The Doctor's WWE Raw Recap List: The 148 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistFebruary 21, 2012


Tonight's Raw was the first in a string of many before we reach WrestleMania 28 in Miami. The night was filled with moments that advanced storyline progression heading to Mania.

Cena addressed Eve, who admitted to only using Ryder to get ahead, and called her everything from a Hoeski to a scandalous bitch. It was certainly a good night for Cena, as he also gave a scathing promo to The Rock later in the night.

We also got to see Triple H accept the Undertaker's challenge for one more match at WrestleMania, with the stipulation by Triple H that the match happen inside a cell. It was also interesting to note that Taker did not reveal his new hairstyle, opting to keep the hood on during his promo.

CM Punk also found out who he would be facing at WrestleMania when Chris Jericho won a 10-man battle royal to become the new No. 1 Contender.

The Bellas defeated Kelly Kelly and Aksana in another short Divas match which rounded out at a predictable 1:18. Oscar Jaimes was able to predict the exact time to this match in my Chamber recap.

I also have to mention that Roy Smith was the closest to predicting the Divas match at Elimination Chamber last night by being only 1 second off the time, so congrats Oscar and Roy.

Tonight's show was pretty good so I really enjoyed writing out this recap list, although we did not see Brodus Clay yet again and that was a let down for sure.

For those of you who are not familiar with my recap lists, I run down the entire show with a list made up of equal parts humor, play-by-play, observations, questions, answers, predictions, recap and anything else that I come up with during the show.


I enjoy making these so I hope you enjoy this week's list of the 148 things we learned, loved and hated from Raw.

1. We get a video showing the events of last week with Eve and Cena
2. Eve is backstage with the Bodacious Bellas in those matching red catsuits
3. What the hell, she just went all Pillman and turned heel saying Ryder was just her stepping stone
4. She intends to go to Cena's locker room but he walks up and heard everything
5. So this is how Ryder and Cena can remain best buds
6. Broskis before hoeskis, man
7. Cena's music hits and he gets a very mixed reaction of lots of boos and cheers
8. Eve comes out trying to explain to Cena
9. I want to hear a "Yoko" chant right now
10. Whoa, Cena says Eve has been sipping the skank juice, very PG line
11. Ha, Cena uses Broski and Hoeski too, awesome
12. The crowd starts chanting Hoeski and Cena eggs them on, classic
13. Cena says Eve should hold out for the Rock because they have a lot in common, mostly bad qualities, according to Cena
14. Damn, Cena calls Eve a scandalous Bitch
15. I am loving this show already and we're only a few minutes in
16. Eve breaks down crying and when Cena tries to lift her up she tries to jump him and kiss him
17. Cena says he wants to stay disease-free and walks off
18. Best Cena segment in years, the crowd was totally behind him after being split when he first came out
19. Whoever wrote the script for that segment deserves a slammy or something
20. A "We want Ryder, woo woo woo" chant breaks out as some officials escort Eve to the back
21. The video with Taker cutting his hair is shown again so I guess we will probably see a bald dead man tonight
22. Nice, we will get CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan tomorrow
23. Sheamus is out next for a match and he is introduced by Roberts as having chosen Bryan as his opponent at Mania
24. Mark Henry is out to face him to some major heat from the crowd
25. Hey, Henry and Sheamus are wearing coordinating tights, they must have planned this out over a shopping trip
26. Awesome, Hoeski is trending, normally I hate Twitter facts but this is pretty cool
27. The two trade offense for most of the match
28. Sheamus is kicking Henry in the corner and almost gets disqualified after not letting up
29. Sheamus misses a Brogue kick and Henry goes on the offensive
30. Henry goes for the WSS but Sheamus breaks free and hits the Brogue kick for the pin and the win
31. Short match but it works to push Sheamus, giving him momentum going towards Mania by beating a former champion
32. Johnny Ace and David Otunga are backstage talking about Elimination Chamber and Otunga is decked out in purple bowtie and sweater vest to match JL's purple shirt and tie, so many people are matching attires tonight
33. This week's Otunga nickname game will revolve around the color purple
34. My choice is "The grape grappler", leave you "purple"-themed Otunga nicknames in the comments section below
35. Teddy Long walks in and they have a conversation about JL wanting Teddy removed as GM of SmackDown
36. Teddy basically calls JL a pile of crap
37. Johnny Ace saying "player" is really funny
38. Long calls Otunga Pee-Wee Herman's fairy godmother
39. So there will be a 10-man battle royale tonight to see who faces Punk at Mania
40. I wonder if Santino will be involved? He won the last battle royale for a title match and you know the crowd would pop big for him after last night's performance
41. Good post-chamber Raw so far
42. R-Truth's music hits and he comes out after the commercial
43. Truth is moving gingerly, I wonder if he is actually feeling the effects of last night or just playing it up for the camera?
44. Kofi is out next as his partner for a tag match
45. Epico and Primo are out next, this should be a good match
46. The Latina Stacy Kiebler looks more and more comfortable in this role every week
47. Truth takes control early over Epico
48. Primo tags in and he just takes it to Truth right away
49. Kofi gets the tag and he comes in and takes out Primo and Epico in quick fashion
50. Kofi gets the win with Trouble in paradise in a quick but entertaining match
51. I could get behind a Kofi/Truth tag team if they were pushed right
52. I guess everyone who didn't win in the chamber are in the battle royale later, so Santino will indeed make an appearance
53. We find out who the next Hall of Fame inductee will be
54. It's Ron Simmons!
55. Awesome, he totally deserves it, a great talent who did a lot for the business and a lot for African-American wrestlers in general
56. I honestly could not be happier with this selection, bravo WWE
57. Damn, I miss the APA, they were such a cool concept and provided for so many great segments
58. Congrats Ron Simmons, you absolutely deserve this
59. Cole runs down how Jericho was hurt during the Chamber match last night
60. Jericho is backstage talking about how it is unfair that he never got to finish the match
61. Tonight is the end of the world? Is it Dec. 21 yet?
62. Who the hell does Flo Rida know to get so many PPV themes used off his album?
63. David Otunga is out for a match with Laurinaitis in his corner
64. Teddy Long and Ezekiel Jackson are out next
65. If they are reigniting a brand war here, then I am all for it, it's been way too long since there was any real division of the shows
66. This is like looking at a black Dr Evil and his Mini-me
67. Otunga is actually getting in some good offense in this match
68. Holy Cow! Otunga got a win!
69. Good for you Grape Grappler, it's been awhile since you had a W
70. JL mocks Long and celebrates with Otunga in the ring
71. Dammit, I just noticed that I wore almost the exact same thing Cole is wearing today, I know it is just a coincidence but it still makes me think I should get a new wardrobe
72. We get a replay of HBK and HHH having their standoff last week
73. Awesome, Taker's feet are shown as he walks backstage in a dark hallway towards the ring
74. Whoever they showed trying to take a picture of Taker's entrance snapped it at the wrong moment and the screen was totally blanked out by a fireball
75. Taker is out in a new sleeveless jacket and you can see he no longer has long hair under his hood
76. So did he just borrow Kane's wig that one week or what?
77. The crowd chants his name as Undertaker looks at the WrestleMania sign
78. He speaks!
79. Taker looks good, healthy and well-rested
80. This promo is a bit out of character; he is talking like he is a normal person and not some phenom of the underworld
81. I like it
82. He talks about how he and Trips are the last of their generation
83. That just made me depressed thinking about how it's actually true
84. Wait a second, is that a corset he is wearing over his coat?
85. Triple H gets called out and his music hits
86. Triple H starts talking and Undertaker tells him to shut up and save his pity
87. You know what's funny about them being the last of their kind, Lawler has been around longer than both men combined and he still wrestles on occasion
88. Taker says it might be Triple H who is worried about having his career ended
89. Triple H goes to leave and Taker calls him a coward
90. He comes back in and says he is sick of being called a coward
91. He also says he won't be baited into accepting the challenge and still says no
92. Taker says Triple H has realized he can't do what Shawn couldn't do because Shawn was always better than Triple H
93. That pissed him off
94. Triple H takes off his jacket and tie and walks back to the ring
95. Triple H says he knows he can finish Undertaker and the crowd starts chanting "Prove it"
96. Triple H finally accepts the match
97. He says if they are going to do this they are going all the way, I think my Prom date said the same thing, it did not turn out well
98. Triple H wants the match to be a Hell in the Cell match
99. The crowd just blew up at that notion and frankly I think it actually makes the idea of a match between them more interesting
100. Taker leaves and his music is now Metallica?
101. It's more of an American Bad-Ass type song than a Dead-Man type song
102. After the break, Daniel Bryan comes out to talk about being a role model
103. Haha, Santino's music hits and he comes out to a nice pop
104. I guess they have a singles match next, this should be a good litmus test for how WWE will treat Santino going forward, I need some lichens
105. Santino ends up tapping out to the LeBell Lock in about two minutes, looks like he is still a comedy jobber
106. This commercial for Just For Men with the baby in the night club is so disturbing to me for some strange reason, but I can't figure out why
107. Oh, now I know, it's because dancing babies are creepy as hell, Damn you Ally McBeal for making this a trend
108. Ok, Divas match is up next and we have Aksana and Kelly vs The Bodacious Bella Twins
109. Let's see who had the closest time prediction for this match
110. Aksana and Kelly do a little double team which involved slapping their butts
111. The Bellas win with some Twin Magic
112. Bell to Bell time was 1:18, Congrats to Oscar James for getting the exact time in his prediction on my Chamber recap list, make sure to leave you predictions for the next Divas match below
113. Cena is in the ring to talk about The Rock
114. HAHA, Sign of the night "Suck it Ted"
115. I don't know who Ted is but he just got burned on national television
116. Cena rips Rock for always running back to Hollywood
117. Nice, he even rips his own movies, good call Cena
118. Cena is getting kind of real here, I like it
119. He even says Vince will fine him for saying The Rock only came back to launch his Twitter and promote Fast 5
120. I do like what Cena has to say in these promos tonight, he even made up a new word, Skankapotomus
121. Punk is out after the break and he is wearing a sport coat over his wrestling gear
122. Put some damn pants on if your not wrestling! This isn't France
123. Punk is on commentary for the battle royal to determine his opponent for WrestleMania
124. I just thought about something random, when was the last time Cena actually had a match on Raw? It feels like it has been forever because he just keeps getting into scuffles backstage with Kane
125. Jericho still gets a lot of cheers but he is finally starting to get some real heat during his entrance for the first time since his return
126. Cole is not shocked to find out Punk shops at thrift stores
127. You can find some cool stuff sometimes
128. Ziggler still has his new pink shirt hanging from his tights as he wrestles
129. Pretty much everyone in the match gangs up on Khali to eliminate him
130. Ha, Punk cuts off Cole when we come back from commercial and does the intros
131. Miz is out of the match next
132. Nice, Show chokeslams Kofi and Truth at the same time
133. Everyone hits their finishers on each other and Santino ends up eliminating Barrett at the end of it
134. Santino throws Truth out next
135. Punk would love to face Santino at Mania
136. Show throws out Ziggler
137. This is a lot to type so quickly when they are getting thrown out every five seconds
138. Ziggler took a bad fall when he was eliminated and may have hurt his arm on the announce table
139. The ref throws up the X sign and Ziggler must have really hurt himself, it sucks because this might keeo him out of Mania if it is a break (Update: It was Barrett who was injured)
140. Santino skins the cat to stay in the match and hits the Cobra on Jericho
141. Cody throws Santino out into the area where Barrett is being attended to and it looks like Santino may have landed right on Zigglers arm as the Doctor was putting it in a brace
142. Show suplexes both Rhodes and Jericho and then he throws Rhodes over the top
143. Show chops Jericho's chest and Jericho looks like he went out like a light
144. Show goes to choke slam Jericho but Y2J holds onto Show's head and Rhodes helps to pull him out of the ring
145. Jericho wins and will face Punk at WrestleMania for the WWE Championship
146. Punk goes in the ring and tries to shake Jericho's hand but Jericho just walks out of the ring and points to the WM sign
147. Punk's music hits and he poses for the crowd
148. This was a pretty good Raw, I liked almost everything I saw and we got a lot of advancement on the road to WrestleMania right out of the gate following Elimination Chamber. Now I am going to go watch last week's Archer again and then hit the hay, good night everyone.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below. Also please take a moment and share your purple-themed nicknames for David Otunga as well as your prediction for the exact time of the next Divas match.

On a personal note, I have to say Congratulations to my brother Jay and his wife Jessica who announced recently that their upcoming baby is going to be a boy. My nephew Aidan will have a little brother to play with soon.

Update: I am now realizing it was Wade Barrett who was hurt tonight and not Dolph Ziggler. It was due to the announcers saying Ziggler may have been hurt and the fact that it's hard to type and watch at the same time. I apologize for the error.