It was supposed to be the next step in the rebranding process for the New Orleans Pelicans.
Armed with a new logo, new uniforms, new players and, with them, new playoff hopes, the Pelicans posted a picture of their latest addition on their official Twitter feed—a new mascot:
Introducing your new mascot Pierre the Pelican! pic.twitter.com/CieVTs3sMt— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) October 31, 2013
It was mystifying, mesmerizing and all types of horrifying.
B/R's own Joe Flynn warned the basketball world to "fear the birds!" USA Today's Sean Highkin reminded everyone to not "stare into his eyes for more than a few seconds," and Matt Moore of CBS Sports said the Pelicans mascot designers had opted for "the genetic creation of that which must not be seen."
Sure, to be a menacing presence in the nightmares of hoops heads across the globe, Pierre the Pelican didn't wait for the world to sleep before starting his wrath of terror.
First, he haunted us in dark alleys:
Next, he found an equally haunting friend:
LOOK, THEY'RE FRIENDS! pic.twitter.com/UpFl4sXa7Y— Hardwood Paroxysm (@HPbasketball) October 31, 2013
Then, things got really weird.
He surfaced in a classic movie:
Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. pic.twitter.com/yOYOQZbrMA— Steve McPherson (@steventurous) October 31, 2013
He dabbled in the music business:
He cropped up in the art world:
Somehow, he even found time to take in the World Series game:
this game is rigged. pic.twitter.com/Zz0khT1yru— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) October 31, 2013
Clearly, Pierre was here to stay—no matter how hard we tried to get rid of him:
If you're still hungry for more (and I'm not sure how many of you will have lost your appetite by now), feel free to check out the database of Pierre memes, which can be found via Robert Littal at Blacksportsonline.com.
It's like half scary clown, half Big Bird and 100 percent evil. What's worse is that its presence will be unavoidable, because New Orleans is going to be a can't-miss team this season.
Anthony Davis has superstar potential (20 points, 12 rebounds and three blocks in his 2013-14 debut), Eric Gordon looks like he's finally at full strength (25 points), and Jrue Holiday might make a strong bid at being a repeat All-Star (24 points, seven rebounds and five assists).
And then there's Pierre.
It's an intimidating presence from a basketball sector that should be free from intimidation. Mascots are supposed to bring entertainment to the action. Pierre entertains in the way near-death situations get your heart racing.
I'd hate to imagine what the bird has cooked up for Mardi Gras next year.