WWE Panorama: 7 Reasons to Love the Internet Wrestling Community
WWE is said to be the most hated institution in the pro wrestling world. While the amount of hatred for WWE is enormous, it is not universal. There indeed are millions of people who actually like and appreciate the organisation.
The crown of most hated institution hence belongs somewhere else, and it is not TNA. As I was scratching my tiny brain few days back, I realized it is the Internet Wrestling Community aka the IWC, which owns the precious title.
Now I before I move on to back my amazing discovery, let me explain what the IWC is to the beginners, and in an act of utter lameness, let me quote myself to do it.
For those who are new, Internet Wrestling Community or, as it is fondly called, IWC, is not a bunch of people who wrestle online (though we do). It is rather a bunch of people who know more about wrestling than Vince McMahon (though we don’t). This writer and most of the people reading this article are IWC.
That brings us to the reason behind my claim of IWC being the most hated institution in pro wrestling universe. Vince McMahon despises IWC, and it is because Vince is despicable himself. Each and every member of IWC hates IWC, since we all are open-minded. Eric Bischoff loathes IWC, and that is simply because he is Eric Bischoff. Now, which other thing brings Vince, Eric and all of us on the same page? You tell me.
This discovery hurt me a little bit. I am a proud member of IWC, and hence I decided to bring it upon myself to garner some love for the IWC. With any further ado, let me begin my endeavour.
Disclaimer 1 – This article will see a heavy use of “we.” This “we” for the record includes me, and some similar empty minds that constitute IWC. It does not necessarily include “you”.
Disclaimer 2 – This article is not serious. It is partly humor and partly a parody.
1. A Dynamic Institution
IWC is an extremely dynamic entity.
Its choices and preferences change pretty swiftly over the time. We, as an institution, evolve every day. Today we might like Zack Ryder; however it will not be long before we would absolutely denounce him.
“CM Punk is god” took only 4 months to turn into “CM Punk sold out”. Even by the standards of real world of our times, this shift of paradigm in IWC is scintillating.
The basis of our dynamism is pretty simple and logical. Our standards and expectations are high. We do not like it, if a guy gets pushed beyond limit and actually attains some success. The real fun lies in struggle, which is fruitless and in vain.
We, hence, admire wrestlers who have a little chance to make it. The fact that his or her failure gives us another chance to criticize the wrestling promotion is just the proverbial cherry on the top.
This dynamism is often called “fickle” by some critics. I, however, do not see any reason to take these fossils of sanity seriously.
2. Knowledge: Fundamental Right to Snobbery
Our dynamism is an outcome of the vast knowledge we boast of. May it be history of pro wrestling in Japan, USA or Mexico; we have people who command expertise in it. May it be intricate understanding of different eras of modern pro wrestling, we possess it.
Critics of our existence have often pointed out that such brilliance would not be worth a dime in the real world, however once again, I fail to see the point.
Knowledge, in its all form, is knowledge. It serves the same fundamental function in its every form, which is to be the source of ultimate snobbery.
Snobbery, to the ignorance of many, is sheer delight. The sublime feeling of superiority and privilege of looking down on the rest of the world are divine hallmarks of snobbery.
Our knowledge gives us a right to snobbery which is one of our three fundamental rights. It allows us to look down at people who know less than we do about the business, and at people who are in the business themselves.
Our superiority is reflected in the way we express our feelings such as outrage, protest and disgust.
3. Our Expressions of Doom
Like I said in the earlier slide, the way we express feelings of disgust, outrage and protest are extremely consistent and non-violent to the core.
There are many times when we feel disgusted, for e.g. when Cena wins, Randy Orton is champion, when Triple H main events, and again when Cena wins, Randy Orton is champion, when Triple H main events. However we do not go out of our way.
All we say is as following: “Cena sucks/sux” or “Randy sucks/sux”, “Rock sold out” or “Punk sold out”, “Triple H is overrated” or “Undertaker is overrated.”
See the pattern there, and marvel at our consistency. In three short phrases, we convey an ocean of spite.
It is absolutely understandable that such event cause outrage amongst us. We type “if “he” wins, we riot”, in such cases. Our protest, our way of riot is carried in four vengeful and destructive steps.
- 1. To get off our chair
- 2. Stand up
- 3. Look down at the computer screen
- 4. And give a pitiful sigh
4. Paradox of Predictability and Fundamental Right to Be Disappointed
Similar to John Cena, even we have a superpower. Our superpower lies in our capacity to speculate endlessly and mercilessly.
Take the example of 2.1.12 vignettes; from Vince McMahon to John Cena we have predicted it to be some 112 men and 2 women (Michelle and Stephanie). Now WWE obviously will bring back one of those 112 men. It is freaking predictable, trust me.
We crave for unpredictability, and it leads us to predictions. We predict every possible option. However, that is not an excuse for WWE. Why do they have creative then?
We expect WWE to learn something from Barney Stinson. We expect them to transcend the shackles of possible/impossible and produce the “possimpible.”
It is particularly the failure of WWE that has given us our second fundamental right, the right to be disappointed. We want WWE to do well, and expect them to flounder. If they do well, it takes away our joy of berating them, and if they flounder, they do not do what we want.
Now you tell me, is not just on our part then, to be disappointed?
5. Freedom of Journalistic Expression: The Fundamental Right to Opinions
The members of IWC are amateur journalists or aspirant journalists or remote cousins of journalists. Hence all the privileges of journalism are applicable to us as well.
By the decree of some random god, journalists are free to express their true opinions. The decree allows us to write on the subject we do not know a word about. It gives us every right to criticize things we never understand, and to berate people who actually understand it.
IWC totally enjoys all these privileges and sometimes even take it further. Our range of experts range from “riters” to “wrighters,” just for the sake of clarification, we hate “writers.” We do not subscribe to bourgeoisie notions of grammar and sanity.
The fundamental hallmark of real journalism is our fundamental value, it is pessimism but more on that in the next slide.
6. Prudent Pessimism
We do not like to paint a merry picture of this dull world.
If and when WWE does something good, it is not necessary that they would be consistent at it. Good programming of WWE is more of an occasional bout, rather than some chronic disease.
If CM Punk is on a roll, then we do not waste our precious time in enjoying his run. We rather invest it in exploring the probable bleak future, where every possible thing is capable of going beautifully wrong.
This pessimism is prudent. It is our wisdom, and our ideology. We have learnt over the time that to never succumb to the demonic feelings of hope and optimism.
We have come to know, that the organisation imprisoned in PG ratings and saddled with children, can hardly do anything right.
Children take me to the most amazing feature of our virtual world; they take me to the biggest reason to love us.
7. A World Without Child
Often in a conversation with non-pro wrestling people, when the topic of WWE comes up, what we hear is “you STILL watch WWE?”. Those ignorant fools imply that we are still children, and in doing so they rub salt on our deepest wound. People often forget that we hate children, and everything they might represent.
There are many reasons behind this hatred. Children and their consumption power has led to current state of WWE. They pay for things. In addition they actually enjoy the show. They are fans, simple fans.
Unknowingly, they see and recognize beauty. They can be happy and satisfied. They are innocent, and free of prejudices. They don’t even hold grudges. In short, they are a terrifying menace.
Look at us on the other hand. We do have some kids and even some sane adults in our society, but we do not have a single child. Those hideous concepts of beauty, joy, satisfaction and innocence are a disease.
These viruses destroy the morbid glory of our pessimism. The farther we are from them, the safer we are.
And we absolutely hold grudges; we are not basketballs after all.
I hope to have opened few eyes and won over some minds with my argument in the favor of IWC.
I admit this is not the best work of mine, hence if anyone of my readers is disappointed, then please accept my profound and sincere apology. The whole purpose of this article was to have some fun, so I hope you had some.
Now as always the yard is yours. Kill me there.
Thank you for reading. Wish you a fantastic year of 2012.