After a 22-month hiatus from B/R, I am back, droogs. And I come armed with confessions. And fragments.
Confession number one: I started this article on a whim while sitting in my favorite family room chair. After getting caught up in the thrill of a glorious B/R prodigal son return, I have since moved to my dining room table, hence the name of the column.
Confession number two: I didn’t remember my password to login to B/R. And I certainly didn’t realize you had to apply to write around these parts. Back in the days, you could just show up and write. I miss Zander. I wonder if you even know who Zander is. I bet not. Well, he’s the equivalent of Tom Callahan, Callahan Auto Parts. Good news is that after an 11-day review period, I’m approved! (Confession within a confession: Much of this article was used as my sample article for the “application” process.)
Confession number three: I’m an SEC homer.
Confession number four, which is really more of a statement of introduction rather than a confession, but who’s keeping score?: I am now living in Louisville, KY, and have been since late July.
Now that those are out of the way, let’s talk shop. Shop being college football tidbits that interest only me.
I will now hereby begin my new weekly (when I make the time) installment of From the Dining Room Table: A Casual Football Fan’s Version of Acting Like He Knows What He’s Talking About Despite the Fact That His Kids and Job and All The Other Stuff Take Up Too Much Time for Him to Actually Study the Rosters of College Football Teams in America: SEC Version.
LSU will score more touchdowns than Kentucky will have first downs this weekend. UK fans better circle November 5th, the Ole Miss game. That will likely be the Cats’ best chance to avoid going 0-the SEC.
Bye week drama continues in 2011, y’all. You have to feel bad for Tennessee, who not only lost yet again to Florida, but then had an extra week to think about it. To make matters worse, they lost their best player to an ACL injury on the first series of the Florida game and then had to waste the extra week of preparation on getting ready for Buffalo. Something tells me Derek Dooley wouldn’t mind that bye week sometime in the next month, when the Vols line up against Georgia, LSU, Alabama and South Carolina. Yikes.
Fear the karma, Auburn fans. A year ago, you stole games against both Clemson and South Carolina, eking out wins you didn’t deserve. Clemson took back their pride last week, and I expect the Gamecocks to do the same on Saturday. So have fun in Columbia, Tigers! It’s the only city where children of all ages can say “Cock” and get away with it. I looked into my crystal ball and it said Lattimore, Lattimore, Lattimore…
Everyone loves Bama. But an unproven quarterback on the road at night in any SEC stadium is tough. Unfortunately for AJ McCarron, The Swamp isn’t just any old stadium. It will be rowdy down in Gainesville, and methinks that is worth a few points—just enough for the Gators and their perfect kicker (Caleb Sturgis, 11-11 this year) to get away with a slim win in my upset special.
Dan Mullen’s offense started with a bang this year but has been slowed considerably over the last three weeks. The cure? Georgia’s defense. I like yet another shootout in Athens and more heartbreak for Georgia fans—and Mark Richt. While I certainly don’t think Richt will be fired midseason, there is just no way his team could recover after a 2-3 start with the remaining schedule ahead of them. A loss this week makes road trips to Tennessee and improving Vandy look more daunting than usual.
There were a lot of murmurs about how Alabama proved that Arkansas was untested and therefore overrated. First, Alabama has a tendency to make all its opponents look like that, and second, just what has Texas A&M proven this year with wins over SMU and Idaho? I just can’t drink the Mike Sherman Kool-Aid. Hogs win a fun one to watch.
Bonus non-SEC item: Virginia Tech bursts Clemson’s bubble.