BEATNG YOUNGSTOWN STATE MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG AGAIN
Welcome to week two of the Bleacher Report cupcake sweepstakes, where we present the biggest cupcakes by conference each week, with the conference with the biggest blow outs tallied up at year end getting the coveted “Golden Éclair” award.
But first, let review last week’s tasty bakery items and the first weeks standings:
#10 Independents: Army 31 Eastern Michigan 27. Not much of a blow out here, but then Army sucks.
#9 Big East: West Virginia 31 Coastal Carolina 0. A shut out, but only 31 points? C’mon guys.
#8 Big Ten: Penn State 44 Youngtown State 14. Can’t believe they let em’ in the end zone twice.
#7 WAC: Idaho 45 North Dakota 0. Vandals show that all of the WAC teams located in Idaho are bullies.
#6 Mountain West: Air Force 65 Northwestern State 21. 65 points with a lousy passing game. Ouch.
#5 Big 12: Texas A&M 48 Stephen F. Austin 7. Whup, gig em
#4 SEC: Arkansas 44 Tennessee Tech 3. Hogs don’t even break a sweat.
#3 Conference USA: Houston 66 Texas State 28. Cougar defense still gives it up, however.
#2 Pac 10: California 52 UC Davis 3. UC Davis not smart enough to stay home.
#1 ACC: Florida State 59 Samford 6. Why do they even play games like this?
The ACC heads into week two with the lead, but the Pac 10 and mid major Conference USA are in close pursuit. Here are this week’s cream puffs.
LET's HAVE SOME SOUTHERN FIRED EAGLES FOR LUNCH
Navy has a ton of guys back from a ten win season and looked primed for another campaign.
Whoops. A 17-14 overtime loss to a Maryland team they were expected to beat sure has to hurt.
The recipient of their anger will be the Georgia Southern Eagles. The Eagles, however, are a top 20 FCS program, and will probably play the Middies tough, so I don’t expect to see a huge blow out here…just 15 points or so.
WERE FLIPPIN' OVER PRAIRIE A&M
Southern Miss got pecked on by those pesky Cocks in South Carolina, losing 41-13 in week two. They are in for a reprieve in week two, taking on the Prairie View A&M Panthers.
The Panthers are no longer losing games in 20 and 30 in a row stretches, but also will not be mixed up with a powerhouse anytime soon and are at FCS level.
Now, if I’m Southern Miss, playing in a so called mid-major, shouldn’t I be scheduling quality opposition to raise the profile of my program rather than easy cheesecake?
Oh yeah, that’s right…41-13 loss…been there, done that, didn’t like the movie.
CHEEZEEE...EVEN THEIR MASCOT IS A CREAMPUFF
Minnesota’s sure starting off tough this year.
After taking on mighty Middle Tennessee State University in game one, they now move down to FCS and get the South Dakota State Jackrabbits.
Wonder if they raised their ticket prices this year, given the stellar level of competition they have been lining up?
TIME FOR YER HAZIN' BOYS
Arizona is another school that just believes in scheduling quality.
They went up to Ohio and, holy Toledo beat those Toledo boys 41-2.
Now they have FCS The Citadel at home. Yep, the same school infamous for its rituals, military culture and nutty kooky hazing…I wonder if playing Arizona away was just some big ol’ hazing ritual for the football team that some crazy upperclassman dreamed up.
Sir, yes sir.
IT'S PAYBACK TIME FOR THE GEM STATE
Utah State went to Norman, Oklahoma last week and hung in against the Sooners, losing 31-24.
This week they get the FCS Idaho State Bengals. The Bengals won their first game this year against Montana Western…which equals their win total from 2009 when they managed to go 1-11.
Expect to see the Aggies of Utah State hand at least a 30 point blowout on them. It's about time that they get to beat a team from Idaho.
I MAY BE A GEEK BUT, HEY, MY TEAM'S A WINNER
SEC fans are always proud of how rough and tough their conference is. This was underscored last week when Ole Miss dropped a game to FCS Jacksonville State.
This week we’ve got Florida, who never, ever, ever ever plays an out of conference game away from home other than their rivalry game against Florida State (and the state legislature pretty much had to hold a gun against their head to get them to do that).
They are taking on the University of South Florida at the swamp. Sends chills up your spine just thinking about it.
While Miami ventures up to play Ohio State, Florida takes on mighty South Florida.
What a great game. Not.
I WANNA BEAT NEW HAMPSHIRE BAD
Pitt got upended by Mountain West turn coat Utah 27-24 in overtime last week, dropping out of the top twenty five.
Pity poor New Hampshire who, while a decent FCS program, will not be able to keep up with a ticked off Panther team.
Check that…New Hampshire beat up on Central Connecticut, who just recently moved up from Division 2, by a score of 33-3 last week.
So I guess they’ll get to see how it feel to be on the other side of the can o’ whup ass this week.
A PASSIN' FANCY
Missouri grabbed a 23-13 win over Big Ten Illinois last week, and decided to take a week off to heal up.
They are taking on McNeese State.
The McNeese State Cowboys, who won their first contest over FCS foe Lamar by 30 -27. Mizzou, with 18 returning starters from last year, should put the wood on them for a spread of 40 or more.
TIME FOR SOME STAT PADDING
TCU grabbed a 30 to 22 win over a top twenty five Oregon State team to start the season.
They were originally scheduled to play Texas Tech in Lubbock in week two, but Tommy Tubs cited ‘scheduling conflicts”.
OK, so you schedule a game four years in advance, and then all of the sudden have a conflict? Sounds more like “gosh, they have a top ten team and they are going to kick our butts" conflict from here.
So the Frogs, who could of and should have scheduled a BCS level team, instead are taking on Tennessee Tech at home. Tech, were a sub .500 team in FCS last year and blown out in a week one cupcake special, 44 to 3, by Arkansas.
Expect more of the same.
WE'RE PRAYIN' FOR YA PRESBY
Clemson started out with a 35-10 pounding over Sun Belt conference North Texas, moves on to a main course of the vaunted Presbyterian Blue Hose.
Presby who had a 0-11 season in FCS last year, started out by getting the snot kicked out of them by a lousy BCS Wake Forrest team 53-13.
Welcome to Death Valley.
If Clemson puts their mind to it, they could easily score 100. Expect to see their third string in the game by the third quarter.
They should be ashamed to charge their season ticket holders and others ticket buyers full price for this thing. Shame, however, is not an emotion that is seen much around big time college athletic director and head coaching offices.