After 37 straight hours—or what felt like 37 straight hours—college football's national signing day has, at long last, concluded.
It'd be futile to try to list or pick through each commitment and implication thereof, but it'd be reasonable to figure out the 10 best/most entertaining moments from the day for your reading pleasure. And yes, I'm somehow all about reason on a day when so little of it appeared to be present.
1. Beef on the Farm
In signing three blue-chip offensive linemen—tackles Andrus Peat and Kyle Murphy, alongside guard Josh Garnett, Stanford assembled the best offensive line class of the year, if not of recent years.
If they collectively perform anywhere near the level their associated star ratings would lead to you believe they should, slow camera pans of dejected fans of Stanford opponents will continue to be the norm. Time to simply not screw up, probable new starting Cardinal QB Brett Nottingham.
2. Landon Collins’ Mommy Issues
I certainly have no idea if the accusations that new Alabama safety Landon Collins’ mom made about Nick Saban offering her son’s girlfriend an athletic department job are true, but nothing was more fun/uncomfortable than watching the SEC’s heaviest of the heavyweights do battle as the world turns.
Oh, to be young, otherworldly athletic and have millionaires fighting over you while the woman who gave you life speaks poorly of your girlfriend in front of millions.
3. DGB Is Headed to COU
After a lengthy process that included arguably the nation’s No. 1 recruit telling people things like—well, actually he didn’t really ever say much—Dorial Green-Beckham ended his recruitment by sporting a black and gold hat and signing with Missouri.
If nothing else, Mizzou QB James Franklin will never have a more heralded receiver to overthrow this fall.
4. Kwon Alexander and His Old-Fashion-y Announcement
In selecting LSU, top OLB Kwon Alexander looked to add some fashionable creativity to his selection by revealing purple suspenders and a purple LSU bow tie, but the peskiness of his jacket and TV wiring made the situation uncomfortable for everyone—not unlike what Alexander himself will be doing in SEC backfields for the next three to four years.
RESPECT THE KWON.
5. Tracy Howard’s Hi-Top Fade
Yes, the lasting story will be how elite CB Tracy Howard chose Miami over the school’s in-state recruiting rivals, but this morning’s headline—at least for me—was the glory that was Howard’s hi-top fade, perhaps the best we’ve seen since Brandon Jennings sported the more difficult diagonal version during his senior year of high school. Hi-risk, hi-reward.
6. Urban Meyer Is Either Sadhappy or Happysad
It may still be too close to call, but seeing Urban Meyer simultaneously delighted at the Ohio State class he was able to assemble on short notice was one of the more confusing images of the day.
He clearly takes an enormous amount of pride in his ability to sell his football team to the best available prospects, but it was hard not to notice a little bit of him shrinking away, knowing that he’s probably unfit for life on the outside.
7. Lane Kiffin, Southern Enemy
Coming off of a season in which he was eventually seen as a worthy tactician, developer of talent and adequate play-caller, USC coach Lane Kiffin has flown relatively under the radar, especially with Todd Graham and Charlie Weis doing all they could to drive all of the negative coaching attention to Tempe and Lawrence, respectively.
On signing day, though, at least Kiffin went into the state of Florida and pulled two blue-chippers (DE Leonard Williams and ATH Nelson Agholor) away from SEC powers. Oops?
8. Chicken Sandwich Availability, a Recruiting Deal-Breaker
Cassanova McKinzy (not a typo of any sort), top Birmingham, AL linebacker, decided that Auburn would be the best place for him, in no small part because Clemson was far too far from the nearest Chick-fil-A.
My first thought was to shake my head and move on, but then I remembered how good those damn dipping sauces are. OK, I’ll stop now. The guy has a point.
9. Decision Via Infant Onesie
I don’t think anyone was able to predict that “Onesie swagger’ would become a thing until new Mississippi State MLB Richie Brown used his infant nephew as an adorable little SEC prop in announcing his decision. At this point, the football-related baby power rankings are as follows:
1. Richie Brown’s Nephew
NR. CBS Pregame Show E*Trade Baby
10. Jordan Payton, Yes Man
After an early commitment to USC, highly ranked WR Jordan Payton reconsidered and opened up his recruitment—fair enough. He then committed to Cal during the Army All-American game on national TV, a perfectly reasonable decision, given the Bears’ emerging recruiting class and the tireless effort of then recruiting coordinator Tosh Lupoi.
When Lupoi left for Washington, Payton decided to take a look at the purple and gold, before eventually again committing to Lupoi and this time Washington—on national TV. And then the next day he committed to UCLA. The End.