NBA Meme Mania: New Year's Resolution Edition
New Year's resolutions are boring.
Unless they're NBA related and come in the form of memes.
Knowing this, we clearly need to bring back NBA #MemeMania for Round 3, before the calendar turns to 2016.
Our resolutions can be anything, and they will be directed at anyone—you, me, coaches, general managers, superstars, etc. The focus will lie with topics that are worth a look as we close out 2015 and will warrant our attention as we ring in the New Year.
So, let's meme.
Work Together, For a Worthy Cause
Atlanta's Kyle Korver's 36-plus percent clip from three-point range is nothing to panic about—unless you're Kyle Korver.
His three-point success rate has never been worse, and he went 0-of-10 from downtown in the Atlanta Hawks' Dec. 29 victory over the Houston Rockets. And, well, there's this, per NBC Sports' Kurt Helin:
Another sign of the apocalypse? Allen Crabbe is averaging more points per spot-up possession than Korver despite receiving nearly twice as many touches in those situations.
So please, if you see Korver's missing flamethrower, say something.
Rescue the Rockets From Themselves
Dwight Howard has more than twice as many post-up possessions as roll-man touches.
That. Is. Not. OK.
If the Houston Rockets wish to reenter the championship conversation, they need to run more pick-and-roll plays for Howard, the devastating slasher who has never fully embraced his greatest strength.
Renew Trust in The Process
Appointing Jerry Colangelo chairman of basketball operations signifies change for the Philadelphia 76ers. Their rebuilding war cry is no longer "The Process or die." And that's a mistake.
General manager Sam Hinkie's Process hasn't been pretty, but it was never supposed to be. It was very obviously, and at least, a five-year project from its inception, and the Sixers shouldn't start chasing mid-end impact players this summer just for the sake of progress.
Hinkie is not former Philadelphia Eagles coach Chip Kelly. He values transcendent talent and is aiming for something bigger than cyclical early-round playoff exits.
Some change is fine. But in 2016, the Sixers need to ensure they don't abandon The Process altogether—not when they haven't given it enough time to work.
Safety Over History
Ahead of the Golden State Warriors' Dec. 30 meeting with the Dallas Mavericks, Warriors radio play-by-play man Tim Roye relayed some inconvenient, if heart-stopping, news:
Breaking the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls' record of 72 wins would be nice. You know what else would be nice? Seeing Stephen Curry survive the season.
Don't confuse this with overreaction. The Warriors have already been forced to play without Harrison Barnes, Andrew Bogut, Leandro Barbosa, Shaun Livingston, Festus Ezeli and Klay Thompson at different points this season. They need to take the long-term view over everything, and there is no overreacting when it comes to Curry.
Fortunately, Warriors interim head coach Luke Walton shares this sentiment. We'll thank him for his precautionary measures later.
Start a Research Relief Fund for Curry's Defenders
The rest of the NBA can't just bank on Golden State babying Curry for all of 2016. The reigning MVP is going to play, and the league needs to be prepared.
Because when Curry plays, egos shatter and ankles break:
Together, we can take care of the unlucky souls who have been tasked with the impossible.
Please send all donations to Sacramento Kings backup point guard and chief operating officer of "Crossed Up By Curry? There's An Ankle Brace For That, Inc." Darren Collison.
Shoot Like It's 2013-14...If You're LeBron
Heading into the Cleveland Cavaliers' Dec. 29 victory over the Denver Nuggets, John Schuhmann of NBA.com dropped some mind-melting statistical news:
LeBron James is shooting a career-worst 25 percent from long distance, and his effective field-goal percentage—cumulative measurement of two- and three-point efficiency—is the lowest it's been since 2006-07 at 51.2 percent.
With Kyrie Irving back in the fold, James ought to work on returning to his 2013-14 roots, when as a member of the Miami Heat, he notched a career-best effective field-goal rate (61.0 percent) and registered as an above-average outside threat.
Bench Tim Duncan*
Look, it sounds radical. But the numbers show that Tim Duncan is old (39), while Boban Marjanovic, the San Antonio Spurs' 27-year-old rookie, is going to win more MVP awards than LeBron.
Per Pounding the Rock's Quixem Ramirez:
Per me:
"NBA players who’ve averaged >= 25 PTS, 13 REB and 2.5 BLK per 36 minutes (via @bball_ref): Kareem& BOBAN& Um, that’s it.
— Dan Favale (@danfavale) December 30, 2015"
*OK, fine. The Spurs should not bench Duncan. They just need to ensure they give we the people more of Boban in 2016.
Chill on the (Poorly Executed) Ben Simmons Photoshops
...Starting now.
That Said, Don't Forget About Ben Simmons
"We just don't play hard all the time," Anthony Davis said following the New Orleans Pelicans' Dec. 28 loss to the Orlando Magic, per the Times-Picayune's Andrew Lopez. "That starts with our first unit coming out and setting the pace and setting the tone for the rest of the game and setting the tone for the guys that sub in especially after halftime. That's kind of been our thing this year."
Slow starts should continue to be the Pelicans' thing.
Sure, they were supposed to continue their climb up the Western Conference ladder after securing a playoff berth in 2015 for the first time since 2011. But injuries and a badly built roster have set them back.
Rather than scrape and claw their way toward, at best, another first-round postseason exodus, the Pelicans are better off staging a soft Sixers impression. Having a legitimate shot at the highly held Ben Simmons is a worthy consolation prize for a disappointing finish that, truthfully, may prove unavoidable anyway.
Find New Homes for the Unhappy, Underused and Underachieving
Special thanks to the people over at Pedigree for serving as my muse.
Trade season is officially underway in the NBA, and the rumor mill is already churning out names in volume. Let's all do our best—team owners, general managers, player agents, meddling parents, proactive fans, etc.—to find any chopping-block staples new homes once the calendar turns.
Vote Like It Matters
This year, when voting for the starters of the NBA's 2016 All-Star Game in Toronto, resist the urge to back the popular, brand-built choices and instead support those who deserve a nod.
#NBAVOTE like it matters.
Stats courtesy of Basketball-Reference.com and NBA.com unless otherwise cited and are accurate leading into games on Dec. 30.
Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter, @danfavale.
