Clemson Sports: News and Recommendations

NEWS

- RAPE!...AND SODOMY!...IN GEORGIA OF ALL PLACES!

Things have been desperate on their campus for so long that someone finally snapped over at Georgia Tech.  Paul Johnson suspended Jerrard Tarrant from the team indefinitely.

Kind of interesting that we're kind of going through the same situation, though this one seems pretty legit.  Tarrant was contending for a starting cornerback position as a redshirt freshman coming out of spring ball.

- Four players (Spiller, Davis, Harper, and Kelly) have been named to the Maxwell watch list.  Clemson joins Southern Cal and Oklahoma as the top schools with candidates on the list, each having four.  Ricky Sapp and Michael Hamlin have been named to the Bednarik preseason list as well.

- All but two Clemson freshman signees have made it to campus and enrolled in a second summer session.  The two men down are Xavier Brewer, who still needs to take a summer class back home; and Jarrett Crittenton, who didn't meet our standards and was released from his LOI.  He has signed with Memphis.

- Kyle Parker was named to the Freshman All-American team for being a stud with a bat.  Now if only he could figure out that whole defense thing, we'd be great.  I'm still predicting he never plays a down of football for Clemson.

- The DeAndre McDaniel plot thickens as the woman who filed the charges against him was identified as Ms. Abra Weeks.  Good thing that we're not UGA or USC or the like, because her getting killed by psychotic fans right now would not help DeAndre at all.  Bowden plays it smart and remains mum on the situation.

- Graduate Assistant Michael Morrell has been hired on as the new director of men's basketball, replacing Josh Posterino, who replaced Shaka Smart, who accepted a job at Florida.

Here's a rundown: Morrell -> Director of Men's Basketball; Posterino -> Assistant Coach; Shaka -> Gonzo to Florida; Clemson Women's Basketball -> Could still get beat by any girls' JV high school team in the upstate.

- The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers tells the residents of Orlando, "Just chill out man, it's not a big deal.  Don't worry about it..." regarding bombs that they may miss during a cleanup of a one-time bombing range from WWII turned local neighborhood.

RECOMMENDATIONS  DFIG Recommends: Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka—we're not big fans of the Firefly Muscadine Vodka.  Terrible.  We wouldn't recommend that to anyone.

We do, however, promote the sweet nectar that they bottle named Sweet Tea Vodka.  We've never tasted a better liquor drink in our lives.  Here's essentially all you need to do:

- Fill one glass with your preference of cubed ice.

- Fill glass 3/4 full of Firefly Sweet Vodka.

- Fill rest with Minute Maid lemonade.

BEST.  DRINK.  EVER.