2015 College Football Coaches and Players as Superheroes
In honor of National Superhero Day (April 28), North Carolina's football Twitter account sent out a picture that superimposed football coach Larry Fedora's face onto that of the X-Men's Wolverine. The resemblance is similar, but it's hard to imagine Fedora shares many other of Wolverine's traits like super strength or adamantium claws coming out of his hands.
But the image did get us thinking: What other college football players and coaches would make for good superheroes?
They might not all look like their comic counterparts, but we have some ideas for which notable college football figures fit the roles of someone that you could build a $200 million summer movie around.
Devon Allen as The Flash
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The Flash is the fastest man alive. Devon Allen is simply the fastest man in college football.
The former, a scientist who attained his super speed after being struck by a bolt of lightning, uses his gift to help solve crime and keep the world safe. The latter uses his swiftness to win national titles in track and field and serve as a deep threat for Oregon's football team.
Allen, who we ranked earlier this year as the fastest college football player in the game today, is a world-class hurdler who last year claimed both the NCAA and U.S. titles in the 110-meter race. He then caught 41 passes for 684 yards and seven touchdowns and averaged more than 26 yards on kickoff returns.
Joey Bosa as Thor
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He's not from a faraway land, unless you think Florida is in another universe, and he doesn't descend from royalty. Joey Bosa also doesn't carry an enormous hammer and possess the ability to summon lightning, like Norse god Thor, but his fierce tackling and unrelenting motor when he gets going off the edge of Ohio State's defensive line is about as close as us mere mortals get.
Bosa does possess the long, flowing locks that Thor proudly sports, as well as a personality that wavers back and forth between serious (before and during the play) and silly (his celebratory "shrug" that's become his signature post-play move).
Trevone Boykin as Spider-Man
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Before last season, Trevone Boykin was a player with great promise and ambition, but there was just something missing that was keeping him from greatness. Then all of a sudden he was one of the greatest players in the country, seemingly in the blink of an eye, and instead of someone questioning what his role was with TCU, he was instead leading the Horned Frogs toward a Big 12 co-championship.
So, what was it? It wasn't a radioactive spider, which is what caused mild-mannered photographer Peter Parker to become web-slinging crime-fighter Spider-Man, though the work that co-offensive coordinators Doug Meacham and Sonny Cumbie did to maximize Boykin's athleticism is somewhat similar.
He doesn't swing from building to building and has only been upside down a few times, usually while flipping over a defender en route to a touchdown, but the same kind of physics applies to how Boykin accounted for 354.5 yards per game and 42 total TDs in 2014.
Jim Harbaugh as Batman
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Motivated by the senseless murders of his parents, Bruce Wayne sought revenge on all criminals in Gotham and used his limitless resources to become Batman. The Dark Knight watches over the city, protecting it from evil, doing so in the shadows while still maintaining his image as a successful businessman in public.
Nothing nearly as nefarious prompted Jim Harbaugh to leave the NFL ranks and return to the college game this winter, though in a lot of ways he's just like Batman as he has taken it upon himself to save his backsliding alma mater, Michigan, from the perils of mediocrity.
Harbaugh also doesn't do much of his work in secret—in fact it's just the opposite, as since he's come back to Ann Arbor he's been one of the most public figures in the game. If there's any sort of cloak he might hide behind, it's his computer or mobile phone screen, when he takes to Twitter to call out opposing coaches on issues like satellite camps and oversigning.
Cardale Jones as Superman
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Cardale Jones, like a number of college stars, has his own nickname: 12 Gauge. It's meant to represent both his uniform number and the gun he has for a throwing arm, which is really more like a cannon.
But for the purposes of sticking with the theme here, we're thinking Jones is better described as Superman. Just like the alter ego of unassuming journalist Clark Kent always manages to show up at just the right time to save the day, Jones did just that for Ohio State last year and enabled the Buckeyes to win the national title.
What else would you call coming off the bench, cold, to make the first three starts of your career be a conference championship game, a national semifinal and then the national title contest?
Jones doesn't wear a cape—at least not that we've seen—but he has shown the strength that's as close to lift-a-car level as you'll find in football. He's even talented enough to beat Superman at his own game, though in this case we're referring to a sick 16-year-old diehard OSU fan (whose nickname is Superman) that Jones dominated last winter in a game of NCAA Football 14 on XBox.
LaQuan McGowan as Thing
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Before he became Thing, Ben Grimm was an astronaut and member of the Fantastic Four. Before LaQuan McGowan became the hottest thing in college football since Johnny Football, he was a backup offensive lineman who rarely saw the field for Baylor's high-octane attack.
Both needed transformations to become what they are today, but while Grimm's was the result of being exposed to a cosmic ray storm that turned his skin into thick, orange rock, McGowan's change came thanks to the mad scientist minds of Bears head coach Art Briles and son/offensive coordinator Kendal Briles.
To decide which conversion is more awe-inspiring depends on one's perspective, but odds are the Michigan State defenders who suddenly saw a 6'7", 410-pound man come racing off the line of scrimmage and catch a pass during January's Cotton Bowl were far more scared than if they'd seen a comic book character blurt out "It's clobbering time!"
Les Miles as Iron Man
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If we were doing a list on college football figures who would fit in well in fairy tales, Les Miles as the Mad Hatter would be a slam dunk. It is the quirky LSU coach's nickname, after all.
In the superhero world, though, Miles most closely resembles billionaire industrialist Tony Stark, who in an effort to escape terrorists developed an iron-laden suit of armor that he wore to freedom. Known as Iron Man when in this suit, he's nearly indestructible, and because of his smarmy attitude and wit he's never not pointing this out.
Miles isn't exactly bulletproof, though despite a few below-expectations seasons of late he's still as confident as ever and rarely seems bothered by anything or anyone. He's also quick on his feet, able to deflect blame in the blink of an eye, such as when he ran a red light while being interviewed by ESPN's Kaylee Hartung yet nonchalantly explained that he knew the light was going to change.
Just as long as you never change, Coach.
Shawn Oakman as the Hulk
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At 6'9", he's taller than any other college football player currently in the game. At 270 pounds of chiseled muscle, which has become the source of some great Internet memes, he's got the imposing frame that strikes fear in the hearts of those trying to block him and those he's trying to tackle.
And we're guessing they wouldn't like it if Shawn Oakman is angry, but we do. Because that's when he'd become even more like the Hulk, the alter ego of socially awkward physicist Bruce Banner, who was exposed to gamma rays during an experiment and becomes a massive, green menace whenever Banner gets angry or stressed.
This isn't a statement about Oakman's temper, or even that he has one, but rather that he seems like the kind of player who you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of (or try to get in the way of) on the field.
Bill Snyder as Professor X
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As the oldest active FBS coach in the country, 75-year-old Bill Snyder is at an age when retirement is normally part of the equation after a fulfilling life. But like Professor X, the founder of the ragtag band of mutants known as the X-Men, there's still much work left to be done.
Snyder just completed spring practice ahead of what will be his 24th season at Kansas State. It's a program that was as low as any in the nation when he arrived in Manhattan in 1989, yet he quickly built it into a consistent power that has competed for conference championships and been in the national title conversation at times.
And much like Professor X and his charges, Snyder isn't one that goes out of his way to bring attention to himself and those he's responsible for. If he could have it his way, K-State would operate in relative anonymity, though Snyder would make sure to be wearing his patented windbreaker at all times.
Steve Spurrier as Captain America
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If Steve Spurrier ever decided to hang up his visor and headset to pursue a career in movies, he might be the first choice to portray an older version of war hero/super soldier Captain America. But there are few coaches in college football that symbolize Americana and love of country like the Head Ball Coach, right down to his Southern twang and his fondness for poking fun at his contemporaries.
Maybe he could be start his own franchise—call it Captain 'Merica.
First at Florida and now at South Carolina, Spurrier has developed a reputation as a cocky-yet-self-deprecating soul who just wants to play football and not worry about anything else. Captain America was transformed into the United States' top weapon to fight the Nazis in World War II, but after being frozen in a block of ice for years he was thawed out and suddenly found himself in a more advanced society, while his mind was still in the past.
Eventually, though, Captain America learned to adapt to modern times, similar to how Spurrier recently joined the world of Twitter.
Follow Brian J. Pedersen on Twitter at @realBJP.
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