Finally an article that isn't about Arsenal transfer rumours, Liverpool transfer rumours or Manchester United transfer rumours.
Take a break from the seriousness of world football and come join me as we delve into the wackier side of football.
Here are the top 10 wackiest world football stories of the week.
If you're Australian, you probably know Clive Palmer, the billionaire owner of Gold Coast United. He's a man with innovative ideas like cutting the stadium's capacity from 27,400 to 5,000 and handing the captaincy to a 17-year-old debutant.
Yes, you read right: Mitch Cooper achieved the unusual feat of making his captaincy debut and professional debut on the same night.
Prior to the game against Melbourne Heart, manager Miron Bleiberg was suspended for a week after belittling Cooper's appointment.
If you're interested, Cooper's debut was a losing one, but he played well for a kid.
FIFA World Club Cup finalists Santos lost their opening Copa Libertadores game against The Strongest, a Bolivian club.
Even with Neymar, Ganso and Elano, it was inevitable that Santos buckled under the pressure against The Strongest players.
The Estudiantes Under-20 team unsportingly took advantage of an uncontested drop ball situation which led to a penalty in their favour.
Estudiantes manager Mauricio Gallaga ordered his player to deliberately miss his penalty because one of his players did not return possession to the other team from the drop ball.
Excellent sportsmanship from Gallaga, which was similar to Jong Ajax allowing Cambuur to score after Jan Vertonghen accidentally scored when he was trying to give back possession.
Samsunspor have been one of the worst teams in the Turkish Süper Lig, and it would have tragic if lives were lost after their bus was hit by a train.
An accident that would have been avoided if the Samsunspor bus driver looked to his left and stopped.
The driver claimed the train's lights were off even though the video showed the lights were on.
FIFA have asked the Argentine Football Association to explain why they're planning to rename their league in honour of the Crucero General Belgrano.
What's the Crucero General Belgrano?
It's the Argentine ship sunk by the British HMS Conqueror during the Falklands conflict.
The FA should troll the AFA by introducing the Margaret Thatcher Premier League.
Harry Redknapp can sympathise with Diego Maradona, with the Argentine legend in trouble with the Italian tax department.
He claims he's a victim (as usual):
Every time I set foot in Italy, I feel persecuted; whenever I return, I have a horrible feeling. I've had it with the Italian taxman who's made me feel like a thief, a cheat. I've never stolen anything from Italy or Italians; all I did was give them joy and pleasure on the pitch.
Regarding the "never stolen anything from Italy" part—does €13.7 million in unpaid tax and €23.5 million in interests and fines count?
The story of Adriano is a cautionary tale regarding how being professional will put your career in good stead. Being unprofessional will see your career flash before your eyes.
Corinthians have put him under house arrest because he can't control his eating habits, so the club will have to control it.
Giada Scalise, a 12-year-old, was watching Juventus play when she suffered a brain hemorrhage and fell into a coma.
Alessandro Del Piero recorded a message wishing her to wake up, and she woke up.
Bench warmer by day, miracle worker by night.
Thomas Brolin: Shout me fish and chips
Tomas Brolin was a talented footballer but he was mentally weak and troubled.
His spell at Leeds United was disastrous, and it was a joke that Crystal Palace took a chance with him.
After all these years, Brolin admitted that he sucked, but it was planned:
It may not sound that bad, to be a wide midfielder at Leeds, but the defensive responsibilities I had...At Leeds I was going to run up and down the right like an idiot. That wasn’t me. So I decided I was going to be p*** poor against Liverpool.
Brolin is an idiot for admitting he cheated his teammates, the club, the manager and, most importantly, the fans.
Bayer Leverkusen left-back Michal Kadlec was so desperate to get Lionel Messi's shirt that he asked for it at the half-time break—Messi, being the nice person he is, obliged.
Apparently Manuel Friedrich felt slighted and took the shirt off Kadlec at half-time. So you can just imagine Kadlec getting closer and closer to Messi as the game was about to end.
When you think about it, for the last few minutes, Kadlec wasn't thinking of stopping Barcelona, but stopping his teammates from getting Messi's shirt.
Please read Top 15 Player Outbursts.
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