When Boise State joined the Mountain West Conference, it appears they were required to sell the soul of the football team to do it.
One of the stipulations insisted upon by the MWC was that Boise State be prohibited from wearing blue uniforms during home games. Instantly, two thoughts come to mind.
First, what kind of stupid rule is this and who possibly is mindless enough to insist upon it? Secondly, Boise State actually agreed to this? How incredibly dumb is that?
When the initial shock of the joint stupidity of the MWC and Boise State administration wears off, you find some solace in Boise State head coach Chris Petersen's comments. Petersen told several sources, “I thought it was ridiculous. That's our colors. That's who we are. That's who our fans have wanted us to be since before I've been at Boise State. That's what it's been through and through.”
Apparently, Rocky Long (San Diego State head coach), incessant whining does work.
But all of this talk about the idiotic ban on Boise blue got us thinking. Aren't there other uniforms that should be banned? After all, the MWC has opened Pandora's Box, and since conferences can now begin banning uniforms, let's take a look at a few that should definitely be the first ones to go—and for much better reasons that Rocky Long whines about them...
When you look at Iowa State's uniforms, the first thing that pops into your head isn't football. It's hot dogs. Specifically, hot dog vendors.
There's really only three words that need to be said to sum up these uniforms.
“Trick or treat!”
There's old school, and there's dull. This is the latter.
Nebraska's uniform appears to have been designed in the mid 1970's, and hasn't been updated since. The logo has clearly developed over the years, but the helmet still displays a rather boring sans-serif “N” that's almost lost in a field of white due to the fact that the letter isn't bold, or italicized, or has any type of stylization at all. It's just meekly sitting there.
If Nebraska was shooting for the “old school” look, the shot missed. Badly.
The Ducks have gotten more than their fair share of mocking over the years for their uniforms. But when you put on some of the visually-offending combinations of atrociousness that Oregon has done, you deserve to get mocked.
Enough already. We get it. Your uniform designers are creative (if not a little deranged).
Not only is the uniform purple, it's very purple. And on top of that, it's pretty dull. There's no logo. No stripes on the pants. No piping on the jersey. And just a boring, plain underlined word “Raiders” on the helmet.
It's a really good thing Mt. Union has won 10 national championships since 1993, otherwise they'd really be mocked for their unfortunately colored and overly bland uniforms.
Powder blue isn't necessarily a bad color—if you're painting the nursery for a new born baby boy.
If you're a big-time college football team, on the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of Carolina blue. Fine for basketball, not so much for football.
The only thing that color of orange is good for is creamsicles.
Of course, the way Tennessee has been playing lately, they might be confused with creamsicles. Or is that creampuffs?
There are a couple of complaints about this uniform. First, the color scheme is just bad. Just plain bad. Navy blue on red with yellow piping and white highlights? Wow.
And secondly, can we put the turtle on the helmet already? Maryland's logo is one of the coolest around. Why not put it front and center?
Take the color orange, and plant it firmly in your mind.
Now, pick another color. Any color you can imagine. Combine that color with orange to make a pleasing combination.
It's a safe bet the color you picked to combine with orange was NOT green.
If there's any color that exists in the visual spectrum that should never be combined with orange, it has to be green.
The first time the uniforms were used, it was neat. The second time, it was kind of cool. The third time, ho hum. Now, it's just a bit silly.
Plus, it's not really working any more. Breaking out the lucky green is one thing, but when you keep losing in green, it's time to put them away. For good.
It stands to reason that a really bad football team (having lost to both FCS South Dakota and FCS North Dakota State over the past few years) has a really bad uniform.
Thankfully, this uniform is an alternate, so our eyes aren't assaulted by this hideousness every weekend.
Delaware shows us what happens when you take one of the best uniform designs in the history of uniforms, slightly alter the colors, and throw it back together.
This uniform is like a uniform genetic engineering experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Remember the scene in “Family Guy” where Lois walks in and asked, “Who wants chowder?” Do you remember what happened next?
The colors of Wyoming's uniforms happened, that's what.
(For those of you who aren't “Family Guy” fans, Brian, Peter, and Stewie, who have just shared a bottle of ipecac, spontaneously vomit as a response to Lois's question).