What happens in the box, stays in the box. Unless ESPN cameras are there to pick up all the hard-hitting action.
Mark van Bommel is not the most innocent player in football history. His tenuous hits are the stuff of legend, so it's hard for me to feel terribly bad for his misfortune.
Lazio and AC Milan were engulfed in civil war during Coppa Italia action. Just when you thought the use of hands was relegated to shrugging off yellow cards, Andre Dias shows they can be quite useful after all.
What we have here is Lazio defender Dias marking Van Bommel on a corner kick. Here is where things start to hit that proverbial fan.
Van Bommel gets great real estate in the box. Dias is both lazy and overwhelmed, and I say that for the following reason.
He is late getting in on the Milan star and pretty much gives up on the tussle prior to the corner kick. Instead, he thinks to himself, "I will just go to work on this dude's temple and that should be sufficient defense."
The best part is that it was. This has to be the best defense I have seen all day, aside from my wife smacking a burrito out of my hand, of course.
Dias doesn't get a yellow a red, or even a stern warning. The official must have been busy tweeting on how easy being a football ref must be, because he missed the whole ordeal.
That doesn't stop Van Bommel from writhing in pain on the pitch in an effort to say, "Um, I kinda got socked in the freaking head here."
No matter, Milan got the result they were looking for in a 3-1 win over Lazio. Van Bommel will think twice before he gets great position in the box.
And for Dias, please look for the cameras next time.