
Rose was actually a very accomplished wrestler who could do kip ups and one armed push ups in the ring and was highly regarded as a masterful mic technician. Later in life, Rose struggled with obesity and diabetes.
Sadly, Buddy Rose passed away in 2009 from natural causes.
This may be the most unintentionally hilarious moment in wrestling history.
Brought in by Sting, Dustin Rhodes and Davey Boy Smith to be the key player in a feud with the heel team of Sid Vicious, Harlem Heat and Vader, Shockmaster was suppose to "shock the world," but when Fred Ottman (formerly Typhoon and Tugboat in WWF) crashed through the wall and onto his butt, he single-handedly brought down months of planning and promotional cash put into Fall Brawl.
It did not help that Ric Flair, Davey Boy Smith and even Ole Anderson (who provided the voice of The Shockmaster) struggled to stay in character while Booker T and Stevie Ray cursed in the background.
This live television moment was parodied by Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Dusty Rhodes and Arn Anderson (standing in for "brother" Ole) .
And you thought it couldn't get any worse than The Shockmaster?
When ECW was officially run by Paul Heyman they could do no wrong.
When ECW was bought by WWE and repackage for SCI-FI Television...well, here was the first offerings of the night.
I am not sure if this was just a nod to SYFY and their "otherworldly" programming, or if this was another of Vince McMahon's clever characters, but one thing is painfully certain; The Zombie is without a doubt the worst character in the history of WWE or WCW.
We have come to the end of the journey.
In the last 10 slides you have seen the weird, the grotesque and the downright bizarre characters that have come from the minds of the creative writing staffs at the biggest Sports Entertainment companies to ever exist.
These were just a few offerings. I am sure that there are more. Feel free to post them on my comments and remember that "a bunch of monkeys in a room can produce Shakespeare" but only the ultimate genius can produce The Zombie.