Illinois Football Preview: Does Illinois Stand A Chance Against Mizzou?

I'll admit that a few weeks ago, I was a little queasy about this game. The Illini are ranked, Mizzou is ranked higher, Mizzou has the SI jinx, and the game last year was tight.

Hell, the Illini haven't beaten Mizzou since '94! As gametime has ticked closer, I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with Mizzou winning this game. Comfortable, but not like my—buddy—thinks—this—chick—is—hot—but—I—know—her—real—name—is—Scott—and—not—Scarlet—even—though—it's—post—op kinda comfortable.

The game is inside the dome, which suits both teams.

"Illannoy" has some speed, and Mizzou has a truck load of it.

Usain Bolt thinks Mizzou is fast.

The neutral field can only favor Mizzou though, especially since the Whining Illini couldn't sell their tickets out. Yoink!

Thanks for the four-pack at face that I got. Some Tiger fans bought the Illini sections in 20's. And it's Gold Rush. Expect a lot of it at the EJ Dome.

Chase Daniel is a year older, and everyone knows about Jeremy Maclin after his breakout game against the Illini last year.

Expect huge days from both.

Chase Coffman is back, along with Jared Perry.

Both were in worse shape than Amy Winehouse after a bender. Coffman had a broken pinkie and Perry a beat up shoulder.

DaNario Alexander is the only player that will not play in St. Louis. The three main receivers (Coffman, Maclin, and Perry) are too tough to cover for the Illini secondary. Chase Daniel will have a big day, as usual.

J. Leman is "no mas" with the Illini; the Illini's starting DT is done for the year, and Vontae Davis is a cheaper Will Moore at safety.

The Illini D-Line is good, but not good enough, especially now that they're missing a starter. They can stop a poor Minnesota team, but can't compete against any real, experienced competition.

Daniel Dufrene is the Illini starting running back. Read that again: Daniel freakin' Dufrene is their starting back.

Rashard Mendenhall was the Illini stud last year, talked smack on the Zook, and is gone.

Even Illini fans aren't sold on Dufrene. Advantage to Mizzou again. Arrelious Benn is a good wideout. Too bad he's the Illini's only option on offense.

Junk Williams will again be running, and will inevitably meet Hardy Ricks helmet again.

Nighty night.

Mizzou fans should root that Junk stays in the game because he's the reason that the Tigers won last year.

Eddie McGee had a good game at the EJ Dome last year, but Zooker doesn't think he's good enough. The Mizzou defense is the best in the Pinkel era, and should carve up the Illini offense like a botched C—section.

The Illini are going to be ok.

Then again, they play in the Big 10 conference, so you'd think they are the third best team in the nation if they finished fourth in that conference.

Bad conference, but it gets pimped by the media.

Deserved? Not a chance.

It's the first game of the season, so both teams are expected to have a few false starts and lame penalties early on.

After the first two drives, Mizzou will start to pull away.

If the Illini are able to score early, they can make it a game. If not, this will get ugly. It will end up being a Mizzou 38-17 win if the Illini don't score early.

If they can, expect it to be within 10 points. Copius amounts of Victory Whiskey will be demolished after the game.

You can hear the game HERE; it is also on ESPN at 7:30p, and HMW breaks off our first football Live Blog starting early in the day. Shawn and I will be down at the Dome getting drunk, doing research for the Live Blog while in the Dome. Shenanigans ensue. I'll see you in Section 445.