If WWE Wrestlers Were English Premier League Football Teams
There isn't much in common between the WWE and the English Premier League.
One involves men in tights throwing each other around a squared ring, whilst the other involves 22 men kicking around a ball of air for 90 minutes.
However, you could compare WWE wrestlers to the Premier League clubs, and this is what I'm going to try to do here.
Manchester United & John Cena
Both Cena and Manchester United are at the top of their respective sports.
The Red Devils are one of the biggest clubs in world football and have won an incredible amount of trophies, whilst Cena has won the WWE Championship a record 10 times.
They may struggle every so often, but the gold will always find its way to them in the end.
Manchester City & CM Punk
You could say that CM Punk has changed the WWE forever.
The same could be said about Man City and football.
The Straight-Edge Saviour's incredible summer promo turned wrestling on its head and since then, Punk has been on the rise to the top.
And at the Etihad Stadium, Sheikh Mansour's millions have helped push Manchester City to the top of the table.
Chelsea & Randy Orton
Chelsea and the Apex Predator will always be there or thereabouts.
In recent months, however, Orton hasn't been as dominant as he once was, and Chelsea too have struggled in the league.
But both competitors are worthy opponents on their day.
Arsenal & Sheamus
The Great White is currently on a excellent winning streak after struggling in the earlier months of the year.
Arsenal, too, have picked up their form of late after suffering a terrible start to the Premier League season.
The Gunners have the firepower to obliterate most teams, as does the Celtic Warrior Sheamus.
Liverpool & the Miz
The Miz and Liverpool were once the top dogs of their sports.
But in recent times, both have found the good times hard to come by.
Miz is still to reach the top of the wrestling ladder and Liverpool aren't quite where they'd like to be, but both are solid competitors who could definitely get back to their rightful places one day.
Spurs & Dolph Ziggler
Spurs and Dolph Ziggler have both always had bags of talent, but this year, the sky is the limit.
Ziggler is enjoying a push like never before, which has seen him gain a WWE Championship match with CM Punk next week, whilst Spurs are challenging for the Premier League title.
Both are capable of putting on an impressive and entertaining show, and both have the ability to capture the gold.
Newcastle & Wade Barrett
The Barrett Barrage continues to roll.
Just like Newcastle's season so far, Manchester-born Barrett has impressed hugely with some dominant displays and it won't be long before he reaches the top of the ladder.
Meanwhile, in England, the Toon are enjoying one of their best seasons ever after several disappointing ones in previous years.
Barrett and Newcastle are ones to watch.
Stoke & the Big Show
The World's Largest Athlete is a formidable wrestler to say the least.
Much like Stoke City, the Big Show is tough to break down, and it's difficult for the opposition to get in any offence.
Stoke's solid form this season has been mostly down to their excellent defence, with monstrous defenders Robert Huth and Ryan Shawcross patrolling the back line.
The Britannia Stadium is always a difficult place to go, and it's rare that any team comes away with the victory.
Norwich & Zack Ryder
Fans love Norwich and Zack Ryder.
Whether you support the Canaries or not, the young side led by Paul Lambert have left an impact on those who have seen them play after some tremendous early-season performances.
Likewise, Long Island Iced Z has gathered a legion of fans with his superb YouTube show Z! True Long Island Story, which has finally culminated in Ryder winning the US Title.
Both will be cheered to the rafters for some time to come.
West Brom & Primo
After years spent languishing in the lower tier of WWE, Primo is enjoying a resurgence of sorts.
Like West Brom, who spent decades wandering the lower reaches of English football, the Puerto Rican wrestler is enjoying his moment in the sun alongside his cousin Epico.
West Bromwich Albion were tipped by some for relegation, but wily manager Roy Hodgson has steered them to a comfortable mid-table spot.
Everton & Drew McIntyre
Come on, I had to get Drew McIntyre in here somewhere.
The Sinister Scotsman and Everton were once in the higher echelons of their sports. McIntyre was the Intercontinental Champion, and Everton had qualified for the lucrative Champions League.
However, the two have fallen on hard times recently.
The Toffees have had a poor season so far and the Chosen One has fallen into obscurity.
Let's hope the two find their feet again soon.
Aston Villa & Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan may be the World Heavyweight Champion, but like Aston Villa, nobody can really take him seriously yet.
Aston Villa's defence have made Alex McLeish's side the laughing stock of the league following some calamitous defensive errors, whilst Bryan's cowardly tactics have failed to legitimise him as a genuine champion.
Both need to work on their tactics if they are to be taken less lightly in future.
Fulham & Alberto Del Rio
Fulham and Del Rio have sunk incredibly low in recent weeks.
The Cottagers were consistently finishing in the top half of the table and even qualifying for European competition, whilst Mexican aristocrat Del Rio won the Royal Rumble and Money in the Bank briefcase, and even the WWE Championship.
But now, Fulham are struggling near the lower end of the table, and it looks as if Del Rio is out of the title picture for the foreseeable future.
However, don't write either off just yet.
Swansea & Kane
An unusual comparison, but bear with me.
Swansea, the Welsh side promoted to the Premier League just a few months ago, have made their presence felt with some solid displays.
In the WWE, Kane has also made his presence felt by attacking John Cena in the past few weeks.
Both are tough opponents and, although the gold may be out of grasp now, you cannot take either lightly.
QPR & the Usos
The similarity between QPR and The Usos is simple: Both have huge amounts of potential and talent, but are yet to capitalise on it.
And they need to do something about it, fast.
The Usos have shown in glimpses what they are capable of in the ring, but haven't held Championship gold yet.
Meanwhile, QPR are struggling near the relegation zone, despite possessing a handful of very talented players.
If something doesn't change, both could be on the way out.
Sunderland & Booker T
Everyone thought Sunderland & Booker T were down and out, but it looks like both are on the way back up.
Sunderland's new boss Martin O'Neill has instilled confidence into the side and have set them on a winning run, whilst Booker has kick-started his career again with a feud with Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes.
It remains to be seen how long both runs will last, but everyone is happy to see them back on their feet.
Wolves & Trent Barreta
Let's be honest, Wolves and Trent Barreta are never going to make huge waves in their respective sports.
Barreta has been used mainly as a jobber during his time in WWE, losing quickly to several high-profile stars and rarely winning a match.
Wolves have also continually struggled, having suffered some heavy losses already this season and sitting near the bottom three positions in the league.
It's a worrying time for both.
Wigan & Yoshi Tastu
Wigan and Yoshi have shown in spurts what they are capable of, but it looks like it's not going to be enough.
The Japanese WWE star hasn't been seen regularly on TV for years, although when he does show up it is almost always in a losing effort.
Roberto Martinez's Wigan have always found Premier League life difficult, and this year looks to be no different as they attempt to stave off relegation.
It might not be long before Wigan and Yoshi disappear from our screens forever.
Bolton & Rey Mysterio
Bolton and Rey are not where they should be.
Owen Coyle's side are sitting in the relegation zone when really, they should be much higher up the league table.
Rey Mysterio is currently injured and hasn't been seen wrestling a match since the summer, when really, if his injury had not occurred, he should be one of the top dogs in the entire company.
Hopefully both will soon make a full recovery.
Blackburn & Tyson Kidd
Tyson Kidd arguably has enough talent to sit comfortably on the mid-card of the WWE.
Blackburn, too, should have enough about them to comfortably avoid relegation from the Premier League.
However, this is not the reality in either case.
Rovers have had one of their worst seasons in living memory and are in big danger of dropping out of the league, whilst Kidd has been featured so infrequently that he is in danger of being released.
Both need to make an impact before it's too late.
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