25 People in Sports We All Want to Punch
Few things pull on our heartstrings quite like sports. We watch sports for two reasons: to cheer for the teams/players we love and to jeer the ones we loathe.
This list is dedicated to the former. It's based on one question: "If you could punch one person in sports with no consequences, who would it be?"
Here is a list of the 25 people in sports we all want to punch.
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Mark Cuban: He's a loud, arrogant, obnoxious billionaire. However, his team just won an NBA title. We'll give him a break for now.
Jay Mariotti: Few people liked him on "Around the Horn." Fewer people liked him when they found out he's basically Chris Brown, only with media credentials. However, he's no longer with ESPN or FanHouse. Good riddance.
25: Craig James
Craig James: James has left ESPN to run for Congress. While James' conservative principles may make him popular among Texans, his incompetence as a play by play guy and his role in getting former Texas Tech coach Mike Leech deserve a spot on this list. Goodbye, Craig James. We don't miss you.
24: Tiger Woods
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23: Woody Paige
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Am I the only person who's reminded of presidential candidate Ron Paul when I hear Woody Paige speak?
Both stumble over their words, stutter, and like to argue with people who don't have the same views as them.
The only difference is Ron Paul says things that are fairly intelligent. Woody Paige doesn't.
22: Sean Avery
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I don't know much about hockey, but I do know that Sean Avery is a horrible human being who used racist remarks to agitate opponents.
Whether it's an athlete, actor, musician, gas station attendant or fry cook, using racist remarks usually leads to a desire to punch that person in the face. Sean Avery is no exception.
21: Kris Humphries
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Part of me feels bad for Kris Humphries: He's a solid power forward who plays hard, grabs a ton of rebounds, and can score when needed.
Then I remember his 72-day marriage to Kim Kardashian was allegedly a hoax and that he has the personality of a baked potato.
Since he's more famous off the court than on it, he gets graded on that. For that reason, he deserves to be punched.
20: Philip Rivers
19: Jerry Jones
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He's arrogant, he's overbearing, he unceremoniously fired Tom Landry, he fired Jimmy Johnson after winning a Super Bowl and he used his leverage as team owner to assume the role of General Manager.
Most importantly, he owns the Cowboys. Have you ever NOT wanted to punch someone that was involved with the Cowboys?
18: David Stern
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In the past few months, David Stern's legacy as the best commissioner of the last 25 years took a major hit.
In that time, he oversaw an unnecessary lockout and screwed the Los Angeles Lakers out of acquiring Chris Paul for reasons that none of us really know.
We still love you, Commissioner. However, punishment is needed for your past few months of incompetence. Either step down and hand the reins over to Adam Silver, or get punched.
17: Joe Buck
Joe Buck's smart, well informed and loves sports.
That doesn't excuse how bad he is at doing play by play.
Buck's calm, articulated delivery would be perfect if he called a sport like golf or tennis.
However, Buck is a baseball and football commentator, two sports that feature considerable amounts of drama and excitement.
Take the World Series for example. David Freese's home run in Game 6 was one of sports' most exciting moment in the last year. Buck was calling the game for FOX and barely raised his voice, although paying homage to his father was pretty cool.
Still, show some emotion man. There's a reason people want to punch you and nobody wants to punch Gus Johnson.
16: Tim Tebow
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Most people would rank Tim Tebow #1 on this list. I obviously disagree: By all accounts he's a good guy who loves football.
However, the media's freaky obsession with religious QBs that complete 46.5% of their passes and magically rip off six-game win streaks has boosted Tebow into the spotlight. For that reason, people want to punch him. Repeatedly.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't blame Tebow. I blame Skip Bayless (we'll get to him a little later).
15: Jonathan Papelbon
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Like Philip Rivers, he's extremely arrogant. His most arrogant moment is arguably saying he should close the last All Star Game at Old Yankee Stadium over Mariano Rivera, even though Rivera had much better numbers in 2008.
14: Kobe Bryant
The underbite from the 2009 playoffs certainly made The Black Mamba's face a lot more punchable, but he definitely has the skeletons in his closet that make us want to hit him.
Of course, I'm going to mention his sexual assault case, but more recently, Kobe's divorce is taking up his personal life. Did you know his now ex-wife found out about his infidelities from the show "Basketball Wives"? That's messed up, man.
13: Michael Vick
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Philly fans won't want me to bring this up, but I don't care. If I brought up Kobe's sexual assault case in the last slide, then Vick's dogfighting charge is fair game.
Dogfighting aside, it's pretty easy to dislike Michael Vick. He's overrated as a QB, always gets hurt and plays for the "Dream Team." He also just signed a fat $100,000,000 contract, despite having a career completion percentage of 56% and two more playoff wins as a starting QB than I do.
I'm not saying he should be executed, but a punch to the face would suffice.
12: Colin Cowherd
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Colin Cowherd is like that one kid you went to high school with who refuses to ever admit they're wrong.
Odds are you wanted to punch that kid as well.
11: Tony Romo
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10: Cristiano Ronaldo
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Cristiano Ronaldo, for those of you who don't care about soccer, is a supremely talented winger for Real Madrid. Depending on who you ask, he may be the best player on Earth.
Ronaldo is also the one soccer player who appears on this list, and for good reason. Here's a quote directly from Ronaldo on why he thinks people boo him:
"I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player people are envious of me. I don't have any other explanation."
Sounds like a great guy, right?
9: Bill Belichick
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Bill Belichick is known for three things: his game-day hoodie, winning football games, and Spygate. Two of the three make Belichick one of the most hated men in sports.
Winning and Spygate aren't the only things people hate about Belichick. They hate that he carries himself with a smug attitude and a sense of superiority. They hate that he's given football fans guys like Charlie Weis, Rob Ryan, and Nick Saban.
However, Belichick isn't the AFC East coach who most people want to punch in the face. We'll get to him in a minute.
8: Sidney Crosby
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Like I said earlier, I don't know much about hockey. However, I do know that few people outside of Pittsburgh, PA, are fans of Sydney Crosby.
There are two things I do know about Crosby that would lead me to believe many people want to punch him in the face. One is the website www.CrosbySucks.com, a site devoted to, as you can find out from the name, how much Sydney Crosby sucks.
The other is his goal against Team USA in the gold medal game of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. Come on, dude. A game winning goal against the Columbus Blue Jackets is one thing, but in the gold medal game? Against Team USA? That's a low blow.
7: LeBron James
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You'll be hard pressed to find someone with something bad to say about LeBron James. Supposedly he's like Tebow: a nice guy who loves to play his sport (basketball, for those of you unaware).
However, no matter how nice LeBron is, no matter how many titles he wins with the Heat, he will never be forgiven for The Decision. He will never be forgiven for the Heat Welcome Party. He will never be forgiven for teaming up with his biggest rival instead of looking to beat him.
But the real reason all of us NBA fans want to punch LeBron? We feel cheated out of getting to watch potentially one of the best to ever play the game. Instead, he's accepting the role of second fiddle to Dwyane Wade.
We wanted to see LeBron be Michael Jordan. Instead we're seeing Scottie Pippen. Which is fine, until you remember he was hyped as the next MJ. Then it's just sad.
6: Rex Ryan
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Few people embrace the role of being the "bad guy" quite as well as Rex Ryan.
Ryan's big mouth has put him in plenty of awkward positions, like this weird thing he does where he guarantees the Jets will win the Super Bowl. Or his notorious potty mouth, which was displayed when the Jets were on "Hard Knocks."
One day, Jets fans will realize what fans of every other team has realized: Rex is all bark and no bite.
When that happens, he'll pack his bags and catch the first flight out of LaGuardia Airport with the title of "former Jets coach."
Oh, you might want to check Twitter. Odds are Rex just guaranteed the Jets would win the Super Bowl next year.
5: Coach K
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Duke basketball is a curious thing. It's insanely polarizing: Either you love it, you hate it, or you don't like basketball.
Like Sydney Crosby, there is an entire website devoted to how much Coach K sucks. While it hasn't been updated in a while, the message is clear: Krzyzewski isn't all that popular among non-Dukies.
There are many reasons people would want to punch Coach K, but really you only need to know three: He wins a ton of basketball games, he has a very punchable face and most importantly, he coaches Duke.
What other reasoning do you need?
4: Tom Brady
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Tom Brady is viewed as one of the men that made it basically impossible to ever touch a quarterback without a penalty being assessed.
However, that one incident didn't make Brady one of the NFL's most hated men. He's set several NFL passing records, won three Super Bowls and plays for the #9 man on this list.
He also left Bridget Moynahan right after he impregnated her, and is now married to Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen.
Leaving your pregnant girlfriend for a Brazilian supermodel is a great way to get people hate you, Tom. Mix that with your records on the field, your relationship with Belichick and the rule named after you, and you almost give people reasons to want to punch you.
3: Alex Rodriguez
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To be honest, I'm a Yankees fan, and even I hate Alex Rodriguez.
If he was just the highest paid player in sports, people would want to punch him.
If he just played for the Yankees, people would want to punch him.
If he was just accused of marital infidelity, people would want to punch him.
If he was just accused of taking performance enhancing drugs, people would want to punch him.
A-Rod is all that rolled into one.
And you wonder why people hate this guy?
2: Jerry Sandusky
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Jerry Sandusky very well could be the most hated man in America.
The Penn State scandal has led to the firing of Joe Paterno, a negative perception of the Penn State football program and a permanent black mark on the university.
You have your opinions on what happened. I have my opinions. Everyone you and I know has opinions. But the one thing I think we can all agree on is that this is bigger than Penn State. This is about the sick actions of one sick individual: Jerry Sandusky.
If anything, let's hope that this leads to victims of sexual abuse coming out and exposing the individuals who hurt them.
However, this isn't supposed to be me standing on a soap box; this is about punching people.
Most people can agree Jerry Sandusky deserves to be punched. However, he isn't in the public eye every day. He hasn't been involved with sports on a daily basis since he retired in 1999.
Our #1 guy has...
1: Skip Bayless
I want you to do a little test. Every day for a week, between 10-12 or 12-2, throw on ESPN2. Watch for 30 seconds. As long as the actual show is on and not a commercial, I will guarantee that within those 30 seconds, Skip Bayless will be yelling about something.
Skip calls himself a sports "truth teller." Most people call him "full of crap."
Skip claims all his opinions are 100% authentic, but have you noticed that almost all of them are against the norm?
From his unwavering support of Tim Tebow to his 2012 NFL MVP pick (Brady over Rodgers and Brees), Skip's views that he claims to believe in 100% always seem to be completely unconventional.
Funny how that works out, isn't it?
The website Deadspin did a story on this, essentially coming to the conclusion that Skip is a "hockey goon" whose sole goal is to "start a fight with someone."
Everyone who has ever watched First Take has wanted to punch Skip Bayless at one time or another. The sad thing about him is, he knows this. He knows people like me publish articles saying they want to punch him. In Skip's eyes, this means he's getting publicity, which is all he wants.
Man, I hate that guy.