College Football's All-Paris Hilton Team: Week Three Edition

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Week Three of the College Football season has come and passed, and oh what a week it was! This week we saw Michigan State pull out a Fake Field Goal in Overtime to beat Notre Dame, UAB throw a Hail Mary to defeat Troy, and Auburn beat Clemson on an 'Illegal Snap' which dismissed their Field Goal. Week Three showed out to be another great week in the College Football Season for sure.

Well we had our duds and studs and I'm here to bring you the stars of College Football's second week. Though the whole week wasn't pretty, every one of these performances that made this article were. For an Athlete to qualify as a "Paris Hilton" they must be a "Star" who rose to the occasion and separated themselves as the best of the best at their position. So without further adieu here are the "Paris Hiltons" of College Football Week Three.

Quarterbacks

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Paris Hilton

 

Russell Wilson, NC State

26-40 for 330 Yards and Three TD's

The light came on for the NC State Wolfpack Dual-Sport Athlete who also starts at Second Base for the 'Pack. Wilson led his team to a big Non-Conference Win against Cincinnati and Wilson proved to be a headache all game for Bearcats defenders.

 

Honorable Mention

 

Ben Weeden, Oklahoma State

23-32 for 409 Yards and Six TD's

Weeden surely weeded out all the mistakes for the Okie State Offense as he led them to a 65-28 stomping of Tulsa. Weeden is a sleeper in the Big 12 and will be a name to watch in the coming years behind Mike Gundy. However, don't go after Weeden, he's not a man... Just sayin'.

Running Backs

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Paris Hilton

 

Shane Vereen, California

19 Carries for 198 Yards and Three TD's

Vereen was the heartbeat of the Bears' Offense all game long as he continually broke off runs of 20+ yards. The only downside to this was the ineffectiveness of Cal's Defense and Passing Game. However Vereen showed out in a big way against Nevada... He's certainly another Sleeper RB who's name you need to remember.

 

Honorable Mention

 

Bernard Pierce, Temple

26 Carries for 169 Yards and Two TD's 

It brings me great pleasure to give love to Temple and Al Golden for their huge win over Connecticut. Pierce was the workhorse for the Owls and put this team on his back. I always love an underdog, and I love Underdog too, nothing beats an upset and a Vintage Cartoon Character.

Wide Receivers

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Paris Hilton

 

D.J. Woods, Cincinnati

6 Catches for 146 Yards and Two TD's

Woods, while in the loss, dominate the NC State Secondary and had himself a standout game. Do I see the next coming of Wes Welker? Perhaps. Until then, stay classy D.J. Jazzy J.

 

Honorable Mention

 

James Cleveland, Houston

6 Catches for 144 Yards and Two TD's

I don't like to hand out honors to players that lose their game, but Cleveland is a favorite of mine and with the terrible injury of Case Keenum, Cleveland's performance with the #3 Quarterback in Houston speaks volumes to himself as a reliable receiver. Best Wishes to Case as well, kid was a baller.

Offensive Lines

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Paris Hilton

 

Nebraska Offensive Line

Allowed Three Nebraska Players to Rush for 100 Yard

Football is back in Nebraska! Behind an amazing performance by the Nebraska O-Line, Taylor Martinez, Roy Helu Jr., and Rex Burkhead all rushed for over 100 yards on the ground and managed to just obliterate the Washington Defense. This team looks like a legit Darkhorse National Title Contender, remember them folks.

 

Honorable Mention

 

Stanford Offensive Line

Allowed Andrew Luck and Co. to accumulate 532 Total Yards and 10 TD's

The Stanford Kids can play some football, eh? The Cardinal came out strong again and Jim Harbaugh keeps improving his track record with another blowout win in Non-Conference play. The pass-blocking for this team was phenomenal and this was a great overall game for Stanford.

Defensive Front Seven

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Paris Hilton

 

Arizona Defensive Front Seven

Defensive Line Holding the Iowa Offense

This game reached a new level with the "Red-Out" at Arizona and the game was such a back and forth battle, just a great game to watch. However when the game was on the line, when Iowa was trying to drive down the field to tie the game and send it to Overtime the Wildcats came up with a huge stand. Arizona sacked Iowa QB Ricky Stanzi FOUR straight plays and turned them over on downs to end the game. It was one of those moments where the stars just aligned. Oh and by the way, Arizona proves they're for real.

 

Honorable Mention

 

Georgia Defensive Front Seven

Held the Arkansas Rushing Attack to 50 Yards

An overlooked solid performance by the Bulldogs as they completely obliterated the Arkansas Rushing Attack and put the game on Ryan Mallet's shoulders. Sadly for Georgia, Mallet was on fire and picked the Georgia Secondary apart. Give it time Bulldog fans, Richt will get it together, just give him some time.

Secondary

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Paris Hilton

 

Texas Secondary

Held Texas Tech and Taylor Potts to 150 Yards Passing and No TD's

Ok, so I get it. Texas Tech is down, but they're still a huge passing team, and they still have Tommy Tuberville, and they still have Taylor Potts at QB. All of these make Texas' shutdown of Tech's Offense that much more impressive.

 

Honorable Mention

 

Air Force Secondary

Held the Oklahoma Offense in Check and almost pulled of an Upset

While many wouldn't qualify this, I see what Air Force did behind Troy Calhoun and I think they did a solid job of holding a potent Oklahoma Offense in check. This is one of those overlooked cases, but I'll still give credit where it is due. Solid game out there Falcons.

Kickers and Punters

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Paris Hilton

 

Josh Jasper, LSU

5-5 on FG's ranging from 31-50 Yards 

Jasper's Stock is Smokin' Hot in the ESPN College Fantasy Football Leagues after his huge performance against Mississippi State this past weekend. Note to self: Kickers in Baton Rouge tend to do very well (see: David, Colt).

 

Honorable Mention

 

Kyle Martens, Rice

19 Punts for 911 Yards (47.95-yard average)

Now this may not be an individual performance, but I have to give it up to this kid. Martens is playing on one of the worst teams in College Football and still is out producing, landing himself as one of the best Punters in America. Even former Michigan transfer, Sam McGuffie, hasn't sparked the Offense... Tough days in Rice folks.