Happy New Year from the WWE. The WWE was looking to make things huge for 2009, and what a way to start than with a RAW full of blockbuster announcements. With that, here's the recap of tonight's first RAW broadcast of 2009.
After last week’s main event, RAW opens with Chris Jericho and Randy Orton protesting the outcome of last week’s outcome of the Fatal Four Way Main Event. They also announce that if the protest upholds, they will face each other for the right to fight John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship @ The Royal Rumble.
But JBL’s music hits and out comes the Longhorn Jackass & his personal lap dog Shawn Michaels. As the four exchange insulting words to each other, Stephanie McMahon comes out and upholds the ref’s decision from last week. We also find out that Shawn Michaels will not be competing in the Royal Rumble. But Stephanie decides to test whatever is left of his integrity by putting him a tag match tonight. So tonight, Jericho and Orton (who also were entered into the Royal Rumble Match tonight) will face Shawn Michaels, and his partner, the World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena!
First Bout: Goldina defeats Glamarella
As Goldust sends Santino to the outside, Melina tags herself in to finish off The Glamazon. After a modified leg drop off the top rope, Melina uses a modified roll up to get the victory over the Women’s Champion. But it was after the bell that the heat got turned up as Beth’s #1 fan, Rosa Mendes jumps over the barrier once again and gets into a catfight on the outside with the #1 Contender. But Melina gets some shots in before security drags her out of the arena.
Second Bout: CM Punk defeats William Regal for the Intercontinental Championship via DQ
In the beginning, it becomes clear that Regal will do whatever is necessary to leave New Orleans still Intercontinental Champion. It becomes obvious because he uses his girlfriend as a human shield to thwart the assault of Punk on the outside. But as Punk is going for the GTS, Regal grabs the referee and causes the DQ to retain his title. Unfortunately for Regal, Stephanie McMahon decides that he will defend the title against Punk once again…and if Regal gets disqualified, he will lose the Intercontinental Championship.
In the back, Shawn Michaels is hearing JBL spew about his main event tag match tonight with John Cena. He keeps making it clear that Michaels’ only objective is to ensure that JBL headlines Wrestlemania…and that HBK does his part in ensuring that Cena doesn’t even make it to The Royal Rumble.
Also, Orton is in the back rallying his troops, but also releases Manu from The Legacy due to his insubordination and attitude towards the leader. As Cody and Sim walk away with Orton, it’s clear that Manu will be out for revenge against his former partner and The Legend Killer.
Third Bout: The Dirt Sheet defeats Kofi Kingston & Rey Mysterio
Before the bell, the Shaman of Stupidity and The Guy Magnet decide to try their best to insult the city. Unfortunately, no one is buying it, and it doesn’t take long before their opponents let them know that. Kofi starts off and gets the job done to start as he leaves The Miz kicking himself in the ass after a fake dive. But thanks to some underhanded tactics and a huge alley oop on Mysterio, TDS gets control of the match.
Kingston is able to jump in and get some revenge, but John Morrison shoves Kingston off the top rope before he could have a chance to fly. Both Morrison and Miz began to focus on the possibly injured knee of Kingston. Miz sends Kofi up top, but Kofi uses a dropkick to take down Miz and is able to tag in Mysterio. Mysterio comes in like a house of fire and takes down both The Miz and Morrison. Mysterio hits an impressive hurracanrana. After Miz is taking out, Mysterio hits the 619, but gets caught with a spinning kick from Morrison as The Sheet get the win.
After the bell, Mike Knox comes down to finish the job he started last week on Mysterio. I don’t know why this guy is still in the WWE, but if they’re going to use him for something, do it now. He’s kind of boring me…as well as everyone else in the Universe. In the back, John Cena decides that it’s time to confront HBK. As John tries to find out if he’ll get HBK or JBL’s puppet, HBK tells him simply, “What does history tell you to expect from me?” before walking off.
Fourth Bout: Kelly Kelly defeats Jillian
Before the bell, we find out that Kelly’s love interest was not The Miz…but in all actuality, Randy Orton. Also, Jillian comes down screaming her head off with her singing. When she’s not making our ears bleed, Jillian is a pretty good wrestler. As Jillian applies a full nelson, Kelly recovers and nails a head scissors followed by a cross body off the top rope. Jillian recovers and guns for the American Idol, Kelly hit’s the boot to the back and nails the Jaguar Leg Drop to pick up the win over Jillian.
But a sore wannabe songstress snaps and takes out her aggression until the Big Red Monster appears to come down and confront Kelly. Kane comes into the ring and pokes fun at Randy Orton’s rejection of Kelly. He then promises to take out Randy Orton next week in their match. He then tells Kelly, “Feel free to watch.”
Fifth Bout: The Legacy (Rhodes & Snuka) defeats Cryme Tyme
The well-established tag team of Cryme Tyme has no problems in the early going of their match with The Legacy. But a high knee from Snuka, and some coward moves allow Cody Rhodes to jump in and take control. The Legacy tags in and out and keeps JTG on their side of the ring for a duration of the bout. But JTG uses a modified neckbreaker to tag in Shad, who comes in swinging those 300-pound arms all over the place. But a misplaced knee allows JTG to get a blind tag and save his partner. Rhodes counters an onslaught from CTC to drop JTG with a modified Test Drive to pick up the win.
In the back, JBL is leaving Stephanie McMahon’s office smiling. Also, tomorrow night on ECW, expect fireworks for the first ECW of the new year as Teddy Long delivers a huge double main event: ECW Champion Matt Hardy battles Mark Henry and Finlay faces “The All American American” Jack Swagger.
Also, don’t forget: BEHIND ENEMY LINES: COLOMBIA will be out on DVD tomorrow! So go out and buy it! This announcement brought to you in part (no in full) by Misterrrrrrrrr Kennedy!! Wait for it…wait for it….KENNEDY!
In the back, Sim is left out of The Legacy, and Glamarella finds out that Rosa Mendes is banned from RAW. Meanwhile, Chris Jericho informs Stephanie that the protest he sent to her, he also sent it to her father…and that The Boss returns to RAW a week before The Royal Rumble.
Main Event: John Cena & HBK defeat Chris Jericho & Randy Orton
Cena starts the war along with Jericho as New Orleans erupts in a “Cena” chant. After Cena almost FU’s his partner, Orton and Jericho take advantage and double team the World Heavyweight Champion. Jericho has a modified sleeper applied to Cena as Michaels looks on not even looking like he wants in this match. Cena looks to nail the FU on Jericho, but Orton steps in to prevent it. As Jericho continues the pressure, Cena goes for a tag, but HBK is reluctant to get the tag.
Cena looks to be fading from the rear naked choke applied by Jericho, but Cena powers himself out of the sleeper. But Jericho gets dropped by Cena off the top rope, and The Champ lands the Chain Gang Leg Drop. But before Cena can tag, Randy comes in and keeps Cena grounded. After dodging a dropkick, Cena manages to get the tag. But it looks as if Michaels is about to continue the punishment on Cena until Jericho forces his hand. Michaels tries to land the flying elbow, but Jericho manages to get the knees up and after a quick breather, tries to land the Walls.
Orton tries for the RKO, but gets dropped with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels hits it again on Jericho and gets the pin instead of going after Cena to pick up the win for his team. After the bell, JBL informs all of us that Shawn Michaels faces John Cena next week. And to make sure that Shawn keeps his integrity, JBL will be in his corner. In the ring, Cena is telling Michaels that the fans, “Want You Back!” as RAW goes off the air.