In a career that has featured as many must-see press conferences as must-see games, South Carolina Gamecocks head coach Steve Spurrier was at it again during Thursday’s Capital One Bowl presser.
This time around, nobody was safe.
Not even his former employer, the Florida Gators, where Spurrier was a coach for 12 years from 1990-2001.
Spurrier: "Somebody told me the Gators are staying home for the holidays, maybe we can get a bunch of Gators to come to our game." #HBC— Capital One Bowl (@CapitalOneBowl) December 12, 2013
The comments come two weeks after the Gators wrapped up an abysmal season at just 4-8. The team dropped each of its final seven games—including a 26-20 shocker to the FCS’ Georgia Southern.
Not only are the four wins the program’s fewest since 1979, but Florida will also miss out on a bowl for the first time since 1990.
However, that wasn’t all.
Spurrier later absorbed a question regarding Gamecocks defensive end Jadeveon Clowney’s recent speeding ticket, via The Associated Press (h/t ESPN), and redirected it at a former foe, Florida State—or “Free Shoes University” as he famously dubbed it:
Spurrier to Bianchi: "I didn't know Jadeveon's car that could go that fast. He doesn't have a pretty car like those FSU guys used to drive."— Heath Cline (@heathradio) December 12, 2013
But why stop there? Especially when another former employee is in a bit of a crisis at the time:
Sandwiched in between his time at Florida and South Carolina, Spurrier spent two seasons in the NFL, coaching the Washington Redskins from 2002-03. He went 12-20 before resigning on Dec. 30, 2003.
Currently, the Redskins are in the midst of a disastrous 3-10 campaign. Current head coach Mike Shanahan seems to be on his way out, according to John Keim of ESPN, and quarterback Robert Griffin III’s performance has caused many to doubt his ability.
But whatever the case, putting Spurrier in front of a microphone can only bring about positive results.
And, as The Indianapolis Star’s Zach Osterman notes, it can also help get us all through those cold winter months:
God I love Steve Spurrier quotes. They keep the winters warm.— ZachOsterman (@ZachOsterman) December 12, 2013
Who needs firewood when you have Spurrier press conferences?
Never change, all mighty Trollmaster. Never change.