If you could use only one word to describe the Week 2 slate o' games, I believe “meh” would be a sufficient place to start. Yes, Week 2 two isn’t the deepest CFB buffet we’ll be treated to in 2012, but it doesn’t matter. Football Saturdays are so much better than non-football Saturdays.
Our weekly tradition of using NCAA ’13 to predict winners returns with a puffy chest and temporary bragging rights. A 4-1 start in Week 1 is exactly how we needed to get out of the gate, and the lone loss came with NCAA ‘13’s prediction that NC State would blow out Tennessee.
If you’re new to the tradition, here’s the skinny: We simulate each college football week using the greatest game ever made and report the findings (which are not doctored with—pinky swear).
We zero in on five of the most intriguing games for that given week and report other interesting results as well. If you’re an Arkansas fan, you may find this week’s outcome particularly interesting.
Please direct all hate mail to ItsNotMePleaseDontSetMyHouseOnFire@LOLOLOL.COM.
Also, take a deep breath, LSU fans, and remember that someone sat in front of their television and took notes on this. It could also be worse.
A 28-point second half propels the Irish over Purdue in their first game back in the US of A. Four Notre Dame running backs log carries, and three of them score touchdowns. Everett Golson throws for 191 yards, two touchdowns and two interceptions as ND cruises.
Multiple Purdue quarterbacks get looks in this one, and they combine to complete only 13 passes on 31 throws. Oof. Antavian Edison hauls in five of these passes and finishes with 66 yards receiving, but Purdue manages just 223 total yards and turns it over three times.
The media responds to Notre Dame’s 2-0 start very casually, as anticipated. Wait, no, never mind. We’ve already decided that they’re going undefeated, and they’ll win every game going forward by 11 touchdowns.
Well, what do we have here?
UPSET SPECIAL TIME SPONSORED BY “PLEASE DON’T SLASH MY TIRES, LSU FANS.”
Washington wastes little time out of the gate, and their scoring drive is capped off by a Keith Price touchdown run. Price finishes the game with 297 total yards and that TD, while running back Bishop Sankey does a magnificent Chris Polk impression by finding the end zone twice.
For LSU, quarterback Zach Mettenberger does not have his best game. He completes only eight passes for 80 yards (this is a sad but familiar LSU QB stat line) while adding both a touchdown and an interception. The very talented group of running backs averages just 3.9 yards a carry, and Washington beats them with a late field goal on hostile ground.
LSU fans take the loss in stride, realizing it’s a very long season and a lot can happ—Oh no, the building’s on fire! Everybody get out now!
This one’s all A&M from the get-go.
Starting Aggie QB Johnny Manziel is not good through the air (12-of-40 for 185 yards, a touchdown and an interception), but he makes up for it with his legs. His 101 yards and two scores lead the team on the ground, while RB Christine Michael adds 73 yards and a touchdown.
The Gators play multiple QBs…and it does not go well. Jeff Driskel and Jacoby Brissett complete 12 of their 35 passes and add three interceptions. The running backs combine to add 103 yards on 17 carries and the lone touchdown, but that is it for the Gator offense.
An obviously upset Will Muschamp talks with reporters after the game and outlines his innovative quarterback depth chart heading into Week 3:
No. 1: Albert (the mascot)
No. 2: Alberta (the other mascot)
No. 3: His favorite chair in his office
No. 4: A defensive tackle to be named later
After scoring three touchdowns in the first 18 minutes of this one, Auburn puts it in cruise control. Quarterback Kiehl Frazier throws for 232 yards and three scores, and wideout Emory Blake is on the other end of a good chunk of those. Blake finishes with 160 yards on eight catches and hauls in two of the touchdowns.
As for Mississippi State, the results aren’t nearly as promising. The offense manages only 233 total yards, and multiple quarterbacks see the field. Their combined stat line isn’t pretty, as the team is held under 100 yards passing. Running back LaDarius Perkins is the lone bright spot, running for 113 yards on 21 carries.
Auburn fans hand over their pitchforks and torches to the Mississippi State faithful, who promise to keep them nice and warm if Auburn fans want or need them again. And who says the SEC doesn't know how to share?
Week 2's marquee matchup is a good one.
Missouri jumps out to a 10-0 lead, although Georgia comes roaring back in the second quarter. Aaron Murray throws for 340 yards and two touchdowns, while Tavarres King hauls in 129 of the yards and both scores. On defense, the Bulldogs manage to accumulate five sacks, applying pressure all game.
On the other side, James Franklin struggles mightily at quarterback, completing only 14 passes on 35 throws. Missouri tight end Eric Waters comes down with the team’s only passing touchdown, while a punt return serves as the other visit to the end zone.
Missouri gets their first taste of SEC life in their own building while Mark Richt is able to return to Athens without hearing about how “Mark Richt has lost control of this easy SEC schedule.”
USC 35, Syracuse 3
Vanderbilt 38, Northwestern 34
Miami 24, Kansas State 21—The question is: Could the Hurricanes beat the Dolphins? OF COURSE NOT probably.
Virginia 41, Penn State 13
UCF 28, Ohio State 20—UrbanMania gets a flat tire.
Cincinnati 44, Pitt 21
Alabama 38, Western Kentucky 0
Oklahoma State 45, Arizona 6
UL Monroe 37, Arkansas 36—If this happens, I'm quitting my job, taking my NCAA '13 to Vegas and going hog wild.
Iowa 28, Iowa State 7
Arizona State 26, Illinois 17
Wake Forest 22, UNC 18
Maryland 20, Temple 17—20 points AND a win for The Turtle? Perhaps the craziest outcome yet.
Nebraska 34, UCLA 21
South Carolina 35, ECU 14
NC State 34, UConn 9
Duke 27, Stanford 24—Revenge of the nerds. Yes, the bigger nerds.
Wisconsin 45, Oregon State 0