Best & Worst Proposed Names for College Football's Final Four Playoff
The four-team playoff system being tossed around for college football right now still has some wrinkles that need to be ironed out before it can be implemented.
For instance, should it allow only conference champions, where will the games be played, and most importantly, what will we call it.
For the time being, "Final Four" is off the table, as that has been copyrighted by the NCAA, along with "Big Dance," "Elite Eight" and other terms related to the NCAA basketball tournament.
This list is an attempt at getting some conversations started regarding a good name for the system. It includes several really bad ideas and a few decent ones presented in a humorous manner.
For those of you with no sense of humor, feel free to leave your legitimate suggestions below.
Worst: Quintessential Quartet
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First, there are entirely too many "Q's" in this name.
Second, we are trying to name a football playoff, not a string quartet.
We could go with this one on a trial basis, solely for the purpose of seeing how many angry phone calls the networks get from those expecting some sort of Mozart recital in this time slot.
Worst: Football Four
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As has been mentioned, Final Four is already taken.
So is Frozen Four, Fantastic Four and Formidable Four.
Wait, that last one isn't taken, but it does sound a little too pompous.
Anyway, "Football Four" is just too bland, and it brings to mind really dull mashed potatoes and gravy.
Or maybe I just need to eat.
Worst: The BCS National Championship Series Presented by (Fill in the Blank)
I'm not sure what the actual name of this whole hot mess is going to be.
That said, you can almost guarantee that we will have some sort of ridiculous sponsorship tagging along at the end of the name.
We already have the Rose Bowl Presented by Vizio, the Discover Orange Bowl (it pays to Discover) and the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
I'm a fan of the last one, simply because Chick-fil-A is actually good stuff.
However, the commercialism seems to be getting a little carried away, and there is no doubt it will continue in whatever name we have for a playoff.
Worst: The SEC Playoffs
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Let's end this right now.
We are not going to have the top four SEC teams face each other for the playoff title.
I know it's going to be suggested by SEC proponents, so let's just clear the air of that notion from the get-go.
Neutral: FBS Four
I'm torn on this one.
On the surface it seems a little bland, somewhat like "Football Four."
However, it makes sense, there are no sponsors tagging along in this form, and it's easy to remember.
That said, the NCAA may not want its playoff sounding like a nickname for some kind of corporate conglomerate.
Best: Delany's Dumpster-Fire
Jim Delany, the Big Ten's commissioner, is a villain on the same level as Loki to everybody outside of the Big Ten.
He has already joined with Pac-12 commish Larry Scott to try and leverage the playoff into including the Rose Bowl when a team from either of their conferences is involved, and they will undoubtedly push for a "conference champions only" policy in the new system.
The two men together have some pretty significant pull, and while they seem to have already caved on the whole "Pasadena Plan," it's a pretty good bet that Delany will have a say in the way things turn out. And, usually, he operates to the detriment of the SEC.
Best: The Controversial Four
I've already pointed this out in a little more lengthy manner, but a four-team playoff will leave us with no less controversy than the current BCS debacle.
Even with the "top four teams" making the playoff, there will still be plenty of arguments about whether they are actually the top four, no matter who winds up at the top of the rankings.
Forgive me if I seem a little negative about this system, but all it will do as far as controversy is concerned is fan the flames.
Best: Frigid Four
It's just an idea, but let's propose that these games be played north of the Mason-Dixon Line for once.
Instead of Big Ten and Big East teams traveling south to play on their foes' home turf on a regular basis, let's play the games at Yankee Stadium and Soldier Field.
Snowplows would be optional.
As would be attendance, especially considering the temperatures in those places in late December/early January.
However, the move would make the teams from up north quit their whining when they lose anyway and give us a halfway decent name for the thing.