Communism is an egalitarian system of social organization, in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state, dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party.
34 bowl games. That means 34 “winners.”
How nice, 34 teams can call themselves winners. How egalitarian. I remember the last time I was involved with so many “winning teams.” It was in tee-ball. We didn’t even keep score.
The BCS selects (read controls) the 68 teams who participate in this social activity called bowl season, and thus get the economic reward. A ton of money is spread around 68 schools (nearly half of the D-I football schools, pretty egalitarian). And yes, even the losers get paid (very egalitarian). It is likely that more money is spread around these schools in a single season than was distributed in the entire history of Soviet Russia.
In every other sport on the planet, there can be only one winner. Hell, even soccer, which has more ties than all the world’s fathers, has a tournament every four years with JUST ONE WINNER. Maybe you heard of it: the World Cup. Sure they start with some ridiculous round robin, where teams can lose and still advance. But at some point, they switch to single elimination until there is just one silly “football” team left.
On paper, the BCS sounds good. Let’s have a lot of meaningful games. Lot’s of little championships are better than one, right? WRONG. Homer Simpson was smart enough to see, “…Communism worked in theory, in theory.”
At the end of the BCS schedule, we are left with many teams who claim to be No. 1. How many players hold up a single digit while mugging the camera and mouthing “We’re number one”? They can’t all be No. 1, can they? I was not that good in math. Let’s count it out: “one, one, one, one, one, two.” Hold on, that sounds wrong. Can we get someone from MIT to check that math please?
Not to worry. The BCS will tell us which team is No. 1 after the last BCS bowl game. This is Communism, pure and simple. It is truth if they tell you it is truth. They have some formula with computers and voters and…
Hold everything! I could be wrong. What is more democratic than a vote? The BCS does have a nifty little vote that will tell us who is No. 1. The BCS is a Democracy, not Communism after all!
But, this little vote is held by a select few, the coaches. One might even call these coaches the party leaders. This vote is starting to reek of Communism again (see: dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party.)
What about the masses—all of the players? Why shouldn’t their vote count? How do they vote? I like to think that their vote is the performance they leave on the field. What better way to exercise their vote than with a playoff? The team with the most good votes, sometimes called plays or drives, wins!
But in a playoff, not everyone can win. Hell, even the best team will lose sometimes. Guess what? SOMETIMES YOU LOSE. SOMETIMES THE BEST TEAM LOSES! Just ask the Patriots.
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