The BCS conferences give the illusion of having the best teams in the college football world.
These teams blow that theory out of the water.
Their inability to win, and their ineptitude both in conference play and outside of their conferences leaves a little something to be desired.
They are just flat bad.
Losing happens, it's expected to happen, and it's normal.
These teams embrace losing as if they are never going to get the opportunity again.
And while many are clamoring for an equal chance at the BCS, these teams have that chance, and fall flat year after year after year.
So here's to you, team that makes my team look good, without you, no BCS conference would be complete.
Listen, Northwestern is definitely improved.
But two seasons of relative success do not wash away decades of atrocious football.
The Wildcats are routinely pummeled within the conference and smacked around out of it.
Their most recent foray into the land of abysmal losses was last season against Wisconsin, when they lost 70-23.
But that wasn't the first time they have been beaten so badly that their fans wanted to wear paper bags.
It happens routinely.
So, while Pat Fitzgerald is a great guy who has his team heading in the right direction, they still have a long way to go before they earn their way off this list.
Kansas has appeared in seven bowl games over the last 30 years.
Four of those were between 2003 and 2008.
When the Mark Mangino/Todd Reesing duo was not in town, these guys stunk it up.
Their level of failure is on par with any in the country.
Now that Kansas State has thrown off the mantle of "Futility U," it may be time for Kansas to take a shot at being the worst football program in BCS history.
Apparently, he's not quite sure what hit him.
As a matter of fact, the Deacs routinely look this way after a football game.
Unfortunately, this guy is just trying to find his way to his own locker.
The Deacons did win the conference title back in 2006, but their only one previous to that was in 1970.
Throw in the fact that their mascot may well be the ugliest thing since Carrot Top, and it just makes them a prime candidate for this list.
Maybe a move to the MAC, C-USA or Sun Belt would make them feel better about themselves.
While this may approach committing college football sacrilege of the worst kind, it needs to be said.
The Bears don't belong.
They have never won the Big 12 title.
They shared a Southwest Conference title in 1994 with a 7-5 record.
And they have lost three of their last four bowl appearances, winning last in 1992.
While none of these by themselves seems like justification for expulsion, when taken as a whole they present a bleak picture.
Add to this the fact that they have a losing record in every one of their major rivalries, and it gets bleaker.
Sorry, Baylor, you don't belong.
MAC, have we got a school for you.
Indiana stands as a bastion of mediocrity within the Big Ten conference.
They have won two conference titles in their history, the last one in 1967, and had the unfortunate luck of being coached by Lee Corso for ten years.
If there is a "whipping boy" in the conference, it's the Hoosiers.
And their ineptitude doesn't stop there.
Indiana has only played in nine bowl games, winning just three.
And the last time they won a bowl game?
That's two decades ago, folks.
Virginia is not really all that bad.
As a matter of fact, they had nine wins as recently as 2007.
The reason for their inclusion on this list of miserable failures is their inability to be more than mediocre.
It's as if they have decided, as a program, that from now until eternity, they will torment fans by winning just enough games to keep things interesting, but never enough to mean anything of significance.
The face of mediocrity resides in Charlottesville, Va.
Iowa State manages to win just enough games to hang around in the Big 12.
But honestly, it's tough to label a team that hasn't won a conference title since before World War I as BCS material.
While the Cyclones have enjoyed moderate success here and there, their bowl record is just 3-3 since 2000.
This sounds pretty good, until you consider the fact that their last bowl game before 2000 was in 1978.
Earth to C-USA: Iowa State is a prime candidate for your mediocre conference.
Basketball should definitely remain the game of choice for the Blue Devils.
At least they have a shot at winning something there.
The football team has not been to a bowl game since 1995, and the last time they won a postseason game was in 1961.
Coach David Cutcliffe is doing his best to drag this program out of the nasty mire of absolute ineptitude, but they are fighting him tooth and nail to stay at the bottom of college football's heap.
Cheer up, Duke fans; you always have lacrosse.
The Knights won the first ever intercollegiate football game back in 1869.
Things have gone downhill since then.
Rutgers won only one game in their conference last season.
This seems insignificant, but when you consider that conference was the inept Big East, it magnifies their inability to win against poor competition.
Since head coach Greg Schiano took over in 2001, the program has gone from atrocious to slightly better than atrocious, but it is hard to justify their place within a BCS conference.
Since 1976, the Commodores have been humiliating themselves on football fields everywhere.
In that time span, they have only two seasons in which they have won more than six games, and a remarkable 22 seasons in which they have won three games or fewer.
Talk about an epic fail.
And what makes their awful play become even more sharply defined is the fact that they do it regularly in the best conference in America.
No other team plays so poorly within the conference.
Of course, it seems the 'Dores beat Mississippi with startling regularity, but that has to be some kind of fluke.