10 Reasons I Wish Manny No More Success [Old]

Nick Coviello by Contributor Written on January 07, 2009
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1) Manny is an asshole. My, my how quickly my opinion of one player can change within just one week. This sure as hell doesn’t give a good sign of what’s going to happen if my future girlfriend and I have a bad week.

But either way, whatever happened this week between the FO and Manny, he made it way worse than it could have been and handled it in the worst way possible. The antics on the field during the Angels series was one thing, but the comments he made were pouring gasoline on the fire.

“The Red Sox don’t deserve a player like me”? Eat a bag of dicks, Manny.

 

2) I’m an asshole. I flat out wouldn’t be able to handle it if Manny went into Hollywood and tore it up. I’m a greedy type of guy. If what you’re doing doesn’t benefit me in any way than their success pisses me off. I’m a jealous asshole.

 

3) Speaking of Hollywood… It’s only been ONE day since Manny has been a Dodger and yet I’ve heard how Hollywood is the best fit for Manny and his persona. Manny being Manny goes Hollywood...Just thinking about it makes me sick.

You thought the Sox let Manny get away with hell? Just wait and see what the Dodgers let Manny get away with within the span of two or three months.

 

4) All of a sudden he’s Mr. Nice Guy. Now that Manny finds himself out of Boston and on a losing (but improved) team he needs to make it known just how f***ing happy he is to be there. It’s such cliche bullshit, and Manny found out how to put a new spin on it.

He looked like a fool during his press conference, joking around with the media as if they’re not going to be as brutal on him as Boston reporters were...it’s Hollywood for God’s sake.

 

5) Seeing Jason Bay play one game in left made me feel orgasmic. I had completely forgotten what it was like to see a line drive heading to left and not have to hold my breath.

Bay showed in one game just how easy it is to cover the ground in left, which is something Manny still was having trouble figuring out. (No one knows the bounces and the wall better than Manny, but he’s just such a slow, lazy, fat f***.)

Anyone else see the gap shot that Manny didn’t chase down in Dodger Stadium? The ball that him and Andruw Jones both looked at each other wondering when the other was going to go retrieve it? What a fat, lazy f***.

Nothing is going to change with him. I can’t wait to see the adventures he has in the significantly larger left field at Dodger Stadium. Oh, and there’s no DH option, Manny!

 

6) His inability to make a decision. I just remembered the several occasions in which Manny claimed he wanted to end his career with the Red Sox. The brutal situations in life even creep into sports. There are devastating divorces in marriage and close friendships that end suddenly. Manny’s eventual departure was like a mix of those. Can you tell I’m f***ing bitter?

 

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written on January 07, 2009 Rankings/List

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