10 Tips To Guarantee Fantasy Football Success For The 2009 Season!

John C. Sease, Jr.Correspondent IJanuary 7, 2009

The 2008 NFL season has almost come to an end.

At the conclusion of the playoffs, I (along with many others) will be having football withdrawal for the next seven months.

Since we will all suffer from the gridiron void, I have decided to give all of the fantasy football geeks (like myself) a jump on what to look for during the next fantasy season.

Anyone that has played fantasy football will appreciate the following tips because I am sure that you have experienced one or more of the listed tips.

However, for those of you that will be new to fantasy football, the following is a list of things that will definitely happen during your season.  Therefore, you will have seven months to safeguard yourself against these constants.

The following are ten things that will surely happen (in no particular order) during the season...along with the suggested remedy:

1. It is a foregone conclusion that whomever you decide to bench will outscore your starter at the same position.  The remedy: Everyone you plan to bench...start!

2. It is a foregone conclusion that the first place team will lose to the last place team toward the end of the season.  The remedy: Try not to be in first place when you are scheduled to play the last place team in weeks nine through twelve.

3. It is a foregone conclusion that you will pick a player with a good scoring reputation from previous years that turns out to be a "worthless dud."  However, when you decide to trade him or put him on waivers, he will inevitably become a scoring machine for someone else who picks him up off the waiver wire.  The remedy: Embrace your dud...he'll come around!

4. It is a foregone conclusion that you will over-analyze and over-coach yourself in to making a roster decision/change that was initially supposed to be very simple.  The remedy: Don't start listening to yourself now...it never worked in the past!

5. It is a foregone conclusion that you will hesitate to acquire a free agent for a split second and someone else will pick up the player seconds ahead of your decision to seal the deal.  The remedy: Go ahead and make the move when you feel it.  It is okay for you to prematurely "enact-a-trade" in this instance...we understand!

6. It is a foregone conclusion that your seldom used backup tight end or quarterback will score huge points all season...until the time comes when you have to insert them for the bye week.  At this time, they will score two points each.  The remedy: Drop both of those bums before the bye week and pick up two "no-names" to fill their roster spot.  If they stink, then you have no expectations of them since they were no-names from the beginning.  If they score huge points, then you will look like a genius!

7. It is a foregone conclusion that at some point during the season, your opponents' "no-name" player that he has slated against your "named" player will outscore your named player by thirty points. 

Yeah...that's right...your Ladainian Tomlinson will be outscored by your oppnents' last minute injury replacement named "Stanley Horlacher" and Horlacher will score forty-five points to Tomlinsons' seven.  The remedy:  As soon as you see a "no-named" opponent up against your star player, immediately sit your star and get your own "no-named" player to counter his move!

8. It is a foregone conclusion that any starter on your roster that has been deemed out because of injury will either do one of the following: If you start him, then he will not play the entire game and you will get no points and lose the overall match-up by two points. 

If you sit him because of the injury, then he will pull a "Willis Reed" on you and play the game...thus scoring forty points on the bench.  The remedy: Drop the bum from your roster so you won't have to make that decision...it's too exhausting!

9. It is a foregone conclusion that if you are listed as the "projected points" blowout favorite by a huge margin, then you will surely lose that matchup by twenty points.  The remedy:  If the projected points for the matchup are listed in your favor 115.92 to 85.76...swap all of your starters for the bench players and get those projected points down to a respectable 87.99.  That way, it won't look like you choked!

10. It is a foregone conclusion that the person with the highest point total during the season will be near last place in the "won-loss" standings for most of the season.  The remedy: Don't aspire to score a lot of points...it just sets you up for disappointment.  Aspire to be mediocre...average 85 points a game and you'll be in first place.

Honorable Mention:

It is a foregone conclusion that if you decide to swap a starter for a bench player prior to kickoff...you will inevitably root against your player on the bench so that he doesn't outscore the player for whom he was swapped.  Weird...huh?  The remedy: There is no remedy here...either way...you'll still lose!

Okay boys and girls, now that you know what to do for next fantasy season, everyone should go undefeated.

Er...uh...that wouldn't be possible, therefore, just have fun playing and agonizing as I do every fantasy football season.