NBA Lockout: 20 Ways Players Could Keep Themselves Busy This Summer

By (Featured Columnist) on July 8, 2011

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ARLINGTON, TX - JUNE 24:  Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks reacts after throwing out the ceremonial first pitch before a game between the New York Mets and the Texas Rangers at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington on June 24, 2011 in Arlington, Texas.  (Pho
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

The NBA lockout is going to end up causing a lot of misery for players and fans alike if it continues throughout the summer. 

While fans are used to summers without basketball and always have to wait for the fall to see any real action, the players are used to practicing and getting better with their teammates. They have to endure a whole different kind of misery. 

Most of them are going to find other ways to keep themselves busy. 

Here are suggestions for 20 of the league's better players. 

 

Adam Fromal is a Featured Columnist at Bleacher Report and a syndicated writer. Follow him on Twitter: @Fromal09. 

LaMarcus Aldridge

DENVER - DECEMBER 28:  LaMarcus Aldridge #12 of the Portland Trail Blazers controls the ball against the Denver Nuggets at Pepsi Center on December 28, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. The Nuggets defeated the Blazers 95-77. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowle
Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

LaMarcus, after all the work you put into improving your game last season, you absolutely deserved that last spot in the Western Conference's All-Star Team. But, you were absolutely gypped out of the spot and have a right to complain about it as much as you want. 

But, classy guy that you are, you should probably just spend this entire season beginning your campaign for a spot on next year's squad. 

Set up some posters, make a couple YouTube videos and get some featured spots on various sports websites just to get your name out there. 

Michael Beasley

BOSTON, MA - JANUARY 03:  Michael Beasley #8 of the Minnesota Timberwolves reacts to a foul called against him in the second half against the Boston Celtics on January 3, 2011 at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. The Celtics defeated the Timberwolve
Elsa/Getty Images

After your recent citation for marijuana possession, I think it's time to get a new hobby Michael. And can this one please be legal?

This latest trouble with the law may be a one-way ticket to the third team of your short NBA career. Is it possible that you've already worn out your welcome in both Miami and Minnesota?

So as for that new hobby, how about something like knitting? That's relaxing too, right?

Andrew Bynum

DALLAS, TX - MAY 08:  Andrew Bynum #17 of the Los Angeles Lakers is ejected from play against the Dallas Mavericks in Game Four of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2011 NBA Playoffs on May 8, 2011 at American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas.
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Andrew, I understand that you hate losing. Everyone does.

But you seem to hate losing a little bit too much. J.J. Barea definitely thinks so since you checked him out of the air hockey-style. The dude doesn't even look like he weighs 100 pounds! Pick on someone your own size next time!

This summer, I would highly suggest that you take some anger management classes to control your temper when your Lakers lose in the playoffs again next season. 

Baron Davis

CLEVELAND - MARCH 29: Baron Davis #85 of the Cleveland Cavaliers keeps the ball inbounds during the game against the Miami Heat on March 29, 2011 at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by down
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

Baron, I know that you like to eat and I know that you don't like to play hard when you're not in a situation that you really like. 

But this summer, refrain from putting on some extra pounds and hit the gym whenever you can. Cleveland may not be a playoff-caliber team quite yet, but you're going to need to play well to stay relevant and earn some playing time from incoming rookie Kyrie Irving. 

It sucks that you can't throw alley-oops to Blake Griffin anymore, but at least you have...Omri Casspi? 

On second thought, maybe you should just eat a lot and ditch the basketball. 

Tim Duncan

SAN ANTONIO, TX - APRIL 27:  Tim Duncan #21 of the San Antionio Spurs looks on against the Memphis Grizzlies in Game Five of the Western Conference Quarterfinals in the 2011 NBA Playoffs on April 27, 2011 at AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas. NOTE TO USER
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

Tim, you've been in the league for well over a decade now and I don't think I've ever seen this expression leave your face, even when you held up trophy after trophy during the San Antonio Spurs' better days. 

It would greatly behoove you to do some stand up comedy and learn to lighten up a bit. There's stoic and then there's too stoic. I think we all know which category you fall into. 

Kevin Garnett

BOSTON, MA - JANUARY 17:  Kevin Garnett #5 of the Boston Celtics does his pregame scream to the crowd before the opening tipoff against the Orlando Magic on January 17, 2011 at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. Garnett missed several weeks due to a
Elsa/Getty Images

From the incomprehensible screams to the chest-poundings you inflict upon yourself, you sure know how to get yourself fired up KG. 

It's time to take those talents and help improve other people's lives. Imagine the impact you could have as a motivational speaker!

Just remember, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!"

Blake Griffin

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 19:  Blake Griffin #32 of the Los Angeles Clippers dunks the ball over a car in the final round of the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest apart of NBA All-Star Saturday Night at Staples Center on February 19, 2011 in Los Angeles, Californ
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

You know Blake, one of the things I'm going to miss the most this summer is waking up and turning on SportsCenter to see your latest masterpiece, most of which involved you slamming the basketball through the rim with previously-unseen force. 

To fill that void in my life, could you please go to a playground and film some jaw-dropping dunks then either post them to YouTube or send them directly to me?

My inbox on Bleacher Report is ready and waiting!

Dwight Howard

PHOENIX - FEBRUARY 14:  Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic emerges from a phone booth wearing a Superman cape during the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest on All-Star Saturday Night, part of 2009 NBA All-Star Weekend at US Airways Center on February 14, 2009 in Ph
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Dwight, I think you're a great player and all, but you're not quite ready to match up with the NBA legend known as Shaquille O'Neal. To do that, you're going to have to learn at least two other post moves. 

But even still, you insist on using the Superman nickname that originally belonged to Shaq. I'll tell you what you need to do to truly earn that nickname and steal it away from The Big AARP. 

Learn to fly. No, not in a plane, helicopter, hanglider or any other machine. With your arms and massive shoulders. 

Only then will you be more of a Superman than Shaq. 

Kris Humphries

MONACO - MAY 27:  Kim Kardashian (L) and Kris Humphries (R) arrive to attend the AmberLounge Fashion Monaco 2011 on May 27, 2011 in Monaco.   (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Kris, now that you're engaged to Kim Kardashian, I'm pretty sure that I know exactly what you're going to be doing all summer long. 

I'm also pretty sure that I cannot go into any more detail on this slide or else I'm going to get into trouble. 

But just know that I fully support you Kris. 

LeBron James

MIAMI, FL - JUNE 12:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat looks on as Dwyane Wade stands in the background against the Dallas Mavericks in Game Six of the 2011 NBA Finals at American Airlines Arena on June 12, 2011 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expr
Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

LeBron, my advice to you would be to take up hockey this summer for two reasons. 

First of all, the NBA is a lot more popular than the NHL, so fewer people are going to criticize you on a daily basis. But that said, you don't even deserve half the criticisms that you're receiving. 

Secondly, hockey games only have three periods. I think we all know why that's a good thing for you. 

Joe Johnson

ATLANTA, GA - MAY 12:  Joe Johnson #2 of the Atlanta Hawks walks onto the court during introductions before facing the Chicago Bulls in Game Six of the Eastern Conference Semifinals in the 2011 NBA Playoffs at Phillips Arena on May 12, 2011 in Atlanta, Ge
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Joe, I may still be a little ticked off that you signed that mega-contract with my Atlanta Hawks, but there's nothing I can do about that now so I have to move on and accept the fact that you've doomed the Hawks to upper-level mediocrity for the next five years. I mean accept the fact that you're a Hawk for the next few seasons. 

But how about you take all that extra money you don't really deserve and do something productive with it?

VEGAS!!!!

Andrei Kirilenko

OAKLAND, CA - OCTOBER 30:  Andrei Kirilenko #47 of the Utah Jazz looks on from the bench in a game against the Golden State Warriors during their NBA season opener October 30, 2007 at Oracle Arena in Oakland, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly ackno
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

You've had some pretty interesting hair styles throughout the years Andrei. 

If you don't remember them all just google search "Andrei Kirilenko hair" and go to the images. 

It's time to utilize this talent of yours my friend. Go open your own hair salon. 

JaVale McGee

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 19:  JaVale McGee #34 of the Washington Wizards dunks in the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest apart of NBA All-Star Saturday Night at Staples Center on February 19, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowled
Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

So I've heard through the grapevine that you're trying to get people to call you Pierre now? Well, can we at least make it PiErre so you can keep rocking the double-capitalized-letters-in-both-names thing you've got going on?

Pierre, JaVale or whatever you want to be called, my suggestion for you this summer is to learn how to dunk at least 10 basketballs in one leap. 

One is good enough for a game, but three wasn't good enough for the Slam Dunk Contest. It's time to step it up another notch. 

Steve Nash

TORONTO - JULY 24:  NBA basketball player Steve Nash plays soccer with members of the media during the MLS All Star Media Game at BMO Field on July 24, 2008 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images)
Claus Andersen/Getty Images

You've got to keep yourself in shape somehow Steve and I can't think of any better way than for you to become a professional soccer player. 

It's always been one of your loves and you're pretty damn good with a soccer ball and cleats. Let's see what you can do in a real game now. 

And don't worry about this affecting your basketball game. If anything, it may help your court vision, not that it needs it of course. 

Dirk Nowitzki

ARLINGTON, TX - JUNE 24:  Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks carries a NBA basketball before throwing out the ceremonial first pitch before a game between the New York Mets and the Texas Rangers at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington on June 24, 2011 in Arli
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Seriously Dirk, just enjoy the summer.

Relax next to a pool in Dallas. Throw out another first pitch for the Texas Rangers. Hell, sleep in all day if that's what you want to do.

You toiled away for year after year, always coming up short. But the hard work finally paid off and you got yourself a title.

Now just enjoy the time off. You of all people deserve it. 

Zach Randolph

MEMPHIS, TN - MAY 13:  Zach Randolph #50 of the Memphis Grizzlies reacts in the final seconds of their 95-83 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game Six of the Western Conference Semifinals in the 2011 NBA Playoffs at FedExForum on May 13, 2011 in Memp
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Zach, It's amazing to me that you can be a consistent 20-10 threat despite the fact that I could barely slide a single piece of paper underneath your shoes whenever you decide to jump. 

Just imagine the kind of improvement you'd see if you could increase your vertical jump from its current mark of approximately three inches. 

I'd suggest a jump rope training regiment. 

Actually, on second though, I'm not sure you'd be able to get over the rope without tripping. Maybe you should stick to plyometrics. 

Josh Smith

ATLANTA, GA - MAY 12:  Josh Smith #5 of the Atlanta Hawks against the Chicago Bulls in Game Six of the Eastern Conference Semifinals in the 2011 NBA Playoffs at Phillips Arena on May 12, 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Josh, you have absolutely got to learn how to pass up jump shots and utilize your incredible athleticism. 

This summer, follow these simple instructions, which are incredibly detailed because you've proven that you're not exactly the smartest basketball player on the court: 

1. Go to a gym in Atlanta.

2. Find an open basketball court. 

3. Pick up a basketball. 

4. Walk to a spot just inside the three-point line. 

5. Stare at the basket and DO NOT SHOOT. 

6. Repeat for six hours straight. 

7. Do this on a daily basis until it's been drilled into your head that you are not a jump-shooter. 

Get back to me when you've completed this assignment. 

John Wall

WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 17:  Joh Wall of the Washington Wizards throws out the ceremonial first pitch before the game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Washington Nationals at Nationals Park on June 17, 2011 in Washington, DC.  (Photo by Greg Fiume/Gett
Greg Fiume/Getty Images

John, John, John. 

You absolutely embarrassed yourself with that first pitch that you threw out for the Washington Nationals. I thought that most professional athletes, especially top-tier ones like yourself, would be able to get the baseball to home plate without a bounce. But not you. 

You're destined for greatness with the Wizards, which means that more opportunities like this will present themselves. 

Please get some help from a retired pitcher. I'm not expecting you to look like Stephen Strasburg, but I am expecting you to do better than Mariah Carey. At least her first pitch was on target. 

Russell Westbrook

DALLAS, TX - MAY 25:  Russell Westbrook #0 of the Oklahoma City Thunder reacts in the fourth quarter while taking on the Dallas Mavericks in Game Five of the Western Conference Finals during the 2011 NBA Playoffs at American Airlines Center on May 25, 201
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Russell, we need to make you learn that you can still excel as the Robin to Kevin Durant's Batman. This summer is the perfect time to do so. Only then will your Oklahoma City Thunder be able to win a title. 

I think that you should join a band, but not as the lead guitarist or singer. You need to be the drummer. 

You see, the drummer is vital to the band because without that beat the music just can't really come together. But at the same time, the drummer is usually fairly behind the scenes and doesn't get the publicity of a guitarist or singer. 

Maybe if you learn the lesson there you can apply it to the basketball court. 

Metta World Peace

SACRAMENTO, CA - APRIL 13:  Ron Artest #15 of the Los Angeles Lakers drives against Donte Greene #20 of the Sacramento Kings on April 13, 2011 at Power Balence Pavilion in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that,
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

Ron, I mean Metta (sorry, I'm still getting used to this name change), I was originally going to suggest that you take this summer to record a new rap album after your first, "My World," was fairly successful back in 2006. 

But somehow, rapping with the last name World Peace doesn't really seem to fit. 

I'm sure you'll find something interesting to do this summer though. 

 

Adam Fromal is a Featured Columnist at Bleacher Report and a syndicated writer. Follow him on Twitter: @Fromal09.

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