It’s undeniable. The Pac-10 IS the cream of college football…and we in the SEC know it. At least those of us who aren’t so drunk and delusional that we think we’re the best and that our sisters are just the ‘purtiest’ little ole things we’ve ever laid our eyes on. And, by extension, since USC is the best team in the PAC-10, well, it’s clear to see that they’re the best football team in the country, indeed the world. Ever!
And, of course, you know, that’s right, that makes Pete Carroll the greatest, most brilliant head coach in the history of the game. You know, he may even be the most supreme being to have ever graced the soil of this wonderful world. Why, I recently read that “Big Balls Pete” once fed a small village with two small fish and a loaf of bread. The writer was, however, quickly reminded that, no, that was Jesus…Pete Carroll’s son.
Further evidence of the PAC-10’s supremacy is the fact that teams like Stanford and Oregon prevailed against the mighty Trojans last year, and that they barely got out of Washington alive, which, proves the quality and depth of the conference as a whole. Shoot, even Arizona gave ‘em a run for their money…in the Coliseum, no less! What more proof do we need? What have we been thinking?
We in the SEC should just be grateful that these mighty masters of surf, sun and drive-bys take the time out of their important lives to engage in our silly little game so that our ego’s don’t become over inflated, to keep us humble. We should better just say, “Thank you” and go back to swilling booze and burning crosses, ‘cause that’s what we in the south do best. Hey, at least we’re better than those guys at something, right?
So take heart, fellow SEC’ers. It’s not all doom and gloom. We have our left coast brethren with their generosity of spirit to look out for us. How dreadful it would be if we were somehow deprived of the PAC-10’s elite example and we were left alone to wrestle with our own feelings of inadequacy merely masking them with bravado and braggadocio. We are truly blessed, indeed.
I’m just sayin’…
Ah crap, what am I talking about. The SEC ROCKS!!! And the HACK-10 SUCKS! It’ll be fun to watch whichever SEC team goes to the BCS MNC game next January clobber USC or tOSU, whichever one doesn’t lose on 9/13. Except, of course, as long as that SEC representative isn’t f#&*!$% Alabama. Gosh, I hate that team. LOL! Nah, I’d still root for ‘em. Why, you ask? ‘Cause they’re SEC! What were yooou thinking?
Geeaaauuuux Tigahs!!!
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