So Texas A&M Wants the SEC? So Long Aggy, Nice Knowing You (I Guess)

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So Texas A&M Wants the SEC? So Long Aggy, Nice Knowing You (I Guess)
Aaron M. Sprecher/Getty Images

There's a reason it's called an upset whenever Texas A&M beats Texas.

We're a better school in terms of athletics, academics and national perception. This may be dismissed as a case of "Longhorn arrogance," but it's a fact, and it absolutely drives Texas A&M crazy.

With talks of conference expansion running rampant, and the Aggies are now whooping loudly that they want to go to the SEC.

Haha, good luck!

It's like an immature child packing up all of his toys in his backpack and pretending to run away from home because he's mad at his parents. Naturally, on the way out the door he keeps staring over his shoulder to see if they'll come running after him.

Being a student at UT, from an anthropological perspective, Texas A&M is utterly fascinating. They have more bizarre traditions than undergraduate course listings, they spend their Friday nights yelling at nothing in anticipation of losing on Saturday afternoon, and if you try to run on their field, they'll attack you with swords. While the town motto in Austin is "Keep Austin Weird," the slogan for College Station may as well be "Drink the mysterious Kool-Aid." They insist that a move to the SEC would be in keeping with what they like to call a "culture," but I assure you, there's no culture on this planet that's quite in line with what they have in College Station.

Through some loop of logic, they believe that them moving to the SEC will devastate the University of Texas' athletic program.

UT has won at least 10 games every season over the course of the last 9 years. A&M hasn't had a 10 win season since 1998.

Texas finished tops in the nation in revenue in 2009, making $120.3 million. A&M has been operating at a deficit over the course of the last several years.

We're doing just fine. You're trying your damndest to have your games shown on TV.

If there's a rivalry that the Longhorns must maintain from a fiscal perspective, it's with the school north of the Red River.

Despite the fact that A&M hasn't been competitive in the Big 12 in over a decade, they think a move to the SEC would be advantageous for their program.

Really?

A&M played two mid-level SEC teams in Georgia and Arkansas last season. Neither of those teams finished better than .500 in the SEC, and they beat the Aggies by a combined 52 points at neutral sites.

As it is, A&M's current 2011 class doesn't contain a single player in the Rivals250. Now you think moving to the SEC and consequently opening up the recruiting floodgates in Texas to the likes of Alabama and Florida is going to help your case? And you thought recruiting against Oklahoma and Texas was tough.

In order to turn things around Texas A&M needs to win football games, and that just flat isn't going to happen in the toughest conference in College Football.

But if you're going to be the cellar-dweller in the conference, I suppose the SEC is as good of a place as any.

Besides, with most Aggies unable to even properly spell UT, they'll fit right in with the SEC from an academics perspective.

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