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In honor of Georgia RB Knowshon Moreno, I decided to compile a list of the most ingeniously-crafted names in college football. You couldn’t even imagine how many gems I came across...

The Best Names in College Football

by David Williams (Columnist)

35

14,475 reads

Sports

October 31, 2007

Knowshon Moreno

Icon Sports MediaIn honor of Georgia RB Knowshon Moreno, I decided to compile a list of the most ingeniously-crafted names in college football.

                

You couldn’t even imagine how many gems I came across. Let’s just hope these players don’t Google themselves and run into this post. 

                     

To those of you on the list—I kid because I love. You’re all awesome football players.

 

I’d rather not have LeQuantum McDonald threatening to eat me.

   

And a note to parents: Try not to be drunk in the delivery room next time!

         

Now, onto the names...

 

 

It’s Their Last Name, They Couldn’t Help It! 

 

Tez Doolittle, Auburn

 

Keith Toogood, Texas Tech – “Man, I’m too good to play quarterback; I’d rather be a kicker.”

 

Ryan Allgood, Oklahoma

 

Nick Bigrigg, Kent State – Unfortunately, his career path seems to already be chosen for him.

 

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35 comments Last one added 7 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Edward Angiuoli about 1 year ago

    J stands for Jeremy, as it turns out. God knows as to why he ditched the -eremy part.
    and in the long names section, how about Michael Hoowanamuni, Illinois Tight End.

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  2. Jared Reback about 1 year ago

    Another one from Wake Forest is DE Boo Robinson, which is pretty cool on its own. His give name, however, is Shaunteryous Robinson. You can have your own fun with pronouncing that one.

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  3. Jared Reback about 1 year ago

    Oh yeah, David you gotta had John David Booty from Bama with the other Southern names

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  4. Smith J. Howard about 1 year ago

    David, I laughed several times. This is good stuff. Here's a few that I know of to add to the list:

    Prince Hall -Alabama LB
    Eltoro Freeman - committed to Auburn(currently plays at juco)...eltoro means "the bull" in spanish.
    Major Wright - Florida
    Omar Haugabook - Troy
    Ryan Shoemaker - Punter for Auburn
    Will Hill - current commit to Florida (New Jersey's Saint Peter's Prep)

    Also, if you read the book "Freakanomics", there is a story mentioned about a father naming one of his sons "Winner". His next son he named "Loser". No joke.

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  5. Michael Rice about 1 year ago

    Best article ever? Nice work. I also had a few good laughs over this. Thanks.

    I was expecting to see SC's Chris Smelley in the "No Need for Words" section. (Not to be too immature, but it makes me wonder if he has a sister that can marry Jerrod Gooch and use the hyphenation.)

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  6. Bryan McConnahea about 1 year ago

    One word.. Sackrider --I don't think it gets any worse than that. Real enjoyable article, David. LOL.

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  7. Tristan Holmes about 1 year ago

    We all seem to be forgetting about Colt McCoy, which, as my friend Dave put it "Sounds like the name of the Texas quarterback in a Will Farrell movie." Seriously, with a moniker like that he had two realistic career choices, quarterback or sheriff.

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  8. Leon Wynn about 1 year ago

    Great article and great comments.

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  9. David Williams about 1 year ago

    I can't believe I forgot Chris Smelley. Chris Smelley, the one and only Smelley (Game)Cock.
    -His SC teammate Captain Munnerlyn would be fitting if he were in fact the captain.
    -Who could forget other SC teammates: Casper Brinkley, Michael McQueeney & Foxy Foxworth?
    -Ryan Shoemaker definitely fits in as a punter
    -Eltoro is a GREAT name. I need to meet this guy

    If I find some more names I'll post them. My favorite is I-Perfection but now I'm thinking about Sackrider or Co-Eric. I mean he's not even his own Eric - he has to share it with someone else!

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    • Smith J. Howard about 1 year ago

      I played high school ball with Eltoro "the bull". He's a pretty ripped dude - scary in fact. Tuberville mentioned him last spring as one of the true freshman that could impact Auburn's team this year.

      If he can work on his academics at this juco, you'll see him on the plains in Auburn - don't worry. I just love the name though...Eltoro. If that name doesn't strike fear into you...I don't know what does. It's almost like it's a built-in nickname, especially for a linebacker.

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    • Zander Freund about 1 year ago

      Chris Smelley is indeed a great one that I was wondering about. Seriously though, you pretty much got them all!

      Nice work David...haven't laughed so hard at an article in quite some time.

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  10. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    why isnt my main man Wondy Pierre-Louis on this list he plays for florida by the way

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  11. Erick Blasco about 1 year ago

    This article and its comments are full of win!

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  12. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    UGA also has royalty, Prince Miller.

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  13. Marc Lowenstein about 1 year ago

    You missed a fine one for both the Royal and Parents Having Fun categories -- Prince Moody from Wisconsin.

    Chris Smelley is one obvious omission, but what about Casey Dick? Have you forgotten about Dick? Is Dick beneath you somehow? I demand that you put that Dick in there immediately, I don't care about any Smelley-ness.

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    • David Williams about 1 year ago

      I actually had a whole list of people like Casey Dick but I decided to omit them. Casey Dick, teammate Robert Johnson, GT fullback Mike Cox, Georgia backup qb Joe Cox (there were a few others, I think)

      There are a bunch of Princes. Seems to be catching on. That must be the sure-fire way to attain royalty in the US. They say you must be born into royalty...well isn't naming your son Prince getting that desired effect?

      Windham Rotunda from Troy is now in my 5.

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    • Tim WIlliamson 7 months ago

      And how many people have "C. Dick" on their jersey?

      C. Dick.
      C. Dick run.
      Run Dick run.

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  14. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Great article!

    I think you overlooked some of the players in the Sunbelt, though.

    How about Florida International? They have a RB named Chance Attaway, a WR named Ashlyn Parker, and a DL named Mike Tyson (no chip on that shoulder, I'm sure).

    Florida Atlantic has a kicker named Logan Chipperfield. (a stretch maybe?)

    Louisiana-Lafayette has a G named Bobby Fails.

    There's also Arkansas State DE Rob Ramage.

    My favorite, though, might be Troy OL Windham Rotunda. Is this guy a person, a place, or a thing?

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  15. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    In the "name says it all" category, I submit Marshall WR Darius Passmore and Fresno St. DE Tyler Clutts (son, you're playing defense).

    In the "my baby's gonna be a great football player" category, I like Syracuse WR Rice Moss (don't tell me -- his middle name is Harrison).

    In the "playing for the wrong school" categorey, there's Idaho RB Princeton McCarty.

    For pure ass-kicking last names, I'd suggest Baylor G Sam Sledge. He helps make up for his teammates Dan Gay (G) and Jason Lamb (DE).

    Ball State has a WR named Wade Overton, who is listed at 208 lbs but his name sounds like he used to be heavier.

    San Jose St. has a freshman kicker named Shaheen Pourfallah who is destined to miss a few game-winners.

    And you can see what Louisiana Tech was going for when they recruited QB Zac Champion, OL Corbin Best, and OL Greg Greathouse, but can someone explain LB Dusty Rust? Sounds like a walk-on.

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    • Smith J. Howard about 1 year ago

      Rice Moss...that's good...especially for a WR. Not sure how old he is, but the "Moss" has to be coincidence...Randy Moss wasn't really all that well known until he got drafted in '98 (at that's a stretch to say he was a great reciever before he even put on the vikings jersey). I'm pretty sure Rice Moss isn't 9 years old.

      Of the ones you mentioned anonymous, I really like Shaheen Pourfallah. It's great.

      Dusty Rust is good too.

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    • Private 8 months ago

      If you want to know about DUSTY RUST....try putting his name in google and you will see he is not a walk on. He was highly recruited out of high school and is one you will want to watch these next 4 years of college football at Louisiana Tech. He has got what it takes and will kick some butt playing defense for Tech!

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  1. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Whenever you need another 15 seconds on the clock, there's SMU OL Lucky DeLay.

    This year's Tulsa roster appropriate starts with freshman DB Genesis Cole (this is just the beginning).

    And you know the toughest guy on the field has to be New Mexico St. LB (don't call him "Little") Boyblue Aoelua. (His teammate, NT Sioeli Fakalata, gets all the action after the games).

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  2. Ricky Ward about 1 year ago

    You also left out a very good Southern name- T-Bob Hebert from LSU

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    • David Williams about 1 year ago

      Beat me to it Ricky. I was just about to add that one. There are so many. This is just my condensed version. I didn't realize you could write a book on all these names. The thing about T-Bob is he's Bob/Bobby Hebert Jr. or the III. Where in the world did he come up with T-Bob?

      Guys named Colt could have a category of their own with Colt McCoy, Colt David, and Colt Brennan

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  3. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    David-

    This cracked me up so much I blew half my workday on it (see above). Awesome article! I'm from STL, so I know you're enjoying Wash-U in the fall. Here's to hoping your Buckeyes can survive the next 2 weekends unscathed before they come to Ann Arbor and get a taste of what's coming to them from my Wolverines!

    Here's one last name for the weekend: Air Force sophomore kicker Paul Pfluke. ("It's not that I don't have confidence in you, Paul, it's just that the 58-yard kick you nailed in pre-game seems like it might have been..., well, you know....")

    -Nathan

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  4. Erick Blasco about 1 year ago

    I'm still laughing at LeQuantum McDonald and his knowledge of LeQuantum Physics! This article gets better the more you read it.

    Lucky DeLay, Bobby Fails, and Foxy Foxworth are some of my favorites from the comments.

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  5. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Don't forget about University of Toledo running back: Scooter McDougle
    and former Texas-El Paso lineman: Ibok Ibok

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  6. T Shipley about 1 year ago

    Bill Cosby was right. Look for the word "names" on this page.

    http://www.eightcitiesmap.com/transcript_bc.htm

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  7. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    How about T-Bob Hebert who is a redshirt freshman center at LSU. His father played for the Saints, but T-Bob played his high school ball in Georgia.

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  8. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    What about:

    1. Jonal Saint-Dic (Michigan State)
    2. Casey Dick (Arkansas)
    3. Aquib Talib (Kansas)

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  9. Dave Nemetz about 1 year ago

    This article got mentioned on Blog Show: http://www.burlysports.com/video/19736

    Sweet!

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  10. Tori Willis about 1 year ago

    for player positions:

    Syndric Steptoe, Arizona

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  11. James about 1 year ago

    sackrider would be the most embarrassing last name ever think if his first name was willie and his middle name was and "willie and sackrider"

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  12. A.J. Davis about 1 year ago

    Kyle Sackrider!!!! funniest 1 up there

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  13. david ferraro 8 months ago

    when my little brother played pop warner football there was a kid on his team named Harley Varley. i think thats a pretty sick name

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