In an episode of The Wire, the Baltimore Police Department holds a "policeman's funeral" for a deceased member of the force. This ritual consists of laying the fallen on a pool table in a bar, getting extremely inebriated, and remembering the officer.
Eventually, Sgt. Landsman stands up, and amidst all the chaos, gives a brief eulogy for the deceased:
"This man served 39-years, obtaining the rank of colonel, without leaving a trail of bitterness or betrayal. In this department, that isn’t a career, it’s a miracle."
We can apply Landsman's words to the world of college football coaching. Coaching has become a "what have you done for me lately" industry. Legends such as Bobby Bowden can be shown the door, while others are dismissed amidst scandals and crises. If any coach lasts a long time at a program with no bitterness or betrayal, it's a miracle.
Therefore, we should spend less time discussing those on the "hot seat," and spend more time honoring those who figure to be a fixture of their team's programs for years to come. Let us acknowledge the coaches that fans can get excited about seeing day in, day out, for years and years to come.
There is one caveat to consider. This is a list of coaches who will not be fired by their programs except for the most egregious of errors. That isn't to say that any of these coaches could get "promoted" and leave the program voluntarily.
As you will see, many of these coaches are doing so well, that a sudden move could be in their future. And remember, there are the successful coaches at the successful programs that leave suddenly as well (Urban Meyer).
With that in mind...get used to seeing these faces at these programs for a lonnnnng time. Here are the untouchables.