USC vs. UCLA Football: 11 Reasons the Trojans Are Better

When the editors here at B/R sent me this assignment, which was intended to identify why the Trojans main rival was, errr, "less than great," initially I was in a quandary.

You see, most college football programs have a single major rival.

Michigan has Ohio State, Alabama has Auburn, Cal has Stanford and so on.

Not so with USC.

Unlike most other major college football programs, the Trojans actually have two main rivals and arguments among the USC faithful have been going on for years as to who should reside on the the list as the Trojans top nemesis'.

The reason why fans of the men of Troy have been engaging in this discourse is because both UCLA and Notre Dame bring solid arguments to the table as to why they are the Trojans' main foe.

Both programs have strong reasons to claim that spot, and those arguments will go on long after this slide show fades from memory.

So what's a writer to do?

How do I pick one of these institutions to disparage?

Well, it wasn't as difficult as you might think, but first, I must offer a startling admission.

At the risk of incurring the wrath of my fellow Trojan fans, my choice to lambaste UCLA simply came down to the fans of both schools.

And this is where my Trojan brethren will likely disown me.

I like Notre Dame fans.

They are knowledgeable, sensible, passionate about their team without being too obnoxious and generally are just nice people.

And UCLA fans?

You will have to wait until later in this slide show to see how I feel about them.

So let's get started on the top 11 reasons why UCLA sucks...

No. 11: UCLA Is Usually Better Than the Trojans in Basketball

Let's face it, historically, when it comes to sports, USC is better than UCLA in football, and the reverse is true when it comes to basketball.

Though there have been seasons where USC basketball has risen to and even surpassed Bruin basketball, far too often UCLA has dominated on the hard court.

And then there is the John Wooden legacy.

Even hardened Trojan fans can't muster a harsh word about the "Wizard from Westwood."

Classy all the way, Coach Wooden exemplified the very definition of what a winner was, which galled USC fans all the more.

Surely the best coach in college basketball history belonged in cardinal and gold, right?

Wrong.

And that is part of the reason why UCLA's superiority in the game of basketball opens up this list of why they suck.

No. 10: 13-9

The simple title for this slide says it all.

Ranked second in the nation, the Trojans, en route to what was thought to be an inevitable place in the national title game, were ambushed by an average Bruin team on Dec. 2, 2006.

The year before, USC had demolished the powder blue boys 66-19, and there was no reason for the Trojan faithful to think that this game would end any differently.

After all, the Trojans came into the game with a 10-1 record, while the Bruins stumbled in at 6-5.

It didn't matter.

Behind a stifling defense, the Bruins managed to make life miserable for Trojan quarterback John David Booty and the USC offense.

When Booty's last pass settled into the arms of a Bruin defender on the Trojans last drive, the die was cast.

The Trojans would go on to crush the Michigan Wolverines in the Rose Bowl that year, while the Bruins would resume their mediocrity by losing to Florida State 44-24 in the Emerald Bowl.

But for 60 minutes, UCLA had their way with the Trojans on that brisk afternoon in Pasadena.

And Bruin fans have not let followers of USC forget about it since.

No. 9: The Snobbery That Is Westwood, Ca.

For two institutions that are only separated geographically by a few miles, they might as well be on the opposite sides of the galaxy.

USC is located in a part of the city where Bruin fans fear to go, and Trojans fans revel in their grittiness, borne of smug assertions that they understand the sacrifices needed to be great.

USC fans keep it real, baby.

UCLA fans?

Well, let me tell you a quick story.

One year ago at this time, I was just finishing up a 30 day residential assignment as a faculty advisor for a series of forums that brought high achieving high school scholars from across the nation to Los Angeles to prepare them for admission to medical school.

As an educator, it was one of the most rewarding months of my life.

But the forum was located—I kid you not—at UCLA.

For 30 days I lived in a dormitory not a stones throw from Pauley Pavilion.

So when I speak of pompous Bruin fans, I am speaking from experience.

Now, I readily admit that rocking the cardinal and gold on UCLA's campus was bound to elicit comments from students and fans of the Bruins.

Not that it mattered to me, of course.

Whenever they mocked my sense of fashion, I simply muttered "28-7," and their bluster would be replaced by a red faced flush as they would tell their friends something like, "If he likes USC so much, he should go back to the ghetto."

Pompous? Snobbish?

You be the judge.

But it was 30 days of comments such as these that reserved its place on why the Bruins suck.

No. 8: UCLA Plays Its Home Games at the Rose Bowl

The Bruins have been playing in Pasadena for the last 19 years.

In that time, playing against seasonal opponents, UCLA has amassed a 74-32 record.

Not bad. In fact, there are many teams across the nation that would love to have that home record.

Meanwhile, USC has played in 33 Rose Bowls.

Most of the nation knows this game as "The Granddaddy of Them All," as in being one of the most prestigious bowl games on the planet.

In those games, on one of the grandest of college football's stages, USC has gone 24-9.

Now, I'm no math major, but I am pretty sure USC's winning percentage in the Bruins regular season home against superior competition in what could argued is the grandest of all bowl games is better than UCLA's record against inferior overall opponents.

Is it a case of USC just being superior to UCLA in football?

Of course, but in reality, it is just another reason for the Bruins to be on this list.

No. 7: UCLA Has Become Irrelevant in College Football

For some USC fans, the notion that UCLA has been a pretty bad football team in recent years has been a cause for celebration.

But for me, it sucks.

After all, the joy in beating your rival like a well worn drum should be accompanied by a sense that not only are they your nemesis, but that they are a good football match for the Trojans.

This simply has not been the case in the last decade or so.

Instead, USC has just joined a long line of teams to have their way the warriors from Westwood.

It isn't the Trojans' fault that futility has become a way of life for their crosstown rival.

Nonetheless, it tempers the satisfaction that has come with USC's dominance over the Bruins.

And that is reason enough for inclusion of this slide in this litany of why UCLA sucks

No. 6: UCLA Wasn't Always Irrelevant

On the other hand, there was once a time, not so long ago, when UCLA was a very good squad and owned the Trojans on the gridiron.

In fact, in the 1990's UCLA owned an eight game winning streak against the Trojans of the Larry Smith, John Robinson II and Paul Hackett eras, a forgettable run for USC fans to be sure.

Except Bruin fans wouldn't let us forget it.

Even as the Trojans embarked on their ongoing 11-1 record against UCLA, fans of the men of Troy still have lingering memories of those bleak years in the nineties.

You don't think that is a good reason for Trojan fans to think that UCLA still sucks some 12 years later?

Think again.

No. 5: Recruiting Wars in Southern California

As an avid follower of college football recruiting, I am well aware of the one-sided nature of the USC-UCLA battles for the hearts of prep football talent here in the southland.

For example, while USC's recruiting class of 2010 was generally considered top five nationally, last year's Bruin class was ranked somewhere in the high 40's for excellence.

Moreover, this has been the case for well over a decade. There is no sugar coating it.

USC has simply obliterated the Bruins when it comes to attracting top flight high school talent for a long, long time.

However, that doesn't mean that UCLA isn't out there trying to snag those players that eventually come to USC, or that they don't badmouth the Trojans at the drop of the hat.

They do, and that is yet another reason for Trojan fans to dislike UCLA.

No. 4: Geographical Proximity

When it comes to major reasons for disliking, nay, detesting a rival, it's all about location baby.

And UCLA is uncomfortably close to the Trojans.

Only scant miles separate the two schools, and because of this, what is a natural rivalry anyway takes on new dimensions of distaste for the fanbases of the two programs.

Because of this geographical closeness, Trojan fans can't avoid followers of the Bruins, try as they might.

I mean, they are everywhere.

You find them at the grocery store, gas stations, the work place, no matter how hard they try, USC fans are bound to stumble into some guy decked out in the obnoxious colors of powder blue and gold (more on that later).

And of course, with Trojan fans proudly rocking the cardinal and gold, there is bound to be tension, right?

Add that to the laundry list of why Trojan fans are less than enamored with UCLA.

Can you blame them?

No. 3: Those Powder Blue and Gold Uniforms

I think there was a time in my life when I actually found powder blue to pleasing to my eyes.

Of course, that was sometime before I started eating solid food.

Because, since I have been old enough to know better, I have detested that particular hue.

I'm sure my father, a stalwart follower of the men of Troy had something to do with that.

Not the most politically correct of men, my dad often commented on how "cute" the Bruins looked in their festive garb.

In his not so subtle way, pops would infer that somehow UCLA was "less than manly" dressed up like a bunch of refugees from a Robins nest.

While age has tempered the impact of my dads opinions of the Bruins uniforms, it has no way diminished my contempt of their colors.

So do I really think the color combination of powder blue and gold really sucks?

Damn right I do.

No. 2: Rick Neuheisel

Ahh, what Trojan fan doesn't have an opinion on UCLA's head coach, Rick Neuheisel?

And most, if not all, of those opinions are something less than favorable in terms of what they think of "slick Rick."

From his days as a Bruin quarterback to his being named the head man of UCLA's football team, fans of USC have had to deal with Neuheisel in one form or the other for most of the last 20 years.

As a football player, Neuheisel was often a thorn in the Trojans side.

Not so as the Bruins head coach, though.

In fact, the next Bruin victory over USC with Neuheisel as its head coach will be its first victory over the Trojans with Rick at the helm.

Despite Neuheisel's ineptitude as the Bruins' main man, Trojan fans' distaste for him runs deep.

Yet more fodder for why UCLA...you know...

No. 1: UCLA Fans

As stated in the introductory slide, I have a soft spot for the fans of the Fighting Irish.

Through the years, Notre Dame fans have treated me kindly, even offering to put me up when I traveled to South Bend to watch my beloved Trojans in the big game.

Thoughtful, considerate and respectful of the legendary rivalry, these fans have, at least the vast majority of them, always exemplified what passionate followers of a college football program should be.

The same can't be said for many of those who follow UCLA football.

Smug, arrogant and displaying traits even less desirable, Bruin fans almost always find a way to be annoying in the eyes of USC fans.

Worse yet, many of them are oblivious of the divide between the quality of football between the two schools.

Now, to be fair, UCLA fans will say the same things about USC fans.

And, of course, they are right.

Nonetheless, right or wrong, the discourse between fans of the two football teams is often ugly.

And that is the No. 1 reason why UCLA sucks.

Conclusion

In contemplating why UCLA is not well thought of by Trojan fans, I was struck the abundance of reasons for why this is so.

You would think that a team that shares the same locale as another would at least have the benefits of familiarity on their side.

Not so with the Bruins.

Instead, that familiarity seems to really breed contempt in the eyes of those who follow USC.

Bad blood between the two programs seem to exist on so many levels that it is a wonder how each fan base has managed to avoid bloodshed over the years.

In actuality, there has been blood spilled by both groups of fans over their allegiance to their teams.

Because of these rabid fans, acting in a juvenile manner, the passion of their love for their respective teams has sometimes created ugly scenarios.

Regardless of those unruly fans, both programs detest each other for the most part.

Which probably means the fans of UCLA thinks that USC sucks as well.

Probably?

Definitely.