Q&A: Getting the Scoop on the Auburn Tigers

Here at RazorbackExpats, we’ve been looking forward to the Auburn game all season. Not because we’re anticipating a win, but because it gives us a chance to chat with one of the funniest and most talented bloggers out there: Jerry of The Joe Cribbs Car Wash. So, read on to get his wildly entertaining take on Auburn’s season so far, the Tony Franklin soap opera and if Tommy Tuberville would rather have dinner with Nick Saban or Bobby Petrino. (And be sure to click here to see our responses to Jerry’s questions about the Hogs.)

Quick editors’ note: questions were exchanged before Franklin got canned, so, yes, we are aware that he has been booted.

Give us your quick assessment of Auburn’s season so far. Is it safe to assume that things haven’t gone the way fans had hoped or expected?

Uh, yes. Quite, quite safe. Not so much on the defensive side of things, where save for one iffy half against LSU the Tigers have been every bit as good as advertised and then some.

But of course, that only does so much good when you’re working with the worst offense, bar none, I’ve ever seen on the Plains.

The blowout of Louisiana-Monroe was palatable and the comfortable win over Southern Miss may have even been “tasty,” but since then the team has sunk to its lowest levels–again, without question–since 2003.

Especially when contrasted with the Tide’s rocket-ship ride to No. 2 in the country, it’s not the best of times for Auburn fans. In fact, it’s pretty much exactly the opposite.

Obviously the quick scouting report on Auburn this year is defense = scarily good, offense = scarily bad. Take us beyond those stereotypes…what are the Tigers’ strengths and weaknesses that we should watch for?

What’s funny is that I’m not sure you can go too far beyond those stereotypes–the defense honestly doesn’t have a single glaring weakness and likewise there’s nothing this offense as currently constructed does well.

But the Hogs are catching this defense at the right time—the Tigers are way, way banged up, with top corner (and arguably the unit’s best player) “doubtful” in Jarraud Powers and FDA-certified DT monster Sen’Derrick Marks nursing a sore ankle.

Particularly with Powers out, the best way to attack the D is to put multiple wideouts on the field and go after the corners–freshmen Neiko Thorpe and D’Antoine Hood will be terrific a couple of years from now (and Thorpe’s not far off now) but they’re still freshmen.

With Auburn’s offense, who the bloody hell knows at this point, but forcing Auburn’s QBs–the erratic-if-electric Kodi Burns and rag-armed-if-accurate Chris Todd–to throw is very rarely a bad thing.

When we first saw offensive coordinator Tony Franklin at Auburn, he was implementing a new offense practically overnight and leading you guys to 400+ yards in your bowl win. That was certainly an impressive beginning…where have things gone wrong since then?

The specific details vary depending on who you talk to, but there’s not much doubt at this point that whether because Franklin did a bad job of selling his offense to the other offensive assistants–all of which have been with Tubby for ages–or whether they outright rejected it, Franklin and his staff members weren’t on the same page.

The result was the rocky outings over the first few weeks, at which point Tubby stepped in and demanded Auburn install some new sets to try and get some yards on the ground, which only made worse the offense’s lack of focus and deep divisions amongst the staff. This week things came to a head and voila, no more Franklin.

What’s the daily count of flaming bags of dog shit being delivered to Franklin’s doorstep? At this rate, will he be back next year?

Up until his firing, I’m guessing he’d probably maxed out at about 4.7 bags a day, and obviously, that rate was at least somewhere between 2 and 2.5 too many dog-shit bags per day to keep him employed.

What’s been interesting is that between the bizarre timing of Franklin’s firing and the increasing attention paid to the inability and/or outright refusal of Auburn’s staff to work with him, many Auburn fans–maybe even a majority, by this point–have now turned their ire towards Tuberville, blaming him for the blind loyalty to his other assistants and not letting Franklin run things the way he wanted to from the get-go.

Me personally? There’s blood on all their hands, as you don’t have an apocalyptic performance of the kind Auburn showed against Vandy without incompetence across the board.

Would Tommy Tuberville rather have dinner with Bobby Petrino or Nick Saban? How will the history between Petrino and Tuberville (”Jetgate”, etc) affect the game?

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