10 Most Hilarious Footballer Names of All Time

You might not believe this mans name, even if I told you.

Every now and again, there comes along a player with the most ridiculous name.

Some players have names that aren't that bad, yet they decide to add a little moniker to push them over the edge—slide No. 1 will clear that up.

Over the years, many a pub goer has had the conversation with their friends on who had the funniest footballing name of all time.

If you've yet to play that game, here is some ammunition for you.

Chiqui Arce

Nothing particularly amusing about the name Francisco Javier Arce, you might be thinking, but the player gave himself the moniker Chiqui, which brought great amusement and remembrance to all those who read his name.

Chiqui Arce played right back for Paraguay in the 1998 and 2002 World Cups.

Ars Bandeet

Now there seems to be some controversy over whether Mr. Ars Bandeet ever really existed.

A google search reveals he was supposedly an Algerian footballer in the 1970s, but there is seemingly no hard evidence to back up these claims.

I'll leave it for you to decide on his legitimacy!

Bongo Christ

This one does have legitimate background information to confirm it's a real person.

Bongo Christ was a striker who played for a host of clubs including Hannover 96 and SV Wilhelmshaven. He also featured a few times for the Republic of Congo national team.

What an excellent name.

Norman Conquest

Not only an extremely important piece of historical significance, Norman Conquest was also an Australian goalkeeper who featured for the International team in the late 1940s.

This Norman Conquest did not attempt to invade England.

Creedence Clearwater Couto

You can't make this stuff up.

Creedence Clearwater Couto still plays football today at the age of 32, but not at a great level.

Perhaps he should have joined an American band instead.

Have—a—look Dube

No, I'm not joking, and feel free to follow this link to another article that mentions the player if you don't believe me.

Have—a—look Dube played for the Njube Sundowns in Zimbabwe.

Rod Fanni

Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Rod Fanni currently plays for Marseille in French Ligue Une and has also won five caps for the French national team.

You thought I was being rude, didn't you?

Danger Fourpence

Danger Fourpence is another player who was part of the Zimbabwean era of crazy names.

Fourpence gets extra credit for being the best named amongst a team of incredible names.

Here are some of the other names that are featured in Fourpence's team:

Clever Muzuva, Raymond Undi, Blessing Makunike, Marvel Samaneka, Heavens Chinyama, Givemore Manuella, Gift Makolonio, Method Mwanyazi, Limited Chicafa and Zambian Laughter Chilembe.

What a mouthful.

Bernt Haas

Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images

If you make the H in his last name silent, Bernt Haas becomes a rather amusing name to those with a childish mentality.

Haas played for Sunderland and West Bromwich Albion, where he was nicknamed Vindaloo due to the legendary hot curry's effect on you the morning after eating it.

I'm sure you can figure it out.

Anthony Oatway

"And what is your name please, sir?"

"Anthony Oatway."

"Your full name please, sir..."

"Oh...Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway...or Charlie for short."

This player was reportedly named after the Queens Park Rangers' 1973 squad by his fanatical parents.

Afterthoughts

Sometimes in life, you have to be happy with your lot.

I for one am reasonably happy with the name given to me by my parents, but some of these footballers certainly have grounds for filing a child abuse case.

I suppose it has given them a little bit of fame if nothing else.

 

Thanks for reading and be sure to check out 10 hilarious footballing headlines and the latest scouting report on rumoured Tottenham signing Eden Hazard.

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