NFL Report Cards: Team-by-Team Grades for Week 11
In this week's report cards:
• Jameis Winston and Doug Martin are the only people stopping each other from throwing for six touchdowns or rushing for 250 yards.
• Ezekiel Ansah finds a weakness in the Raiders offensive line (the left side).
• The Chiefs achieve Chiefs nirvana: All of their touchdowns are scored by fullbacks, defensive tackles or linebackers.
• Two teams earn C-plus grades despite losses.
• Jeff Fisher proves he's the kind of boss who takes down the Occupational Safety and Health Administration signs in the warehouse.
• Cam Newton becomes even more Cam Newton-like.
• Chip Kelly achieves a higher stage of football consciousness in which "defense" and "effort" no longer have meaning.
• Russell Wilson enjoys minimal pass protection while the 49ers suffer from The Gabbert Delusion.
• Aaron Rodgers stays exactly the same while the team and narrative around him changes.
Carolina Panthers: A
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This Week's Result: Panthers 44, Redskins 16
Offense (A): Cam Newton's five touchdowns (and Daniel Boone cosplay press conference attire) made headlines. Jonathan Stewart thumped out 102 more rushing yards. Devin Funchess (4-64-1) is starting to become the downfield catch-in-traffic threat Newton needs to complement Greg Olsen (3-54-1).
Defense (A): The defense set the offense up with several short drives after turnovers. Carolina forced five fumbles and recovered four of them. DeSean Jackson broke free for a long touchdown, but as usual the Panthers did an outstanding job preventing yards after contact.
Coaching/Special Teams (B-): Andre Roberts' kickoff-return touchdown wasn't exactly a shining moment for the Panthers coverage units. Otherwise, the Panthers were once again fundamentally sound and well-prepared in all three phases. The red-zone offense was particularly sharp: five touchdowns in six opportunities, with lots of methodical drives that took the fight out of the opponent.
Looking Ahead: Greg Hardy wants revenge on Thanksgiving, as he called the Panthers "just a nameless, faceless opponent," according to ESPN's Todd Archer. Everyone else will find it easier to digest our turkey if we aren't thinking about what Greg Hardy wants.
Kansas City Chiefs: A
2 of 29
This Week's Result: Chiefs 33, Chargers 3
Offense (A-): Alex Smith was very Alex Smith-like, picking away with short passes while mixing in some runs. Spencer Ware came off the bench in relief of Charcandrick West (hamstring) and gouged out 96 rushing yards. The offensive line looked pretty good, though the Chargers pass rush has a habit of bringing out the best in blockers.
Defense (A): Another team effort. Tamba Hali recorded two sacks. Justin Houston turned a screen pass into a pick-six. The secondary was hardly tested.
Coaching/Special Teams (A): The contrast between Andy Reid's organizational model and the crumpling shoebox of the Mike McCoy regime could not be more obvious. The Chiefs adapt to injuries, gain advantages where they can on special teams and accentuate their strengths. The Chargers spend every week wishing they could rush the quarterback, run the ball or return a punt.
Looking Ahead: Major wild-card tiebreakers will be on the line when the Chiefs host the Bills.
Green Bay Packers: A-
3 of 29
This Week's Result: Packers 30, Vikings 13
Offense (B): Eddie Lacy (22 carries, 100 yards) used his cutback ability to make the Packers running game viable again. James Jones (6-109-1) brought a smidge of big-play ability back to the Packers offense, with Jeff Janis pitching in by drawing a long pass-interference foul.
Once the Packers were playing with a lead, it was easy to overlook the fact that Aaron Rodgers completed under 50 percent of his passes, and contributions by the other Packers playmakers were minimal.
Defense (A-): Teddy Bridgewater got tenderized like a lamb chop all afternoon.
Coaching/Special Teams (A): Janis returned an early kickoff 70 yards to set up one of Mason Crosby's five field goals. Crosby also endured a head-butt from Cordarrelle Patterson; the reverb from striking that big empty chamber probably deafened him. This game was a fine example of how defense and special teams can flip a quarterback narrative. It was also an example of how good organizations find multiple paths to victory.
Looking Ahead: The Packers still have no margin for error, and the Bears are a tough out.
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Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A-
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This Week's Result: Buccaneers 45, Eagles 17
Offense (A+): Everything was awesome! Doug Martin rushed for 235 yards. Vincent Jackson caught just four passes (one a touchdown), but his presence had a ripple effect across the Buccaneers receiving corps.
Pass protection was outstanding. Jameis Winston did not just throw five touchdowns—he commanded the offense and made great decisions in the pocket. Touchdown totals come and go, but it's the skills that matter in a young quarterback's career.
Defense (B): The defense was shaky early. A dominant performance by the offense and some errant Mark Sanchez passing allowed the game to flow the defense's way.
Coaching/Special Teams (A): Chip Kelly's Eagles are clearly starting to doubt his methods. Lovie Smith's Buccaneers are just as clearly buying into the system and growing into their roles.
Looking Ahead: The tour of teams in disarray continues when the Buccaneers travel to Indianapolis.
Arizona Cardinals: B+
5 of 29
This Week's Result: Cardinals 34, Bengals 31
Offense (B+): Carson Palmer overcame early mistakes and fired fastballs downfield to J.J. Nelson (4-142-1) and others. Larry Fitzgerald (8-90-0 on 13 targets) kept the chains moving. The running game was as inconsistent as the passing game in the first half but provided a useful counterpunch in the third quarter.
Defense (B): Well-timed blitzes consistently blew up Andy Dalton's protection schemes. Downfield coverage on the Bengals' deep receivers was usually spandex-tight, even when Patrick Peterson was out of the game late in the fourth quarter.
The Cardinals gave up too much to Giovani Bernard and Tyler Eifert on underneath routes and weren't quite ready for the Bengals' many wrinkles. But they forced enough big plays—and eliminated enough Bengals big plays—to put the offense in position to win.
Coaching/Special Teams (B): The Cardinals enjoyed a big penalty edge, committing just 40 yards in fouls to the Bengals' 108. Bruce Arians' system is flexible enough to turn a fourth or fifth option like Nelson into a focal point when the matchups dictate. The Cardinals were cool and composed on their final field-goal drive but were flat for much of the first half and let the Bengals back in the game late.
Looking Ahead: A two-game NFC West road trip to stomp on the 49ers and Rams.
Seattle Seahawks: B+
6 of 29
This Week's Result: Seahawks 29, 49ers 13
Offense (A-): Thomas Rawls rushed for 209 yards and a score and added a 31-yard touchdown catch-and-run against a defense that wasn't too keen on tackling him.
Russell Wilson got better-than-usual protection (translation: He got some) and was able to move the ball with short passes over the middle and checkdowns, as opposed to just scrambles and miracles. Tyler Lockett caught two touchdown passes, using his speed to provide an underneath threat.
In summary, the Seahawks offense looked like a real offense for once.
Defense (B+): Blaine Gabbert and Shaun Draughn were able to keep the 49ers in the rearview mirror for a little too long. Overall, however, the Seahawks shut the 49ers down early to build a lead, then shut them down again after some mid-game sloppiness.
Coaching/Special Teams (B): You don't get a trophy for beating a bad team that doesn't look like it wants to be there.
Looking Ahead: A Super Bowl XL rematch against the Steelers gives fans a chance to remember a time when officiating was just terrible—not terrible and incomprehensible.
New England Patriots: B
7 of 29
This Week's Result: Patriots 20, Bills 13
Offense (C+): Tom Brady spent a shocking amount of time spraying passes at his receivers' feet and yelling at his blockers. The Patriots juggled offensive linemen in response to the Bills pass rush, and their running game accomplished more on paper than it did on the field (some third-and-long runs contributed to their 85 rushing yards).
Brady executed one quick-strike drive before halftime and another in the third quarter, threading passes to new targets (James White caught a touchdown pass) and old (Danny Amendola went 9-117-0). It turned out to be just enough.
Defense (B+): Tyrod Taylor's inaccuracy on deep passes made the Patriots defense look better than it really was. But overall, the run defense produced enough stops, while Patriots defenders arrived just in time to break up passes to seemingly open receivers.
Coaching/Special Teams (A): The Patriots got a turnover in the kicking game. Most teams wouldn't dare juggle offensive linemen in mid-game, but the Patriots made it work.
Looking Ahead: The Broncos defense saw what the Bills did and took copious notes.
Indianapolis Colts: B
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This Week's Result: Colts 24, Falcons 21
Offense (C): Matt Hasselbeck used everything but the Statue of Liberty play to get through the afternoon. Hasselbeck pump-faked and shovel-passed just enough for eight different targets to generate yards after the catch on short tosses. He was more like a point guard dishing dimes than a quarterback completing passes. Frank Gore and Ahmad Bradshaw combined for just 66 rushing yards but went 9-66-2 as receivers.
Defense (B): D'Qwell Jackson provided a pick-six, while Dwight Lowery hauled in a tip-drill interception in the Falcons end zone. The Colts generated more pass rush than their one sack would suggest and got a break when the injured Devonta Freeman gave way to the inexperienced Tevin Coleman.
Coaching/Special Teams (A): Pat McAfee pinned the Falcons at the 1-yard line with help from Donte Moncrief, who raced down the sideline to recover McAfee's flop shot. Adam Vinatieri did what he does best late in a close game. The offensive game plan fit the circumstances, and the Colts played smarter situational football than the Falcons.
Looking Ahead: The 5-5 Buccaneers no longer look like the cupcake many predicted before the season started.
Detroit Lions: B
9 of 29
This Week's Result: Lions 18, Raiders 13
Offense (C): The Lions offense is starting to look different after a month under coordinator Jim Bob Cooter. There are now full-house backfields, quad formations, power sweeps from shotgun formations and other innovations.
Not all of the wrinkles work (Golden Tate is not a short-yardage running back, folks), but the Raiders defense provides a great opportunity to try new things. Against the Raiders, Matthew Stafford appears to run as well as Russell Wilson, and Theo Riddick is as dangerous in the open field as Darren Sproles.
Defense (A-): Coordinator Teryl Austin remembered that he started the season as a fashionable head coaching candidate, looked around at the recently emptied offices around Lions headquarters and decided to take things up a notch.
Ziggy Ansah (one sack, an unofficial safety by drawing a holding call in the end zone) led a charge that destroyed the left side of the Raiders offensive line. The secondary held the Raiders to just two passes longer than 20 yards.
Coaching/Special Teams (B): Jim Caldwell and his staff are trying new things and have suddenly developed a knack for closing out tough games. It's amazing what you can accomplish after you watch your company's top brass turn in their swipe cards and push hand trucks through the parking lot.
Looking Ahead: Beating Chip Kelly's Eagles is a great way of separating yourself from the coaches with "Fire Me" signs on their backs.
Dallas Cowboys: B
10 of 29
This Week's Result: Cowboys 24, Dolphins 14
Offense (B): Tony Romo was rusty and threw a pair of interceptions, but it's amazing what competent quarterbacking can do for an offense.
Romo improvised and found his secondary targets to turn negative plays into positive ones. He got weapons like Terrance Williams and Gavin Escobar more meaningfully involved than they have been in weeks. Darren McFadden added 129 rushing yards.
Competent quarterbacking can impact the blocking and running game, too.
Defense (B+): Rolando McClain imitated Sean Lee by dropping into zone coverage and turning a shallow pass into a pick-six. The Dolphins had the ball for just 21 minutes and 10 seconds, so the Cowboys defense didn't have to do much else.
Coaching/Special Teams (B): This is how Cowboys football is designed to operate. The offense kills the clock with power running and Romo. The defense produces a few three-and-outs so the offense can keep grinding.
Each side works in harmony with the other. It wasn't perfect, but it was a reminder that the Cowboys won 12 games last year with almost the same personnel they fielded Sunday.
Looking Ahead: The Panthers are even money in Dallas, according to Odds Shark. The "Romo returns" narrative is a powerful narcotic, and fools and their money are easily parted.
Houston Texans: B
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This Week's Result: Texans 24, Jets 17
Offense (C+): DeAndre Hopkins, DeAndre Hopkins, DeAndre Hopkins, DeAndre Hopkins, some Cecil Short III Wildcat runs and option passes, and DeAndre Hopkins.
Defense (A-): J.J. Watt, J.J.—oh, you know how the Texans defense works.
Coaching/Special Teams (B+): The Texans committed just three penalties on an afternoon when they had no margin for error. Using Shorts as an all-purpose threat was a great way to milk a little extra offense out of the T.J. Yates Experience.
Looking Ahead: The Saints have a new defensive coordinator, but they are still the Saints. Hopkins is searching the Internet now to find out how to wash Brandon Browner handprints off a football jersey.
Jacksonville Jaguars: B
12 of 29
This Week's Result: Jaguars 19, Titans 13
Offense (C): Blake Bortles is an unusual young quarterback because he throws fairly well and runs fairly well but does not throw on the run well at all. That's a problem, because his offensive line cannot protect him for beans. Allen Robinson (5-113-0) had three catches of 20-plus yards. T.J. Yeldon (14-54-0, three catches) made the most of minimal blocking.
Defense (B): Maybe it was the general Conference USA quality of the game, but the Jaguars defense looked better than it has all year. Core defenders like Telvin Smith, Jared Odrick and Johnathan Cyprien all had big moments, while Davon House forced a key turnover and Andre Branch iced the game with a late sack.
Coaching/Special Teams (A-): Jason Myers kicked four field goals, Bryan Anger won the punting battle on a night when it mattered, and Rashad Greene spurred the comeback with a long return. Gus Bradley outcoached Mike Mularkey in the fourth quarter.
Looking Ahead: The Chargers come to town. Back-to-back home games against manageable opponents? Since when do the Jaguars get back-to-back home games against manageable opponents? Quick, ship them off to Canberra for the first Aussie Classic or something!
Denver Broncos: B
13 of 29
This Week's Result: Broncos 17, Bears 15
Offense (C+): Brock Osweiler (250 yards, two touchdowns) made the throws he had to make and managed the game like an extension of Gary Kubiak's unimaginative will on the field. Ronnie Hillman and C.J. Anderson combined for 161 rushing yards and fought for extra yardage at the ends of runs.
Defense (B): There wasn't much defensive shock and awe, as Jay Cutler endured just two sacks and turned coverage lapses (and lots of second-half defensive penalties) into productive drives. But the Broncos defended the red zone exceptionally well, forcing the Bears to settle for field goals and stuffing a game-ending two-point-conversion attempt.
Coaching/Special Teams (B+): Late-game penalties by experienced defenders like T.J. Ward and Aqib Talib were a problem; the Broncos are going to lose a game on a roughing-the-passer or pass-interference penalty one of these days.
But the transition to Osweiler was handled smoothly, and the ball-control-and-defense game plan made logical sense, even if it was a little too "2012 Texans" for the tastes of anyone who remembers what the Patriots did to that team.
Looking Ahead: Brady-Osweiler I? Kinda lacks zing.
Cincinnati Bengals: C+
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This Week's Result: Cardinals 34, Bengals 31
Offense (B-): The pass protection deteriorated as the game went on; blockers might as well have been pushing defenders into Andy Dalton by the fourth quarter.
Dalton kept chucking deep passes along the sidelines, but A.J. Green and Marvin Jones were well-covered, and Dalton's passes rarely dropped right onto their fingertips. Dalton scrapped, battled and scrambled, used Gio Bernard (8-128-0) as a blitz-breaker and got the Bengals back into the game at the end.
Defense (C+): The Bengals defense forced some turnovers early and critical stops late. In between, it didn't have the depth in the secondary to handle all the speed.
Coaching/Special Teams (C): The Bengals remain unstoppable in goal-line situations thanks to their vast array of weapons and wrinkles. But they played just well enough to lose to top competition Sunday night. Penalties erased big plays.
Coordinator Hue Jackson was slow to react to the fact that the Bengals just couldn't pick up the Cardinals blitz.
The Bengals have a habit of snoozing for a quarter or so even in their signature games (see Seahawks, Steelers) and need to play 60 strong minutes against top contenders to prove they are not the team the doubters (and close observers of the last two weeks) suspect they are.
Looking Ahead: The Rams are a danger to themselves and others. Mostly themselves. But the Bengals cannot take chances.
Chicago Bears: C+
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This Week's Result: Broncos 17, Bears 15
Offense (C): Jay Cutler found every weakness in the Broncos pass coverage, hitting Marquess Wilson (4-102-0) and Joshua Bellamy (4-57-0) for big gains. The handful of deep passes were all the Bears could muster offensively, however.
Jeremy Langford and the running game went nowhere, and Cutler couldn't find open receivers when the Broncos used the back of the end zone as an extra defender.
Defense (B-): The Bears stopped the Broncos at the goal line after an interception and forced four three-and-outs, including one late in the game. Five different defenders recorded sacks. The Bears just needed a little more to change momentum: stouter run defense; fewer easy passes for Brock Osweiler; a turnover.
Coaching/Special Teams (B): Robbie Gould kicked three field goals. The Bears did not commit a single penalty on a day when they knew they had no margin for error. One look at the talent on both sidelines tells you the Bears played their hearts out to keep this game close enough to tie in the final minute.
Looking Ahead: The Bears need to up the intensity just a little more for their rematch with the Packers at Lambeau.
Buffalo Bills: C
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This Week's Result: Patriots 20, Bills 13
Offense (C): Tyrod Taylor flung many passes to open receivers along the deep sidelines. A few found their targets. Others were broken up at the last moment or dropped.
The near-miss bombs doomed the Bills: One LeSean McCoy drop (with Devin McCourty arriving at the last second to impact the catch) turned a near-touchdown into a missed field goal, then a Patriots touchdown drive, in the final minute of the first half. McCoy ran well. Taylor struggled with his short accuracy.
Defense (B+): Rex Ryan shifted linemen all over the formation, threatened blitzes, blitzed, dropped eight defenders into coverage and harassed and frustrated Tom Brady all night. However, all the Patriots need is a missed tackle and blown coverage or two to make even the best defense pay.
Coaching/Special Teams (C-): Leodis McKelvin fumbled a punt return, setting up a Patriots field goal. Dan Carpenter banged a field goal off an upright. The defensive game plan was brilliant, but the offensive game plan relied an awful lot on Taylor and Chris Hogan emerging as a top-tier big-play combination.
Looking Ahead: If you like blitzing, you'll love Bills-Chiefs.
Baltimore Ravens: C
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This Week's Result: Ravens 16, Rams 13
Offense (D): The only thing worse than watching Joe Flacco stumble around throwing passes to a bunch of nobodies and wondering what happened to his running game is knowing you'll have to watch Matt Schaub do the same thing for the rest of the season. Schaub with no run support is a long, dark tunnel into a desolate valley.
Defense (C+): Case Keenum is such an awful quarterback that the Ravens should have pitched a shutout. For every tacky penalty that went against the Ravens, there were two inexcusably dumb ones. Still, the Ravens only allowed 213 offensive yards, so let's not grade them too harshly.
Coaching/Special Teams (C): Justin Tucker kicked a game-winner but also missed a pair of 51-yarders. The Ravens continue to be plagued by lack-of-composure penalties.
Now that the season is irrevocably lost, maybe John Harbaugh and his staff can focus on fundamentals and developing young talent instead of pushing and shoving toward slim playoff hopes.
Looking Ahead: Matt Schaub vs. Johnny Manziel on Monday night. Jon Gruden may fake laryngitis to get out of this one.
Tennessee Titans: C-
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This Week's Result: Jaguars 19, Titans 13
Offense (C-): The whole did not equal the sum of its parts. Marcus Mariota's accuracy on stick throws down the field needs work. Delanie Walker (8-109-0) is a better complementary threat than focal point. Phillip Supernaw (late-game fumble) should not be on the field in critical situations.
Neither the Titans nor the Jaguars exactly put on an offensive line clinic. Bad starting field position (the Titans' average drive started at their 19-yard line) led to a lot of drives that ended in made or missed field goals.
Defense (B+): Thirteen of the Jaguars' 19 points came on drives of 36, five and nine yards.
Coaching/Special Teams (D): Rashad Greene's 63-yard punt return breathed life into the Jaguars. A dumb fair-catch interference penalty on another return gave the Jaguars excellent field position for a field-goal drive.
Mike Mularkey became ultra-conservative early in the fourth quarter with a four-point lead, then put the ball in the hands of a No. 3 tight end who should be about the 12th option in the offense.
Looking Ahead: The Raiders arrive to show the Titans how rebuilding can be done.
Oakland Raiders: C-
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This Week's Result: Lions 18, Raiders 13
Offense (D): Left tackle Donald Penn was manhandled by Ziggy Ansah and other defenders all day. Penn held Ansah in the end zone, resulting in a game-clinching safety. He also allowed a sack, and the left side of the line was the culprit behind several Latavius Murray stuffs.
Derek Carr could not get the ball snapped on time (two delay-of-game penalties) or the ball downfield to his top targets. Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree combined for just seven catches for 54 yards on 15 targets.
Defense (C): The Raiders coped with their usual manpower shortage reasonably well. Their only chance to keep Calvin Johnson and Golden Tate (there isn't a soul in their secondary who can cover either of them) from dancing through their end zone all day was to create lots of room underneath for Theo Riddick and Matthew Stafford's unexpected Randall Cunningham impersonation.
The Raiders defense did a fine job holding the Lions to field goals once they had the back of the end zone working for them.
Coaching/Special Teams (C+): Marquette King banged a 66-yard punt and dropped three others inside the 20-yard line. Sebastian Janikowski provided much of the offense.
The Raiders really needed to find a way to win this game. The "not enough talent" excuse wears thin when you have a lead on a weak opponent and a chance to halt a losing streak.
Looking Ahead: The Titans provide one last chance for the Raiders to reclaim their status as darling up-and-comers.
Atlanta Falcons: C-
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This Week's Result: Colts 24, Falcons 21
Offense (C-): Matt Ryan had his typical 2015 afternoon. He rifled enough tight passes to Julio Jones (9-160-0) to remind you of how good he could be, then mixed off-target throws with interceptions and looked helpless when the pocket started collapsing.
The drop-off from Devonta Freeman (concussion) to Tevin Coleman was significant: Coleman fumbled deep in Falcons territory and couldn't haul in several checkdown passes in traffic.
Defense (C): Paul Worrilow and Ricardo Allen intercepted passes. The Colts offense couldn't move the ball at all for most of the first half. But Matt Hasselbeck had too much time to throw, Akeem King committed a 20-yard pass-interference foul to set up a touchdown and the Falcons gave up too many easy yards on the final Colts field-goal drive.
Coaching/Special Teams (C-): Matt Bryant missed an early field goal. The Falcons held 14-0 and 21-7 leads against a team whose quarterback probably cannot throw 35 yards downfield without needing a heating pad on his shoulder afterward. Dan Quinn and his staff must learn how to put away games like this.
Looking Ahead: The Falcons face the Vikings in a battle of self-doubting wild-card hopefuls.
Miami Dolphins: C-
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This Week's Result: Cowboys 24, Dolphins 14
Offense (D+): The Dolphins only ran 41 offensive plays, so it was hard to tell what they were trying to accomplish, especially since one of the plays was a pick-six.
Defense (C): The Dolphins forced some early Tony Romo mistakes but allowed touchdown drives of 80 and 93 yards. Late in the game, the run defense lost the will to tackle anyone.
Coaching/Special Teams (D): Dan Campbell's tough guys got beat physically. Who could have anticipated that? (Answer: Anyone who figured out 20 years ago that tougher practices wear players out instead of making them more "physical.")
Looking Ahead: The last time the Dolphins faced the Jets, their head coach got fired for games much like the one Miami just played against the Cowboys.
New York Jets: C-
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This Week's Result: Texans 24, Jets 17
Offense (C-): Could someone please tell the Jets they are not an effective deep-passing team? On the rare occasions Ryan Fitzpatrick does not underthrow his target, either Devin Smith drops the ball or Brandon Marshall alligator-arms the catch.
Fitzpatrick also has a knack for throwing behind receivers over the middle. Then again, there is only so much a quarterback can do when J.J. Watt keeps throwing Breno Giacomini in his face.
Defense (C): Darrelle Revis is going to give up a touchdown to the likes of DeAndre Hopkins now and then. Antonio Cromartie will gamble for interceptions and give up long completions to Cecil Shorts III once in a while.
But the Jets cannot afford to react to Shorts lined up as a Wildcat quarterback like they are witnessing the Northern Lights for the first time, or get so worn down in the third quarter that Alfred Blue looks like Marshawn Lynch.
Coaching/Special Teams (C-): The Jets aren't the team they think they are. Todd Bowles must make sure his staff isn't asking players to do things they cannot really do.
Looking Ahead: Dolphins vs. Jets. The usual AFC East quasi-interesting undercard.
Minnesota Vikings: D+
23 of 29
This Week's Result: Packers 30, Vikings 13
Offense (D): Teddy Bridgewater probably felt like the pinata at Bryce Harper's birthday party after enduring six sacks and 10 knockdowns. Bridgewater did not help his cause by trying to Michael Vick his way out of sacks by spinning backward; Bridgewater is not that fast, so the highlight-stick move just turned five-yard sacks into 10-yard sacks.
When not getting pummeled, Bridgewater sprayed passes to every eligible receiver he could find, as usual. But Adrian Peterson fumbled, Mike Wallace dropped one of two passes thrown his way and there is only so much Zach Line and MyCole Pruitt can do for you as receivers when the Packers are pulling away.
Defense (C): The Vikings applied lots of early pressure on Aaron Rodgers but made just enough early mistakes (like Terence Newman's pass-interference foul before halftime) to tilt the field away from them.
Coaching/Special Teams (D): Blair Walsh missed an extra point. The coverage unit allowed a long return. Cordarrelle Patterson ran a kickoff back 52 yards before realizing he hadn't done anything disappointing all afternoon and promptly head-butted Mason Crosby to draw a flag.
Bridgewater's pass protection got worse as the game went on. Norv Turner needs a better set of counter-adjustments, or else he will lose his prized prospect before he can truly blossom.
Looking Ahead: If the Falcons sack Bridgewater six times, either something has gone horribly wrong or the teams decided to play a four-game series.
San Francisco 49ers: D
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This Week's Result: Seahawks 29, 49ers 13
Offense (D+): There was a lot of Bay Area chatter about Blaine Gabbert's tough/poised/gutsy performance. Gabbert wasn't terrible, if you ignore the two dropped interceptions and the fact the score was 20-0 before he started to catch the defense napping.
He certainly played with more heart than the run defense. But Gabbert is getting praise for the kind of game that drew criticism for Colin Kaepernick: The invisible hand of quarterback popularity and expectations is at work when the spunky backup starts getting praised for "poise" in a blowout loss.
Gabbert had a reputation as a stumblebum in Jacksonville but has always been capable of leading NFL teams to 29-13 defeats.
Defense (D-): NaVorro Bowman said the 49ers prepared for Marshawn Lynch and weren't ready for Thomas Rawls. Rawls, who is smaller and less powerful than Lynch, barreled right through the 49ers defense for 209 rushing yards.
What were they exactly "prepared" to do against Lynch—run away screaming like extras in a Godzilla movie?
Coaching/Special Teams (D): Jim Tomsula ordered several punts in the fourth quarter when trailing by 16, once near midfield. Yes, they were 4th-and-long situations, but it's troubling to see a coach resort to make-it-look-good tactics with over 12 minutes left.
Ahmad Brooks admitted he had a hard time getting up for the game. Think about that: A veteran 49ers player had a hard time getting motivated to play the Seahawks. Maybe the knowledge that his coach would play to cover the spread instead of win was somehow counter-motivational.
Looking Ahead: The 49ers strive to maintain a few shreds of dignity against the Cardinals.
Washington Redskins: D
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This Week's Result: Panthers 44, Redskins 16
Offense (F): The 56-yard DeSean Jackson touchdown you saw on the highlight reel was just about the only thing the Redskins did right on offense. Kirk Cousins got strip-sacked twice and threw an early interception. Matt Jones and Alfred Morris combined for zero yards and a fumble on seven carries. The pass protection fell apart once the Panthers had the lead.
Defense (D): Ryan Kerrigan gets an A for a big sack on Cam Newton and for chasing ball-carriers all over the field like he was the only guy drawing a paycheck. Everyone else on defense gets an F for letting the Panthers methodically churn down the field time after time.
Coaching/Special Teams (C): Andre Roberts nearly made a game of things with his kick-return touchdown. The early game plan looked promising but got buried under an avalanche of fumbles.
The Redskins need to find a balance between generating memes after wins and face-planting against every decent opponent. History suggests this franchise will explode if shook up and down too much.
Looking Ahead: A rematch with the Giants, who know they can seize the NFC East by just minding their own business and not doing anything dumb.
St. Louis Rams: D-
26 of 29
This Week's Result: Ravens 16, Rams 13
Offense (F): There is nothing NFL about Case Keenum. Throwing him on the field unprepared was bad. Leaving him in despite an obvious head injury was inexcusable.
Defense (B): The Report Card staff cut-and-pasted "Offense: F, Defense: B" for the Rams 16 times at the start of the season, and we haven't regretted the decision. Aaron Donald personally escorted Justin Forsett to the injured reserve. Mark Barron came down from the safety position to record three tackles for a loss. The Ravens only won because the Rams offense gave them multiple late-game opportunities.
Coaching/Special Teams (F): Jeff Fisher and his staff replaced a bad quarterback with NFL attributes with a career third-stringer who could barely throw 30 yards down the field. Then they played see-no-evil with the NFL's concussion protocols rather than give Nick Foles a chance to enter the game and make the Keenum experiment look stupid.
When not endangering Keenum, the Rams coaches were making Wes Welker block for punt returns. Fisher and Co. weren't just inept—they were irresponsible.
Looking Ahead: A Bengals upset would be just the kind of thing that saves Jeff Fisher's job. Even Rams fans should probably be rooting against an upset at this point.
San Diego Chargers: D-
27 of 29
This Week's Result: Chiefs 33, Chargers 3
Offense (D): Pass protection was awful. The running game was nonexistent. Philip Rivers was out of sync and forced to scramble often, which isn't pretty. The Chargers avoid an F because there is only so much a quarterback can do when his receiving corps is reduced to people named Dontrelle Inman and Javontee Herndon.
Defense (D): The Chiefs controlled the ball for 33 minutes and 28 seconds. The Chargers recorded three sacks, but two of them occurred after the Chiefs built a 19-3 lead. A converted fullback rushed for 96 yards and two touchdowns. A 346-pound nose tackle scored a third touchdown.
Coaching/Special Teams (F): Herndon muffed a punt, providing another misadventure in the Chargers' year of historically bad punt returning. The punt-return problem is a symptom of an overall malaise in the Chargers organization.
Sunday was an opportunity to come off the bye and make a statement at home. In a way, that's what they did.
Looking Ahead: A trip to Jacksonville. So yes, things can get worse.
Philadelphia Eagles: F
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This Week's Result: Buccaneers 45, Eagles 17
Offense (D): Mark Sanchez threw three interceptions. Receivers Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor, who are supposed to be the Eagles' top playmakers in the passing game, somehow caught seven passes for just 24 yards.
For an offense built around such a small set of core plays, Chip Kelly's system doesn't often appear coordinated. Play calls fall into predictable patterns instead of flowing from one another (run to set up play-action, misdirection counters off the standard plays) in some logical sequence.
Defense (F): It looked like Rob Ryan coaching a Pop Warner team full of kids whose dads forced them to play.
Coaching/Special Teams (F): The Eagles looked a lot like a team that no longer believes in the system or the coaching staff.
Looking Ahead: Thanksgiving in Detroit. Chip Kelly is the kind of guy who tries to deep-fry a turkey, sets the kitchen on fire, burns the outside of the turkey, barely defrosts the middle, serves it anyway and blames you for misunderstanding his turkey concept.
Year-to-Date GPAs
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Here are the year-to-date GPAs for all 32 teams. You know how GPAs work: An A is worth 4.0, a B 3.0 and so on down to the 0.0 you earned during that semester when you completed every single quest in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Keep in mind that there are now 10 grades for every club. A recent B-plus or two won't move your favorite team onto the honor roll.
1. New England Patriots: 3.69
2. Cincinnati Bengals: 3.39
3. Carolina Panthers: 3.29
4. Arizona Cardinals: 3.07
5. Green Bay Packers: 3.04
6. Denver Broncos: 2.87
7. Minnesota Vikings: 2.73
8. Atlanta Falcons: 2.65
9. Kansas City Chiefs: 2.62
10. Pittsburgh Steelers: 2.51
11. New York Giants: 2.48
12. Oakland Raiders: 2.43
13. Seattle Seahawks: 2.39
14. New York Jets: 2.34
15. Chicago Bears: 2.33
16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 2.21
17. New Orleans Saints: 2.19
18. Washington Redskins: 2.18
19. Buffalo Bills: 2.15
20. St. Louis Rams: 2.03
21. Miami Dolphins: 1.98
22. Cleveland Browns: 1.93
23. Baltimore Ravens: 1.92
24. Houston Texans: 1.89
25. Detroit Lions: 1.87
26. Philadelphia Eagles: 1.87
27. Indianapolis Colts: 1.85
28. San Diego Chargers: 1.74
29. Tennessee Titans: 1.73
30. Dallas Cowboys: 1.70
31. San Francisco 49ers: 1.66
32. Jacksonville Jaguars: 1.65
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.jpg?w=480 "Cowboys Panthers Football")
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.jpg?w=480 "Eagles Chargers Football")
.jpg?w=480 "RAIDERS-MENDOZA")
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