8 Alternate Professions for Chael Sonnen

Matthew HemphillCorrespondent IIFebruary 6, 2012

8 Alternate Professions for Chael Sonnen

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    Chael Sonnen is more famous for his mouth than for what he does as a fighter, though he actually is a great wrestler and a top UFC fighter.

    But what if he didn't have the ability to fight? What would the Oregonian middleweight contender do then?

    He wouldn't be the fighter who brings fans in by getting them to listen to his over-the-top promos and pressure style of fighting. With a mind like his and a mouth to match, he could still think of something to do.

    Someone as intelligent and controversial as Sonnen would have had several avenues available to him. Some of these are still possibilities.

    Here are the eight possible alternate professions of Chael Sonnen.

Sideshow Barker

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    Chael Sonnen is odd, and so are some of the acts in a circus.

    The man almost seems like a gin and tonic salesman marketing snake oil, but he gets the job done.

    He attracts customers.

    Imagine if he had a bearded lady to hype, or even a two-headed cow?

    Somehow Sonnen would be able to convince those listening that buying a ticket would let them witness the meaning of life.

    And it would be worth the price of admission just to hear him do it.


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    Sonnen sometimes uses gibberish to get people to stop questioning him about things he has said.

    Somehow he can get people to only focus on what he wants them to remember.

    If anyone could learn the law and then use it to get around things that they didn't want to deal with, it is Sonnen. He would be best served as an attorney in civil suits.

    The more frivolous the lawsuit, the better.

    Did your neighbor stop you from using their cats in your cat-apult? Use Chael P Sonnen to sue them for everything they've got!


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    Again, the man can speak in a way that sounds like gibberish.

    He can say one thing at one time and then another a week later.

    Politicians do this for a living, and they word laws in a way which could make even the most intelligent person question what they are reading.

    It is the perfect job for Sonnen, and he already tried running for a congressional seat a few years ago. He dropped out to focus on his MMA career, but it proved that he is serious about it.

    He still might do it after he retires, so be on the lookout, because we may one day see Senator Sonnen.

Bull Rider

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    This one has very little to do with promotion, but Sonnen would face down a bull and decide that it was the only fair fight for him.

    In Sonnen's mind, or at least in his promos, he stands tall above other men.

    The only real option for him outside the UFC would be facing beasts that most would avoid. 

    For whatever faults he may have, Sonnen is gutsy enough to step into the cage, and he would probably do the same if he ever walked into a rodeo.

    Sonnen is also obsessed about belts and buckles, and some that the bull-riders wear dwarf the UFC title.

Political TV Analyst

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    If Sonnen doesn't take a second shot at politics, he could try being an on-air political analyst.

    With his Republican leanings, he could easily snatch a spot on FOX.

    After all, he just got a few million people to watch him on their network already.

    Most political analysts just talk about their personal opinions and do so in a way that attracts both viewers and critics. It gets the network high numbers and controversy, which is what it wants.

    Sonnen can do that with ease, and his larger-than-life persona would draw great numbers for the network.

    Plus, he already has the haircut for it.

UFC Announce Team

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    For those who don't know who Bobby Heenan was, he was a manager in pro wrestling, but he also did some commentating in his career.

    He was known for being brilliant on the mic and getting those who listened at home to react.

    Sonnen wouldn't have as much free reign if he were to join the announce team for UFC, but every fight has a bit of hyperbole and the need for a color man. Sonnen could fit that role and have fans tuning in to hear him put his own spin on what is going down in the cage.

    Just so long as he doesn't completely shed the focus on the technical side of the fights, he should be fine.

A Promoter

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    The word promoter is a tricky term.

    Its technical term is to hype an event, and Sonnen does just that every time he fights.

    But he wouldn't be limited to hyping fights. Sonnen has learned how to blend just enough humor and over-the-top energy into his personality to get people's attention.

    Even if he chose to promote something other then MMA, he could probably do it with ease.

    He could promote anything from musical artists to new breeds of dog and it would take off.

Pro Wrestler

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    This one should come as a surprise to no one.

    The man cuts a promo every time the mic is turned on him and does it in a way that would make many a wrestler proud.

    He has even stolen a line or two from "Superstar" Billy Graham and Jesse "The Body" Ventura.

    The man also has a great background in amateur wrestling, something more then a few pro wrestlers also have.

    With his charisma, the only thing he would lack is size, but with enough dedication, Chael Sonnen could've overcome it and easily been a top WWE superstar.

    Matthew Hemphill writes for the MMA and professional wrestling portion of Bleacher Report.  He also hosts a blog elbaexiled.blogspot.com that focuses on books, music, comic books, video games, film and generally anything that could be related to the realms of nerdom.