This just in from Oklahoma.
A source affiliated with the University of Oklahoma's Athletic Department has given us exclusive information that the Sooners football team has been guaranteed a victory in the upcoming BCS Title game scheduled to take place on January 8th.
This announcement, comes just a few days after the Sooners were supposedly going to forfeit the game.
This source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, stated that Oklahoma will definitely win the championship game this year. The result of the game has been pre-determined and the outcome cannot be changed. The source also said that the Sooners must simply show up at the game for the victory to take place.
When asked how this guarantee could be possible, the source said the Sooners had a secret weapon that assured a victory.
When asked a follow-up question as to whether this so-called "secret weapon" was legal, the source simply said there is nothing in the rule book specifically prohibiting it.
The BCS quickly issued an announcement in response to this breaking news out of Oklahoma. BCS spokesman Eric Cartman read from a prepared statement from the BCS headquarters in South Park, Colorado.
Mr. Cartman said, "My fellow Americans, this news coming from the University of Oklahoma is just not cool. I demand they reveal this secret weapon and that they RESPECT MY AUTHORI-TAH! Now, if you will excuse me, my pot pie is ready. I'm going home."
When contacted about the BCS statement demanding they reveal what this secret weapon is, the Oklahoma Sports Information Department responded by saying, "What are you talking about?"
More updates as this story unfolds.
Okay, by anonymous I actually mean the source is me. By affiliated with the University of Oklahoma Athletic Department, I mean, I watch every football game. I also own numerous Sooner articles of clothing, about 20 hats and I have an OU license plate on the front of my car. A portion of each sale went to the athletic department.
And the "secret weapon" is actually the magical, lucky underwear that I have worn during all Sooner victories and will be sporting during the title game. I have a few other lucky clothing articles I also wear, but I am pretty sure it is the underwear that has the magic.
I know you are probably saying that nothing I wear will have any effect on the outcome of the game. I say prove it.
You may say my choice of magical undergarments assuring an OU victory is a silly superstition. I say do not be naive. Of course it does.
You may be thinking what about the Texas game? I was not wearing them for the Texas game.
Why not? Well, there was an accident. Not to go into too many details, let's just say do not eat a Quickie Mart burrito the night before a big game. Or put on your lucky undies first thing in the morning.
Oh, I put them on again after middle linebacker Ryan Reynolds got hurt in the third quarter, but apparently they have to be clean for the magic to work.
Do not worry fellow Sooner fans, they are clean and are stocking up on magic as they sit in my britches drawer waiting for gameday. And I have learned my lesson, no more burritos.
More Breaking News on page 2:
We're going to send you the most entertaining Oklahoma Sooners Football articles, videos, and podcasts from around the web.
18 Comments
Loading more comments...
This comment and all replies have been deleted This comment has been deleted Undo delete