WWE Raw: Punk vs. Jericho Is Set, Hell in a Cell Confirmed, John Cena and More

WWE Monday Night Raw opened with Eve and the Bella Twins.

The Bellas put over Zack Ryder but Eve just laughed at them. She and Ryder were never friends and she was just using him.

Now Eve will use John Cena and wanted the Bellas to film her interacting with him.

Cena just happened to be standing behind her, though, and walked away.

Did WWE’s flagship show really just open with Eve’s heel turn?

This was quite the interesting segment but I don’t buy Eve as a heel.

John Cena then headed out to the ring. Before he got the chance to speak, though, Eve made her way out.

She wanted to explain but Cena declared that she was sipping skank juice and using her assets to get ahead. He lost a broski for hoeski because of it.

She began to cry but still tried to wrap herself around Cena. The referees pulled her off and Cena declared that he was disease free and wanted to keep it that way.

Eve is just a horrible actress. I have seen better acting from Kristen Stewart and Hayden Christiansen.

Cena was funny and that made for an entertaining segment.

If Eve really is going to be a heel, WWE better get her an acting coach or something.

An Undertaker video then aired. He said that every story has an ending and kept repeating the word “vengeance.”

I’m quite interested what the Undertaker will look like with no hair and what he has planned for Triple H.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Sheamus picked up the victory with the Brogue Kick.

I thought this was a decent match. Sheamus looked good in the ring while Mark Henry seemed slower than usual.

I’m quite glad that Sheamus will be going for the World Heavyweight Championship as I think he and Daniel Bryan will be able to put on a great match.

After the year Sheamus has had, he deserves this spot at WrestleMania.

As for Henry, I have a feeling that he’ll be a part of some backstage comedy segment at WrestleMania.

I mean, who else does he have to face that he hasn’t already?

Oh that’s right, everybody since he’s only faced Big Show and Daniel Bryan for the past six months.

Backstage, John Laurinaitis is bragging about himself when Teddy Long entered.

He too thinks that one person should run both shows but thinks that the WWE Universe should decide who.

Laurinaitis doesn’t care about fans, he only cares about what the board of directors thinks.

He booked a 10-man battle royal to determine CM Punk’s opponent at WrestleMania and Teddy Long inserted five SmackDown stars.

They booked David Otunga vs. a SmackDown wrestler and Teddy left saying that Otunga looked like Pee Wee Herman’s fairy godmother.

I thought this was an entertaining segment. It continued the tension between the two general managers, but I have a bad feeling that we’ll be seeing John Laurinaitis vs. Teddy Long at WrestleMania.

And Pee Wee’s fairy godmother? I always thought Otunga looked like Carlton Banks!

R-Truth and Kofi Kingston vs. Primo and Epico

The Booming Truth, at least that’s what I’m calling them, picked up the win after Kingston hit Trouble in Paradise on Primo.

This was a decent match that saw a bit of nice action, mostly from Kingston.

If given the chance, Kingston and R-Truth probably could make a great team.

In today’s extremely lacking tag-team division, that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Primo and Epico seemed to get zero reaction from the crowd. Their only selling point is Rosa Mendes, which is a shame.

The champions have shown to be a good team and can put on a good match. It’s just that they make horrible heels.

Ron Simmons was then announced as being inducted into this year’s Hall of Fame. He’s very deserving as Simmons has had a great career.

Backstage, Chris Jericho complained about what happened at the Elimination Chamber. He’s the best at everything he does and the world as we know would be ending tonight.

Is it me or is “The world as you know is coming to an end” becoming 2012’s “It’s my destiny”?

You know, a statement that doesn’t actually lead anywhere.

A good promo by Jericho but he needs something new to say.

David Otunga vs. Ezekiel Jackson

David Otunga picked up the win with a Spinebuster.

I didn’t like this match at all. This was the only part of the night that was putting me to sleep.

I think that Big Zeke will be a part of the Future Endeavored Class of 2012 after WrestleMania as he completely tanked during and after his push.

David Otunga makes a good sidekick to John Laurinaitis but makes a horrible wrestler.

It may just be the opponents he’s paired up with but I can’t remember seeing Otunga ever having a good match.

He should just stick to being a talking sidekick with a bowtie.

It was now time for the Undertaker as he headed to the ring next. He has been living in hell for the past year due to the beating he took from Triple H last year and he couldn’t bear it anymore.

Their war must come to an end. It was the apocalypse and the end of an era.

They were the last two of an era and it was time to end it.

Triple H made his way out and tried to repeat himself but Undertaker cut him off. He didn’t want pity. Triple H was pitiful for coming up with excuses for not facing him.

Triple H said it wasn’t his fate to end it and won’t be taking the match.

Undertaker asked if it was bad for business if he was gone or if Triple H was. The Game responded that it was just plain bad.

The Deadman called him a coward and said that he couldn’t do it anyway since Shawn Michaels couldn’t, and HBK was always better than him.

Triple H then accepted the match because he knew that he could beat him.

It won’t just be any kind of match, though, it’ll be Hell in a Cell!

While the Undertaker seemed really off his game, this was a great segment.

I’ve been calling for this to be a Hell in a Cell match for weeks and it was finally made official.

This match will be quite intense and we’ll hopefully see the return of some blood.

WrestleMania is shaping up to be great and I couldn’t be more excited!

I just wish we got to see what Undertaker looked like bald.

Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Daniel Bryan put himself over as a role model and bragged about retaining the title. While a short speech, Bryan was great on the mic.

This ended up being a squash match as Bryan quickly picked up the win with the Labelle Lock.

I was hoping that after Santino’s great performance last night that he’d actually receive some kind of push.

It doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen, though.

Kelly Kelly and Aksana vs. The Bella Twins

The Bella Twins won the match after some twin magic. This was the typical Divas match that was short and an overall waste of space.

Aksana is just horrible and it blows my mind that she’s being featured in matches. With Eve now a heel, though, I guess Kelly needed a new sidekick.

I was hoping that Kharma would have come out and dismantled all four of them but we weren’t that lucky.

I have a bad feeling that we won’t be seeing Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma at WrestleMania. 

John Cena was in the ring after the commercial break and he called Eve a Skankapotamus.

He then put down the Rock for not being around and praised himself for never leaving.

I feel like we’ve heard this somewhere before. Oh that’s right, we have.

Despite Cena being quite on the mic here, he just repeated the same thing he’s been saying for the past year.

If you’re going to put down the Rock, at least come up with some new material.

If what you’re saying hasn’t gotten the audience to turn their back on the Rock then it’s not going to.

10-Man Battle Royal: No. 1 Contender’s Match

Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Wade Barrett vs. Great Khali vs. Miz vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella vs. Chris Jericho

With CM Punk on commentary, Chris Jericho picked up the win after eliminating the Big Show with some help from Cody Rhodes.

This was actually a pretty good battle royal but it may have taken a superstar out of WrestleMania.

I am beyond glad that we’ll be seeing CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho at WrestleMania but I’m worried that we won’t be seeing Wade Barrett at all.

After Big Show threw out Dolph Ziggler onto Wade Barrett and R-Truth, Barrett landed on his arm hard and had to be stretchered out.

Barrett has worked hard over the past year and it would be a shame if he missed the big event.

Conclusion

Overall I thought this was a pretty good episode of Monday Night Raw.

While all the matches but one were below expectations, the majority of the segments were quite good.

WWE did a great job building up WrestleMania here and they are on the right track to have a great event!