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Randall “Sausage Assaulter” Simon in a Milwaukee Brewers' Uni?

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Randall “Sausage Assaulter” Simon in a Milwaukee Brewers' Uni?

randall-simon
First of all, how did we miss THIS? And secondly, could it actually be true?

The Sausage Assaulter himself will work out for the Brewers? Or already has? Now there’s an interesting hot stove rumor…

Simon last played in MLB briefly in 2006 for the Phillies, hitting .238 in 21 at bats. It looks like he was out of baseball in 2007 and played for the independent Newark Bears of the Atlantic League last year.

I’m not really sure what the Brewers would want with him. His upside seems to be as a September call-up defensive replacement (as he’s very solid defensively at first base). He had a couple pretty good seasons in MLB, but they were five plus years ago now. He is still just 33 so maybe he can turn things around for himself and earn a big-league bench role.

I’m sure Simon would be thrilled to get a job with any MLB team, but landing with the Brewers would almost be self punishment. He’s primarily remembered for the sausage incident in every MLB town, but in Milwaukee, that infamy is magnified 1,000 times over.

Here’s some video coverage of the incident to refresh people’s minds:

 

 

Simon did reveal some interesting information that I had never heard about the sausage incident in another Atlantic League Baseball blog post last year:

But nobody will remember the numbers. They’ll only remember the indelible image of Simon, leaning over the dugout railing, tapping a girl in a sausage suit with his bat.

If it seems innocent enough, it was. But a lot of people didn’t see it that way.

Suffice it to say, he never thought it would have turned out the way it ultimately did.

“I never in my life have tried to hurt anybody,” Simon said.

“It was something that really hurt me and my family. I never in my life had been arrested. I always promised to God that I was never going to have anyone put handcuffs on me. But God gave me the strength to put that behind me and move on. It was key for me to let that go and focus on baseball and not let that hurt my team.”

What people do know is that Simon unintentionally struck Mandy Block, who was wearing the sausage costume at the time, with his bat. What they don’t know is that Simon paid for the then 19-year-old and her family to take a vacation in his native Curacao for a whole week.

“I really thank her for the way she handled it. If it wasn’t for her, it would have been a lot bigger with no need,” Simon admitted.

Maybe if people knew the aftermath, that the 32-year-old went out of his way to make things right not because he had to, but because he wanted to, perhaps they wouldn’t make the comments they do.

Unfortunately, I’m afraid Simon would have a hard time escaping Sausagegate in the city it took place in.

What a crazy offseason…

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