Michigan Football: 10 off the Wall Predictions for 2011

Arrogance is bliss
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With each passing day, the probability of a seamless season in Columbus is fading fast.

Tat-gate, Auto-gate, Tressel-gate and NCAA-gate will all add up to a difficult year for the Buckeyes.  

This, of course, is similar to the past three seasons in Ann Arbor.  The difference is that Michigan’s fortunes are on the rise, while Ohio State’s are sinking fast.

Our crystal ball can see through the conceit in Columbus and the optimism in Ann Arbor. It can see through East Lansing’s delusions that the Spartans are actually ready for prime time.

It chuckles at the Cornhuskers claim that the Big 10 is just one big laughing matter.

No, Michigan probably won’t go undefeated or even be a part of the Big 10’s first championship game.

But the Wolverines will make some noise, and for that, Michigan fans will slowly return to their arrogant ways, something they’re very, very good at.

The next few slides will detail "precisely" what will happen during the 2011 Michigan season, and how that will affect the Big 10 as a whole.     

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Wide Right

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Never has a Michigan field goal kicker been welcomed on campus like Matt Wile.

No dorm room for this freshman. He’s been given the entire north wing of President Coleman’s residence on South U.

He also gets caviar at the training table.

But some things never change.  Michigan was playing San Diego State in a rain-soaked battle where the Wolverines were trying to cover a seven-point spread.

Michigan’s defense had played well, but the offense struggled. Denard Robinson couldn’t find his receivers and Michael Cox was the only back with significant yardage.

With just 49 seconds left and the Wolverines out of options, Wile trotted out on the field, already three-for-three for the day.

A successful 46-yarder would give Wile a perfect afternoon and Michigan a hard-earned 12-10 victory.

The kick had plenty of distance, but it sliced just wide of the upright.  

The Leprechaun

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Like Michigan, Notre Dame is loaded with traditions.

Wherever you look, you'll find shamrocks, leprechauns and miniature Golden Domes.

I'm sure everyone also knows about the marshmallow fights. It's a tradition once reserved for only the senior class. But now most of the student section throws marshmallows at each other during halftime.

During Michigan games, some of the marshmallows (some heated or stuffed with stones) find their way into the Wolverine section.

To make matters worse, a few enterprising Wolverine fans were found with fire extinguishers near the Fighting Irish fans. The ESPN cameras weren't far behind.

In what some called a mild upset, Michigan won the game, 20-17, and a few fans got soaked.

Jeremy Gallon

Jeremy Gallon (10)
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For one reason or another the Wolverines lose quarterbacks when they play Iowa.

This year was no exception, when Devin Gardner injured his throwing shoulder along the Iowa sideline, Michigan was in trouble. Denard Robinson had already departed when his throwing hand collided with a Hawkeye helmet.

That left Jeremy Gallon as the only other "quarterback" who made the trip. Occasionally Gallon plays a little scout-team QB back in Ann Arbor.

In this game, all he did was quiet the Iowa City crowd with a pair of second-half touchdown passes in a 14-10 Michigan win.

Rumor has it that Rich Rodriguez will be back to help tutor Gallon the rest of the way. 

The Car-Gate Solution

Infinium

Things are getting very strange in Columbus. No one within 200 or so miles of Ohio State will sell anyone a car.

The Buckeyes finally found a smart-looking roadster that wouldn't be suspected by the "crack" Columbus cops.

I don't like the color, said one of the Buckeye assistants, but it doesn't use much gas.

Tressel Resigns

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Ohio completed the tat-gate part of its schedule 3-2, losing only to Miami and Michigan State.

Jim Tressel, however, succumbs to the signage throughout The 'Shoe, and turns in his resignation, effective 2019.

The beleaguered Tressel claims he'll be a Buckeye forever, but some believe his future could be very short, especially if Nebraska wins next week.

Former Michigan AD, Bill Martin, reportedly working for the NCAA, was seen in the players' parking lot, inspecting license plates.    

Little Brown Jug

All-Michigan Crew: Apollo15

Michigan and Minnesota play for a trophy known as the Little Brown Jug. 

Back in 1903, Michigan left its water jug behind after playing the Gophers to a 6-6 tie.  Because Michigan normally scored about 60 points a game, the tie was still a huge upset for Minnesota.  

Minnesota decided that Michigan would have to win the jug back. 

That was the case until 1971.  That's when the Wolverines decided to add some publicity to the one sided rivalry.

On July 26, the Little Brown Jug left on a journey that would take it to its final resting place.

"If Minnesota wants it," said one of the three-member Michigan Apollo 15 crew. "They'll have to go get it."

The jug, along with other Michigan memorabilia, is now part of an official Michigan alumni club chapter located on the lunar surface.  

The Alamo

How can you scream at the refs if they're nowhere to be found? The film clip shows the wild game-ending rugby play. Nebraska was the winner on the scoreboard in what was really just another Alamo Bowl.

It's not like the officials screwed up a National Championship game (2001).

So the Cornhuskers leave the Big 12 for the Big 10. They'll most likely be in contention for the conference title. Michigan probably won't, but the November 19 contest will usher in a new phase of the rivalry with a bang.

Watch Matt Wile kick the game winner as time runs out. Nebraska, however,still goes to the title game.   

Will Campbell: Defensive Player of the Year

Will Campbell (Photo: Leon Halip/Getty Images)

He'd been the biggest. Now he's the best.

You can give defensive coordinator Greg Mattison and D-Line coach Jerry Montgomery all the credit for awakening the sleeping giant.

William Campbell had bounced back and forth between offense and defense, but finally found a home at defensive tackle.

He was also effective at the nose when Mike Martin played on the edge.  

The Game

The scoreboard doesn't lie. Michigan came back from a 12-7 first quarter deficit and scored all of its points in the first half.

The Game was played in a blinding snow storm. Both I-94 and US-23 were closed. Some 10,000 fans never made it to The Big House (the crowd was announced at 103,588).

By game time 16 inches had fallen and the temperature hadn't reached 20.

Despite the loss, Ohio State was still on its way to the Big 10 championship game in Indianapolis.

Neither Tressel nor Terrelle Pryor would speak to the media afterwards. While the Buckeye defense played reasonably well, Pryor was harassed into throwing six interceptions.

For Michigan, Stephen Hopkins rushed for 84 yards on 23 carries. Denard Robinson combined for only 174 yards but hit a pair of key third-down passes to John McColgan.

Weather conditions would keep the Buckeyes in Ann Arbor until Monday, at the earliest.     

Inaugural Big Ten Championship Game

Lucas Oil Stadium

Surprisingly, the Buckeyes bounced back from three regular-season losses to upend Nebraska, 28-14.

Terrelle Pryor was the difference as he appeared much more comfortable without snowshoes.

The game, nonetheless, was an exciting one with both coaches receiving unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.

The win sends Ohio State to Pasadena to meet Oregon, while Nebraska will travel to Tampa for a battle with Georgia.

Nebraska won the earlier contest in Columbus, 20-13. 

A sellout crowd of 71,223 saw the first Big 10 title game at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. The game was also interesting away from the action, too.

On more than one occasion, Nebraska Coach, Bo Pelini, had to be restrained from getting to the refs.

It turns out that Nebraska's first venture into the Big 10 conference wasn't in the script. The Nebraska contingent seemed to be frustrated as they left the field.

One of their officials anonymously shouted "homer" as they walked off the neutral field.