Oregon Football: Dreaded Schedule Suggests an Oh and Three November for Ducks!

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Oregon Football: Dreaded Schedule Suggests an Oh and Three November for Ducks!

After a blissful season of championship aspirations fade into the summer sunset at LSU, the threat of next year’s college football season has Oregon Duck knees knocking.

Worse yet, November looms threatening like a big zit on Prom night.

Gone is the swagger of the Duck faithful.  The yammering.  The puffed up chest feathers. 

Replaced with insecurity and fear.

Away games against the University of Washington and Stanford, followed by a near-certain home pummeling at the hands of an angry USC squad.  

Next year by Thanksgiving, the Oregon faithful will be looking forward to a weekend home with Mommy and Daddy. 

Facing the mightiest of the mighty, back to back to back, fought with a depleted and likely injured offensive and defensive line.

Could it get any worse for the Oregon Ducks?

It would be bad enough to face the loathed University of Washington Huskies in an average season of few expectations.  But this year the Ducks are trying to prove they belong with the big boys.

And yet, pressing teams rarely match the hype.

Opening the season at a hostile SEC stadium against a bigger and faster Tiger team renders the 2011 season one of catching up. 

After just one game, hope and expectation will be dashed, replaced with an entire season of lingering disappointment and burning resentment towards anyone who predicted this (like me). 

Especially since Huskyville reports that UCLA cast-off Josh Shirley is far better than expected.  Mr. Shirley spent the spring obliterating line opponents and ripping through holes at ease, giving the Dawgs a defensive presence like they haven’t had since the days of Hoffman and Emtman. 

Such will be the case in November, on the fifth, at a rumbling Husky Stadium.

Oregon running backs will have about as much chance of escaping the grasp of Shirley and the other Husky stud, Alameda Ta’amu, as Justin Beiber would from an American Idol mosh pit.

It will be a scene of ugliness not seen since the Huskies pummeled the Ducks 12 of 13 times from 1974 through 1986.

No wonder the Ducks hate UW, and beginning this year the hostility will reach new depths of dispair. Especially knowing it would take 17 more straight wins to merely even the overall series.

What do you most dread about the game with UW?

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Oh sure the Ducks had their window of opportunity these past few years, as the Huskies visited the recruiting world of Acorn State.  But this is the year the snarling dawgs of Washington, patsies no more, return to their birthright, and return the Ducks to theirs.

Mediocrity.  Wandering the rolling hillsides without pants.  Confused.  Dismayed. 

Producing bitter and angry Duck fans, with memories of last year’s team now but a distant and fading memory.

Debauchery and timidity surely will rule the day, during the dark and rainy days of November in Seattle of freezing cold and a maddening loss. 

And then on to Stanford, with Andrew Luck and a gaggle of NFL scouts, followed by a revenge-motivated Trojan squad with years and years of far better recruits. 

Can it get any worse for the Ducks this November?

And it all starts with the University of Washington.  Mighty men marching onward, swords pointed fro,  over fields and plains and stepping over fallen quivering Ducklings.

Sing it aloud Oregon fans.  “Oh and three, Oh and three!"  

And then there's those detested uniforms.

Year after year the Huskies show up in royal colors of purples and golds, looking dapper and sophisticated without even trying. 

Even when they lose to the Ducks, they look better than the Ducks.

Meanwhile Oregon will do the best they can, working harder at uniform combinations than any other team on the planet while everyone still laughs and shakes their heads. Eyes are rolled, especially when they show up with fluorescent yellow socks like they did last year. How embarrassing.

Almost like a younger brother, jealous over the more athletic and handsome elder.  He with all the hot women, liked by everyone, while the little brother remains home and alone, resembling the nerds on the Big Bang Theory cast.  Even blow-up dolls reject your advances.

Can it get any more obvious, this desperation for acceptance?

And now a year where the Oregon Ducks HAVE to win. If not, all that popping off last year goes to waste.

Against their superiors to the north.  An institution with more storied history, and students that are smarter, better educated and better looking.

Ah yes, such is the case of the waddling Duck fan. 

And such is the case this November when Oregon, proud only several months ago, go zip and three when it all matters starting at the U of W home field with mutated purple guys without shirts. 

Back to the bowels of ho-hum-ness, where nobody notices or cares about you or your team.

Oregon Duck football, 2011.

 

 

 

Read more from the same author!  Oregon vs Auburn Pre-game Coverage http://bleacherreport.com/articles/568863-oregon-vs-auburn-cock-roaches-and-flying-insects-killed-from-espns-pre-game

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