The SEC: Spies on Campus

chris mayContributor IJune 9, 2009

MIAMI - JANUARY 08:  The Florida Gators celebrate after defeating the Oklahoma Sooners in the FedEx BCS National Championship Game at Dolphin Stadium on January 8, 2009 in Miami, Florida. The Gators won the game by a score of 24-14.  (Photo by Donald Miralle/Getty Images)

Ahhh, the SEC: Where a win is a win until the the fans get nervous. That's the life of an SEC fan these days. Let me tell you, it's tough. As an Auburn fan, I've had my share of nervous moments. Uh, Eric Ramsey, anybody? That's not even the tip of the iceberg, and that iceberg is reaching peak status.  

Right now, Auburn fans are hearing the rumblings of another meltdown from the old staff. Yes, I'm talking about that pathetic "ears" guy. Sources are telling me that former Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville had a staff member try to buy his way into a former prospect's heart. I'm not going to mention the prospect, but it's common knowledge to people in this state. 

I know, I know, Auburn fans. It's pretty tough for me to write this, but cheating is cheating, even if it breaks my orange and blue heart. When I played baseball in college, there was talk back then that athletic directors, and boosters would put "spies" on rival campuses. Seriously! They would go all the way with it, like having the person even enroll at the rival school. Wow.

The point of my story is, do they still do stuff like that today? Are you kidding me, Chris? They probably have robots that look like human football players that are actually on scholarships. Okay, maybe I went a little too far, but don't tell me it hasn't crossed your wouldn't surprise me at all.

So I ask this question to all of my true SEC fans out there. What happens inside the home of Bobby Lowder (or insert your most hated booster), when the wins stop. Do they really go that far with trying to tear down another fan base's dreams? My answer: you better believe it.

I know I got off base a little, and I'll tell you how. Above, I talked about the former prospect that "ole ears McGee" tried, sweet talking 12,000 different ways. Then, I got off on the rant about the booster spies. Well, the two don't go hand in hand because somebody got caught on audio tape. Therefore, no spy was needed. If a staff gets caught without the help of another university, then they deserve to be chicken kicked across the state line. 

The SEC is the toughest, richest, and has the most beloved fan bases in the country. It is a win now, and don't let your rival win type of conference. So, if the new Auburn rumor is true, then tell Mr. Lowder to release the spies, because this match has only begun.