So, Boise State is projected to be number one when the BCS standings are released next Sunday.
Are you kidding me? If it were April 1, I'd be rolling on the floor thinking to myself, "Best April Fools Ever!" Sadly, It's October.
Boise State wouldn't win many games if they played NFL caliber teams on a week in, week out basis.
Now, if they played in a conference like the SEC, they would not win a single game.
In fact, we have irrefutable evidence that Boise would go 0-8 in a conference like the SEC.
While Boise State has compiled a deceptive, potentially impressive record in the last decade (112-17) they have only played SEC teams four times.
What happened in those four games?
Boise State lost every single game; most of them by large margins. The average score of those games was 18-40.
These results are even more relevant because none are skewed by Boise State's atrociously unfair homefield advantage because of their outrageously blue field.
Here are the individual game results:
2000: Boise State 31 - Arkansas 38
Don't be fooled. That Arkansas team that won so unimpressively over the pathetic Broncos only ended up going 6-6 and finished ninth in the SEC.
2001: Boise State 13 - South Carolina 31
Honestly, any team that loses to South Carolina by more than two scores should be permanently banned from National Championship consideration. I don't care if it was nine years ago, or 900 years ago. South Carolina has only won four measly bowl games in its history. Don't worry Tide fans, Alabama lost by two scores, not more than two scores. You're still ok (roll Tide, roll!).
2002: Boise State 14 - Arkansas 41
Arkansas atoned for their pathetic performance in their first game against Boise by putting an ole-fashioned SEC whippin' on them Broncos.
2006: Boise State 13 - Georgia 48
Boise State actually came into this season-opener ranked! I know, I can't believe it either.
After those games, Boise wised up. They stopped banging their head against the brick wall known as the SEC. You have to give Boise some credit for what I will call a...strategic retreat.
Honestly, I just need some sanity back in my world. Boise needs to come back down to earth. They shouldn't be any where near the top ten in any major human poll or computer ranking. Regardless, I think we can all agree that Boise State football or any other pathetic Non-AQ team doesn't belong in the same universe as upper tier SEC teams.
This article is a satire.
Remember Utah-Alabama 2008? That's probably what would happen if Boise State played an elite SEC team.