15 Worst Voices in Sports

Eric NewmanCorrespondent IIIJanuary 16, 2012

15 Worst Voices in Sports

0 of 15

    Professional sports are about skills, strength and agility, but also communication.

    Team huddles, postgame interviews, taunting barbs directed at opponents, commercial endorsements, play-by-play commentary—there are so many situations in which a good speaking voice can be an effective and profitable tool in the world of sports.

    But there is a discordant minority out there, a group of beloved coaches, players, commentators, etc. who have made a name for themselves in the world of professional sports, despite having voices that make us dive for the remote and jab a finger on the mute button.

    WARNING: The following video article is not for the aurally sensitive. It is recommended all readers and listeners keep a finger hovering over the pause button in case the ensuing cacophony proves too much to bear.

    Click on, brave souls, and good luck.

15. Paul Hamm's Helium Addiction

1 of 15

    With his career in the crapper and his alleged violent taxi tantrum, it appears that he is truly "Chipwrecked" along with his other furry friends.

14. Harold "I Gotta Tell Ya" Lederman

2 of 15

    A compilation of an unintentional catch phrase from a piercing voice.

    I dare you to get 30 seconds in.

13. Mike Tyson's Squeakiness

3 of 15

    Here is a rare situation in which having a squeaky voice and a lisp may have worked in someone's favor.

    Tyson claims he was taunted as a kid for his voice.

    Was this lasting ordeal the fuel that powered him to become one of history's greatest pugilists?

12. Rick Jeanneret's Phlegminess

4 of 15

    We want to like the voice of this Buffalo Sabres play-by-play announcer, we really do.

    It has good elocution and is infused with passion.

    But there's just something too nasal, too lung-buttery about it.

11. Avery Johnson's Strident Soprano

5 of 15

    Described as high-pitched and hoarse, extremely annoying and the polar opposite of Dikembe Mutombo's voice. 

10. John Sterling's Sour Twang

6 of 15

    Sterling's voice wins the award for incurring the most vicious and impassioned comment out there in cyberspace: "John Sterling's voice is the audio equivalent of a root canal." 

9. Cleatus's Droid-Ish Drone

7 of 15

    Who knew the thing had a voice? I wish I didn't.

8. Howard Cosell's Hammy Voice

8 of 15

    How can the greatest sportscaster of all time be on this list?

    Well, there's just something a little too melodramatic about his voice. Perhaps it was a product of its time. But it's certainly not a product of the present.

    Plus, there are just so many awful impersonations lurking out there; they stick in your head like a bad boy band song.

7. Darren Lockyer's Unholy Croak

9 of 15

    You've heard the expression "a frog in your throat."

    Well then is that a Conraua goliath nesting in Darren Lockyer's gullet?

    In truth, it's a chipped bone pressing against his vocal cords. It's correctable by surgery, though Lockyer has declined thus far.

6. Stan Van Gundy's Harsh Chirp

10 of 15

    Van Gundy's voice has been described as "always so damn raspy", cracked, soul-hurting and annoying.

    One Twitter user tweeted: "Sounds like he's been breathing in train smoke." 

    If the ages worked out, it'd be easy to believe he were Joan Rivers' and Gilbert Gottfried's love child.

5. Randy Orton's Monotone

11 of 15

    His voice is so dull that he's been dubbed Randy "Boreton."

    Love child of Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Stein?

4. Vickie Guerrero's Nasal Shriek

12 of 15

    Her voice coach? Why Steve Urkel, of course.

    This particular clip has her and "Boreton" together. Watch it and you won't know whether to fall asleep at the keyboard or run from the room in panic.

3. Jelena "You Know" Jankovic

13 of 15

    A few of things going on here:

    1. Prior to the interview, she ate a heaping plate of either sand, lint or tennis ball fuzz and a clump of it stuck in her throat.

    2. She's a low talker.

    3. How much does she think we really know? (By my count she mutters "you know" 29 times in this short clip.)

2. Brook Lopez's Teen Girl Speak

14 of 15

    Aaagh! His high-pitched nasal voice and the way he drags out the last or second-last syllable of every sentence is truly horrendous. 

    "They turn the lights of back HERE...."

    "This is so BO-RING."

    "I'm gonna be like Brady QUINN."

    It's like band camp girl gone "Valley Girl."

1. Suzyn Waldman's Ear-Splitter

15 of 15

    The New York Yankees' color commentator's voice has been called nasally and ear-splitting, grating, screeching, irritating, unbearablemigraine-inducing, like fingernails on a chalkboard and like an air raid siren.

    Writer and radio host Mike Silva dubbed her voice simply the worst in sports

    Listen to a clip...if you dare.