Morrissey once wrote, "Some girls are bigger than others." The same applies to football coaches as well.
Being a successful football player requires an athlete to be in top physical shape, to be disciplined, and exhibit self-control.
To be a head coach—not so much.
Some coaches waddle along the sidelines looking like Rob Reiner with a headset and a playbook. Their body type is not unlike that of the fans that tailgate during the entire game and seem to always be jamming bratwurst in their face when their team scores.
It takes years of Milwaukee's Best, pork rinds, and Nutty Buddy bars to achieve such physical form. Forget about exercise, that will just distract you from studying the opponent, especially when the opponent is hunger.
Debates have popped up as to whether player are less prone to listen to an out of shape coach. How can you tell a kid to run some laps when you have to drive to your mailbox so you don't get winded?
Do oversize coaches come under more scrutiny that the smaller guys? Maybe people view fat guys as being fat putzes that can't control their weight or their players.
Others feel that tubby coaches get more sympathy than the fit coaches. This is the Santa syndrome. If he's fat and funny looking, he must be a jolly guy.
Sit back with a bag of powdered doughnuts and a chocolate milkshake and enjoy the ten fattest coaches in football.