It was recently announced that Live! with Kelly scheduled an all-sports week of co-hosts to fill in for the retired Regis Philbin as the show continues its search for a permanent replacement.
Dolphins running back Reggie Bush will kick off the week on January 9, and will be followed by NASCAR driver Carl Edwards, broadcaster Boomer Esiason, ESPN college football analyst Jesse Palmer and Olympic speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno.
Boomer Esiason…seriously? Being subjected to him for two hours every Sunday is two hours more than most people prefer. The lineup overall is okay, but it's just okay.
Here's a lineup of co-hosts that would really get people talking.
Magic superstar Dwight Howard would kick off the week.
Howard has a great personality and a natural stage presence. Unlike many athletes, he seems comfortable during interviews and doesn't stumble over his words.
Howard also has a sense of humor and good comic timing—he was great in the "Superman" SportsCenter commercial he did for ESPN and his Charles Barkley impression is spot-on. A Charles Barkley impression is like a Christopher Walken impression; it always kills.
Howard would be a great start to the week because he's willing to be himself, and himself is entertaining but not too controversial.
Following Howard would be University of South Carolina's football coach Steve Spurrier, who might bring a little more unhinged hilarity than Kelly Ripa would be expecting.
In many ways, Steve Spurrier is a lot like Regis Philbin. Much like Philbin, Spurrier is never intimidated, he has the energy of a man half his age, he's not afraid to say what's on his mind, and most of the time he'd probably have no idea what Kelly was talking about during their opening banter segment.
Spurrier would be perfect. Imagine him trying to participate in a cooking segment with Rachel Ray. He'd probably get irritated, walk off stage and tell them to call him when it's time to eat.
Brewers outfielder Nyjer Morgan would host on Wednesday. It's important not to start or end the week with Morgan, in case he does something completely crazy...because he'd probably do something completely crazy.
If he hosts on Monday then you have an entire week of fallout and it ruins the week for the rest of the co-hosts—a full five days of public relations hell. If he hosts on Friday, it wouldn't ruin it for the rest of the co-hosts, but the fallout is ultimately extended by two days.
If he hosts on Wednesday and "Tony Plush" shows up looking for a fight and decides to throw his coffee cup at the unsuspecting audience, that leaves two days of damage control and two days of wholesome and beloved co-hosts to help soften the blow.
There's no better way to put out the fire on the bridge that Nyjer Morgan left burning in his wake than booking the beloved, benign Derek Jeter.
Jeter is handsome, friendly, likable and he's very polite. He'd probably bring gift baskets stocked with snacks, gift cards and Jeet memorabilia for the entire audience.
Plus there's a pretty good chance that his on-again girlfriend Minka Kelly would accompany him to the studio—that sure as hell wouldn't hurt anything.
Jeter would be such a hit, nobody would even remember the lawsuit-inducing appearance of Tony Plush and his bag of crazy from the day before.
Closing out the week with Peyton Manning would be the perfect end to a perfect week.
First of all, he hasn't played football in over a year and he's seriously missed. There might be a lot of great young quarterbacks eager to take his place, but it feels too early to say goodbye to the elder Manning.
Manning isn't just a great football player though, he's actually quite personable and very funny—those MasterCard commercials he used to do were hysterical.
Professional athletes have a long history of bombing on Saturday Night Live, and Manning put them all to (further) shame with his hilarious turn as host of the show. If you haven't seen his United Way sketch, you are seriously missing out.
Alright, I'll kill a snitch! I'm not saying I have, I'm not saying I haven't. You know what i mean [shrugs] Whatever. You're getting on my f---ing nerves.
If he can say that to a group of kids with a straight face, he can host a daytime talk show with Kelly Ripa and knock it out of the park.