Meme Mania: What Every NBA Team Should Be Most Thankful for This Thanksgiving
Before you change into your Thanksgiving Day binge-eating pants, let us first give thanks...to basketball.
Fans of every NBA team have something to be grateful for. Trust me, because more than halfway through this article, yours truly polled the Twitter masses to find out. (Phoenix Suns fans are ferocious, by the way.)
So to keep those positive vibes flowing, let us now wax appreciation for every franchise, good and bad, in whatever way seems fit.
Atlanta Hawks
Pre-Thanksgiving losing streak notwithstanding, the Atlanta Hawks have been really good this season. And while they are statistically superior on both sides of the ball without Dwight Howard, their veteran center is moving better and competing harder than he has in years.
For that, along with the rebounding and pick-and-roll presence Howard brings, Atlanta must be thankful.
Boston Celtics
Showing thanks to former Brooklyn Nets general manager Billy King was an option here, but that's too easy. Also: Brooklyn plays hard and is going to wind up with more wins than expected.
Al Horford is of more immediate importance to the Boston Celtics. He missed nine straight games while going through concussion protocol, during which time Boston's defense nearly imploded.
But the Celtics play like a top-two team on both sides of the floor whenever Horford is in the lineup. His return is terrible news for the rest of the league.
Brooklyn Nets
General manager Sean Marks and head coach Kenny Atkinson cannot conjure first-round picks out of thin air, but they have reinvented the atmosphere in Brooklyn.
These makeshift Nets play hard, move the ball and don't shy away from mixing up the rotation. They have helped Brook Lopez come into his own as a three-point-shooting shot-blocker. They have unearthed an offensive gem in Sean Kilpatrick. They have turned Rondae Hollis-Jefferson into a terrific passer. They have set up Justin Hamilton to be one of the sweetest-shooting bigs in the league.
Best of all, the Nets aren't on pace to be the worst team in the league. Relative to preseason expectations, that's a huge win.
Charlotte Hornets
What was that again about Kemba Walker regressing to the mean?
Just one other player is clearing 24 points and five assists per game while burying at least 40 percent of his triples: Stephen Curry. If Walker keeps this up, he's a shoo-in for his first career All-Star nod.
Chicago Bulls
Though the Chicago Bulls rank seventh in points scored per 100 possessions, they are 24th in effective field-goal percentage.
How is that possible? Offensive rebounds.
No team grabs a greater share of their misses than the Bulls. Taj Gibson, Cristiano Felicio, Robin Lopez and Bobby Portis throw their bodies around under the rim, and it has allowed Chicago to collect more second-chance points than any squad other than the Washington Wizards.
Cleveland Cavaliers
If you think the Cleveland Cavaliers' well-oiled machine officially transcends LeBron James, you're beyond wrong.
Cleveland goes from posting a league-best net rating with him on the floor to notching a bottom-two mark whenever he sits. That free fall holds even when Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love play during his stays on the bench, according to NBAWowy.com.
Be happy this guy James is on your side, Cleveland. The reigning champs cannot survive without him.
Dallas Mavericks
The good thing about the Dallas Mavericks being the worst team in the league is that they own the rights to their first-round pick.
So, Mavs fans, here's a picture of owner Mark Cuban cuddling with top prospect Markelle Fultz.
Denver Nuggets
There's something exciting about Jamal Murray. It's not necessarily his three-point shooting or his increasing knack for shimmying between both guard spots. It's...it's just there, per Denver Stiffs' Jeff Morton:
Whatever it is Murray possesses, the Denver Nuggets are lucky to have him aboard—especially with Emmanuel Mudiay taking so long to develop.
Detroit Pistons
Reggie Jackson has been cleared for contract drills, per MLive.com's Aaron McCann. He has yet to play this season after receiving injections for his knee and thumb, but if his six-to-eight-week timetable from Oct. 10 holds true, he'll be back within 14 days.
Hooray for the Pistons! And for Andre Drummond's alley-oop totals!
Golden State Warriors
Anyone who wants to get cute and use the Golden State Warriors' 16th-place defense to rail against their addition of Kevin Durant needs this reality check provided by Dean Oliver, author of Basketball on Paper:
With defense merely an artificial concern, the Warriors can enjoy the fruits of last summer's salary-cap explosion free from guilt. Kevin Durant has not made them worse. He and Stephen Curry aren't struggling to coexist.
Believe it or not, the Warriors are going to be just fine.
Houston Rockets
James Harden leads the league in points created from assists with 30.2 per game. Tack that on to his scoring average (28.7) and he's accounting for 58.3 points per contest—or roughly 54.6 percent of the Houston Rockets' total offense.
Don't bother thinking about where your team would be without Harden, Rockets fans. It's too painful.
Indiana Pacers
It turns out a certain sector of Indiana Pacers Twitter remains fearful that Paul George will one day sign with the Los Angeles Lakers.
Team president Larry Bird's latest roster experiment does nothing to quell those concerns, but it's not like George can leave tomorrow. He can't opt out of his contract until summer 2018, which is forever away. (Right?)
Los Angeles Clippers
Bowing at the alter of the Los Angeles Clippers' Big Three was so last Thanksgiving. It's all about the bench this year.
While the Clippers' second unit once again ranks middle of the road in offensive and defensive efficiency, according to HoopsStats.com, they've cobbled together an all-bench combination that's on fire.
Jamal Crawford, Raymond Felton, Wesley Johnson, Austin Rivers and Marreese Speights are outscoring opponents by 17.2 points per 100 possessions through their 113 minutes of court time—the second-best net rating in the league among lineups to see as much spin.
Los Angeles Lakers
Did you know Luke Walton was nicknamed "Little Wheats"? That alone makes him a more successful coach for the Lakers than predecessor Byron Scott. But there's other stuff, too.
"I would run through a wall for Coach right now," Jordan Clarkson said, per Serena Winters of Lakers Nation. "We want to get wins for him, as well as ourselves."
"He wants to run through a wall for us too," Julius Randle added, also per Winters. "When you have someone that truly cares about you, it's just a different feeling."
Walton's Lakers are far from all talk. They deploy one of the Association's 10 best offenses and are playing .500 ball, right in the thick of the Western Conference's early-bird playoff race.
Not bad for a team projected to be one of the worst in the league, eh?
Memphis Grizzlies
Some scoffed at Mike Conley's five-year, $153 million deal over the summer. After all, what team gives someone without an All-Star appearance the richest contract in NBA history?
The Memphis Grizzlies do, and they're not about to apologize. Conley is averaging career highs in points, rebounds, blocks, field-goal percentage, three-point shooting, free-throw shooting, player efficiency rating and box plus-minus.
If the Grizzlies remain healthy enough to grind out a playoff spot, expect Conley to enter the peripherals of this year's MVP race.
Miami Heat
Miami Heat fans should be grateful that their team owns this season's first-round pick. But Hassan Whiteside's performance is equally inspiring.
All of his safety nets are gone. Luol Deng and Dwyane Wade left, and Chris Bosh, whom he never really lined up with, appears to have played his last game for the franchise. And still Whiteside is averaging a mind-melting 17.9 points, 15.4 rebounds and 2.4 blocks per game.
The Heat's offense leaves much to be desired, but Whiteside remains a devastating pick-and-roll finisher. If nothing else, he's proved his mettle as a standalone defensive anchor, per NBA Math:
Milwaukee Bucks
Giannis Antetokounmpo isn't technically a point guard, but he functions as one. Of course, he also blocks shots like a center and attacks the basket like a wing. So really, he's a point everything.
Whatever he is, the Milwaukee Bucks must count themselves as lucky. Antetokounmpo is averaging 21.8 points, 8.5 rebounds, 5.8 assists, 2.0 steals and 2.2 blocks per game—numbers no human player has ever maintained for an entire season.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Important: We don't refer to Andrew Wiggins as "Maple Jordan" nearly enough.
More important: Yes, those are cats, sitting atop maple leafs, on the shoulders of Karl-Anthony "KAT" Towns and Maple Jordan. It was the only way to properly celebrate what will be one of the NBA's most dangerous duos a couple years down the road.
New Orleans Pelicans
Breathe, Mavericks fans. The New Orleans Pelicans aren't a threat to your league-worst record anymore.
Jrue Holiday's return is keying a revival in New Orleans. He and Anthony Davis have already led the team on a mini winning streak, and the Pelicans are gutting opponents by 31.6 points per 100 possessions whenever they share the floor.
Is a surprise playoff push now in store for this watchable duo? Probably not. But the Pelicans will have the chance to win more games than the Sacramento Kings.
New York Knicks
Over the last three decades, two players have tallied at least 275 points, 100 rebounds, 15 blocks and 30 three-pointers through their first 14 games: Kevin Durant (2015-16) and Kristaps Porzingis (2016-17).
I'm not saying Porzingis is already the New York Knicks' best player, but that's only because it should be an unspoken fact by now.
(P.S. Knicks fans should be extra thankful for Porzingis, because there's an alternate universe in which team president Phil Jackson got his hands on Jahlil Okafor and successfully maxed out Greg Monroe.)
Oklahoma City Thunder
Russell Westbrook is to the Oklahoma City Thunder what Harden is to the Rockets: absolutely everything.
Never mind that Oklahoma City plays like the league's worst team without Westbrook; the point gawd is essentially averaging a triple-double: 31.8 points, 9.6 rebounds and 10.5 assists.
Most of us would typically claim this is unsustainable. But only those who haven't watched Westbrook play a single minute in the post-Durant era would draw such an erroneous conclusion.
Orlando Magic
Silver linings are hard to come by for the Orlando Magic and their fans these days. Aaron Gordon's athleticism and general ceiling spring to mind, but then you realize head coach Frank Vogel's rotation doesn't cater to either.
That leaves the defense, which places eighth in points allowed per 100 possessions despite six of Orlando's 10 most used lineups ranking as collective turnstiles.
Philadelphia 76ers
Joel Embiid. The Process. Sam Hinkie. Whatever. It's all the same.
The Sixers have been waiting (and waiting) for a franchise cornerstone worthy of leading them beyond the doldrums, and Joel Embiid gives them one. He is posting per-game lines we haven't seen from a rookie big man since Tim Duncan, and Philly is watchable whenever he's on the court.
Finally, Sixers fans, you can embrace The Process without feeling slightly ashamed.
Phoenix Suns
The Phoenix Suns have a 20-year-old who's almost averaging 20 points per game. Aside from Marquese Chriss' occasional pop, that's about the extent of their appeal.
Should head coach Earl Watson ever cut Dragan Bender loose, Suns supporters will have a third thing to upsell.
Portland Trail Blazers
Pull-up three-pointers can be damning to an offense, and the Portland Trail Blazers aren't exactly setting the world on fire with buckets. But Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum make you believe these shots are high-quality looks.
If you can't contend for a championship, you might as well monopolize one aspect of the game. Lillard and McCollum have this one on lock.
Sacramento Kings
Sacramento's first-round commitment to Chicago turns into a second-rounder if it lands inside the top 10, according to RealGM. Currently, the Kings are on course to have one of the 10 worst records.
Which means the joke's on the Bulls!
Alas, this appreciation isn't forever. The Kings' first-round commitment to the Sixers in 2019 knows no such protection.
San Antonio Spurs
Oh, what's that? The San Antonio Spurs are playing at a 65-win pace? One season after earning a franchise-best 67 victories?
No big deal. That's what they do.
Toronto Raptors
Sure, we could talk about DeMar DeRozan's offensive explosion or about Lucas Nogueira's emergence. We could even honor Kyle Lowry for continuing to be the Toronto Raptors' most valuable player despite shooting under 40 percent from the field.
Forget that, though. DeRozan and Lowry seem like best friends and it's straight awesome:
It kind of makes you wonder whether Durant would be playing for the Warriors if he and Westbrook shared moments like this in Oklahoma City, doesn't it?
Utah Jazz
The Utah Jazz's injury-bug infestation isn't all bad. You can't buy a more effective refrain of excuses.
Didn't make the playoffs? We we were too injured.
Decided not to re-sign Gordon Hayward (player option)? We didn't make the playoffs.
Invested more money into a core that didn't sniff postseason? Think about what we can do once healthy!
Made the playoffs despite extensive absences from Alec Burks, Boris Diaw, Derrick Favors, Gordon Hayward and George Hill? We're better than the Warriors!
Washington Wizards
Wizards fans: Please allow Otto Porter's breakout to distract you from the fact that your team isn't very good, and you're probably a few weeks away from John Wall being the Trade Machine's most popular player.
Stats courtesy of Basketball-Reference.com and NBA.com and accurate leading into Friday's games.
Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter: @danfavale.
