Maryland Football Uniforms 2011: New Duds Ensure Every Maryland Win an Ugly One

The Maryland Terrapins took on the Miami Hurricanes on Monday evening. By the end, viewers had witnessed the possible end of Miami’s season—and the certain death of Maryland’s sense of style.

Tuesday morning presented me with a burning question as I woke and wiped sleep from my eyes. Had I really witnessed the travesty that was the Maryland Terrapin uniforms?

Maryland walked onto the field featuring new duds—and they were indeed duds. The wardrobe was like something taken from Alice in Wonderland. The defensive line looked like pawns taken from a chess set and the secondary looked like well-dressed clowns.

The win was impressive on Monday night, but I am worried about the long-term damage that the new uniforms can cause.

My fears are two fold: (1) Maryland loses any amount of swagger on the field and (2) the rest of the NCAA will get some very bad ideas.

1) Swagger:

You can’t dominate a sport without playing well. The same goes for looking good. There is a reason that the San Diego Padres of the 1980s were dreadful.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers couldn’t win a thing with their orange nightmare jerseys. We are still thanking them for switching color schemes and layout.

Maryland now enters the upper echelon of ugliest uniforms of all time. As history tells us, this does not bode well for their win-loss columns.

2) NCAA Fallout:

The NCAA is already flush with teams trying to reinvent themselves with flashy new uniforms. I can deal with a little more panache.

My issue is when the fine line is not only crossed, but also trodden on and destroyed. The Oregon Ducks pushed the envelope with their green-on-black designs with shoulders that looked like tires.

They have ditched all that in favor of wings and I am sure it is not any better.

Now the Arizona State Sun Devils are getting in on the action. I rather enjoy their nixing of the Disney-esque devil in exchange for the pitchforks. I just hope they stop there.

There will surely be more teams to further the cause in team fashion. However, this is not Milan. We are not running a fashion institute, people.

I appreciate the effort, but there is one rule that must be followed.

Simple is better. Maryland completely annihilated my retinas with their on-the-field travesties last night. I will try to forgive them, but they will need to take off the ridiculous outfits though.

This is not the XFL or European Football League. We are not trying to draw the eye with flair. The most important aspect of the game is, well, the game.

So stop trying to amaze us with new color schemes and print patterns. Let’s get back to football. You are starting to scare me.