Dear Jim Tressel...How Do You Like 'Dem Apples?

To: The Ohio State University Athletics Department

From: Ron Johnson, Senior Writer, Bleacher Report

RE: Bourbon Street Beating Incident

Dear Coach Tressel:

Well, it’s déjà vu all over again for you, isn’t it Jim Tressel? It feels like I’ve done a ‘Dem Apples column on you before. It’s almost like the sports gods get a kick out of serving your beloved university an arsenal of quips and wisecracks. But there’s one thing I want to know, coach: How do you like ‘Dem Apples so far?

Yes, here we are again in familiar territory, Jim. The players and stars may have changed, but you still remain a choke artist. Here we were thinking that maybe, just maybe, you learned your lesson from last season’s ending debacle. You remember that scene, right? It was the scene that had members of the Florida Gators football team holding up newspapers that said, “GATORS WIN!!” It was the scene that had Troy Smith slumped over, hanging his head in shame after winning the Heisman and showing that his win was indeed a fluke. It was a limping, injured Ted Ginn, Jr. on crutches as the orange and blue confetti covered Phoenix Cardinal Stadium in Tempe. Yes, those were some good times, weren’t they?

Let’s fast forward to a year later, shall we? Different team. Different opponent. Different outlook. Same result. It turns out that it wasn’t just luck or the wrath of the sports gods working against you. Last night, Todd Boeckman looked like a kid who forgot what a football looked like. Beanie Wells tried to keep pace, but couldn’t keep up with everybody else. Your Buckeyes looked like a pee wee football team that was just happy to be in the situation that you were in last night. Honestly, I feel worse for my brother in Arizona. You remember him, Jim? He was the guy that was in the stands that night that your beloved Ohio State University was set to win another championship. He hadn’t felt lower than knowing that he had to endure a year of me rubbing it in that my Gators beat his Buckeyes not once, but twice in 2007 for the ultimate prize in college sports. Now he has to hear it from my friends, who happen to be LSU fanatics.

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