NFL Report Cards: Team-by-Team Grades for Week 10
In this week's Report Cards...
• Jay Cutler and Kirk Cousins receive praise. Aaron Rodgers receives criticism. Peyton Manning receives pity.
• The Steelers prove long bombs are all you need, as long as you complete a whole bunch of them.
• The Patriots prove they are mortal without really getting carried away with the concept.
• The Cardinals lower the boom on a certain increasingly foreign legion.
• Hard questions are asked about the Packers offense and Raiders defense. We've pretty much given up on the Rams offense and Saints defense.
• The "Cam Newton for MVP" campaign is thoroughly debunked. (No reason to read the slide to see if there's an ironic twist, Panthers fans: Spam our inbox immediately!)
• We go above and beyond in our Jaguars-Ravens coverage by bothering to spell both "Posluszny" and "Juszczyk."
And much more.
A reminder: These are the weekly report cards, not the power rankings. Each team gets a clean slate each week. Click to the end to see the year-to-date GPAs.
Kansas City Chiefs: A
1 of 29
This Week’s Result: Chiefs 29, Broncos 13
Offense (C+): This was your typical post-Jamaal Charles offensive effort by the Chiefs: Alex Smith scrambling and option-keeping for 33 yards, five short Travis Kelce catches, some De'Anthony Thomas misdirection, almost no downfield completions to wide receivers and one 80-yard Charcandrick West catch-and-scamper when the Broncos defense was selling out for a big play. The Chiefs probably would have scored about 13 points if the Broncos didn't keep giving them the ball with great field position.
Defense (A+): Eric Berry, Josh Mauga, Ron Parker, Marcus Peters and Sean Smith each intercepted a pass; their efforts got lost in the OMG Peyton Manning is sooo finished narrative. Justin Houston had two of the Chiefs' five sacks.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): Cairo Santos kicked five field goals (he missed one), allowing the Chiefs to pull away when their offense couldn't do much more than move a turnover about eight yards down the field. The Chiefs’ three-game winning streak has been an example of the Andy Reid system at its finest. Reid’s teams don’t earn many style points, but they never quit and always show up focused and prepared.
Looking Ahead: A win in San Diego will put the Chiefs squarely back in the playoff picture.
Washington Redskins: A
2 of 29
This Week’s Result: Redskins 47, Saints 14
Offense (A+): The Redskins did whatever they wanted. Kirk Cousins (four touchdowns, five incompletions) just had to hit open receivers in stride and then pose for the highlight montage. The four-headed backfield (even fullback Darrel Young got in on the fun) ran to the outside from tight formations and watched the Saints lag in pursuit. When the Redskins tried something creative like a screen pass to Matt Jones, the Saints reacted like they were watching Imax for the first time.
Defense (B): The Saints scored a pair of easy touchdowns early. Perry Riley and Dashon Goldson provided some late interceptions to quell a hypothetical Saints rally. The offense did most of the heavy lifting, but this could have been more of a 47-31 game if the defense didn’t pitch in with a few stops.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): Dustin Hopkins kicked four field goals, three of them at points in the game when a Saints comeback was still possible. The offensive game plan was ideal for beating the Saints. Then again, most offensive game plans are ideal for beating the Saints.
Looking Ahead: Cousins is due for one of his regularly scheduled bad games, and the Redskins are traveling to Carolina. Coincidence? Probably not.
Carolina Panthers: A-
3 of 29
This Week’s Result: Panthers 27, Titans 10
Offense (B+): Cam Newton had his most efficient passing day of the season, throwing just five incompletions while mixing downfield strikes with wise checkdowns. Greg Olsen gave a tour-de-force performance as a receiver (eight catches for 80 yards, most of them on the Panthers’ first two scoring drives) and a blocker (watch him on Jonathan Stewart’s runs). The only blemishes: five sacks and some uncharacteristic short-yardage stops.
Defense (A): The Panthers front seven dominated the line of scrimmage, generating seven tackles for loss and several others for no gain. Once the Titans were one-dimensional, the Panthers secondary enjoyed the easy life.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Graham Gano made a pair of field goals. Brad Nortman had a fine punting day, keeping the Titans pinned in their own territory. A penalty on a Ted Ginn punt return touchdown spoiled a great afternoon for Carolina's special teams. The Panthers committed just five penalties and controlled the clock even when they weren’t scoring points. Those of you agitating for a Cam Newton MVP award need to watch this game and consider switching to a Ron Rivera Coach of the Year campaign: This was a team win, with all three phases working in harmony.
Looking Ahead: The Redskins have also been working in harmony lately. There’s no way that’s going to last next week in Carolina.
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Pittsburgh Steelers: A-
4 of 29
This Week’s Result: Steelers 30, Browns 9
Offense (A-): Ben Roethlisberger took shotgun snaps, stood stationary to avoid putting stress on a sprained foot that was supposed to sideline him for several weeks and lofted a series of 20-to-60-yard bombs to Antonio Brown and Martavis Bryant. It was surreal, like your nephew who only knows one play (Four Verticals) playing Madden on the "toddler" difficulty setting. The Steelers offensive line gave Roethlisberger time to throw, but the offense did little else of note: minimal running until the end of the game; not much of a short game. Maybe we've overcomplicated this whole concept of football strategy a little bit.
Defense (A-): The Steelers generated six sacks and three turnovers (one an unforced Johnny Manziel blooper fumble) while holding the Browns to 15 rushing yards, 17 of them by Manziel. Yes, the Browns running game went backward when Manziel wasn’t scrambling.
Special Teams/Coaching (B-): Jacoby Jones is a disaster as a return man; Jones joined the Steelers roster and proceeded to nearly fumble a return near his own goal line. We’ve marveled at the single-mindedness of coordinator Todd Haley’s game plans in the past, but there was something remarkable about the way he kept Roethlisberger in the pocket, throwing deep passes through the fourth quarter. The Steelers were one frustrated Browns blitzer away from a season-ending disaster, but they survived until the next time Roethlisberger is asked to do everything by himself.
Looking Ahead: Bye week. Roethlisberger will accept foot donations. Size 14 or larger only, please.
Arizona Cardinals: A-
5 of 29
This Week’s Result: Cardinals 39, Seahawks 32
Offense (B+): At the beginning and end of the game, Carson Palmer (363 yards, three touchdowns) picked the Seahawks apart, not just by playing Whack-a-Williams (the usual anti-Seahawks passing strategy), but also by finding soft spots between or in front of the charter Legionnaires. At the end, Palmer led a pair of clutch, methodical touchdown drives. In the middle of the game, Mike Iupati’s injury caused a pass-protection crisis that resulted in two turnovers and some rushed Palmer throws.
Defense (B): Take away 14 points off turnovers and a desperate late field goal by the Seahawks, and you get a truer sense of how well the Cardinals defense played. Like most Seahawks opponents, they gave up some big plays when Russell Wilson broke containment in the pocket. Also like most Seahawks opponents, they made sure Wilson never really had a pocket in the first place.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): More solid coaching and preparation from Bruce Arians and Co. The Cardinals were particularly impressive after the Seahawks' comeback, shrugging off the Iupati panic and a pair of fumbles with methodical drives and big plays against a defense famous for taking over games.
Looking Ahead: Bengals-Cardinals in prime time: A showdown you never imagined you would look forward to.
Minnesota Vikings: B+
6 of 29
This Week’s Result: Vikings 30, Raiders 14
Offense (B+): Adrian Peterson rushed for 203 yards, 154 of them in the second half. The Vikings offensive line wore out the Raiders' interior defense as the game went on. Teddy Bridgewater distributed exactly two passes to nine different receivers on the Vikings roster as if he were splitting up the cupcakes at a birthday party.
Defense (B): Terence Newman intercepted two passes. Linval Joseph had another fine day on the interior line. But the Raiders moved the ball very well before a kickoff-return touchdown and acts of Peterson forced them to become one-dimensional.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Cordarrelle Patterson did a very Cordarrelle Patterson thing by turning a muffed kick into a 93-yard touchdown. Blair Walsh missed a long field goal and had a short one blocked. Coordinator Norv Turner realized that the middle of the Raiders defensive line was buckling and used Peterson like a patio tamper.
Looking Ahead: The first-place (!) Vikings try to take a two-game lead on the Packers.
Chicago Bears: B+
7 of 29
This Week’s Result: Bears 37, Rams 13
Offense (A): Jay Cutler is 10 times more fun to watch now that there are no expectations on him. Cutler threw three touchdown passes and just five incompletions as he deftly sidestepped the Rams pass rush and distributed short throws into soft spots on the field. Zach Miller (5-107-2) and Jeremy Langford (182 scrimmage yards, two touchdowns) looked like Olympic sprinters against a Rams secondary that wasn’t in a chasing mood.
Defense (B): The Bears survived a shaky start, realized that the Rams offense only has two guys (one of whom only runs sideways) and made life easy for itself by shutting down Todd Gurley. The offense helped the defense by mounting a lead: The Rams are like a turtle on its back when down by more than a touchdown.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Marc Mariani is a human punt-muffing machine and needs to be replaced ASAP. Otherwise, John Fox and his staff assembled an excellent game plan for beating a team with superior talent on paper.
Looking Ahead: The Bears stand on the field and watch as the Broncos battle mortality itself.
New England Patriots: B
8 of 29
This Week’s Result: Patriots 27, Giants 26
Offense (C+): Tom Brady threw an interception in the red zone, lost a fumble and suffered three sacks as he tried to make do with a depleted offensive line and skill-position corps. Rob Gronkowski (5-113-1), Danny Amendola (10-79-0 and a huge punt return) and others stepped up to fill the void left by Julian Edelman and Dion Lewis. But the Patriots were several near-misses—a fumble recovered by Bryan Stork, Landon Collins’ near-interception in the fourth quarter—from their first loss of the year.
Defense (C): Giants receivers were open all afternoon. Patriots defenders committed three pass interference penalties when not a stride away from the play. Solid run defense and timely sacks by Rob Ninkovich and others kept the Giants from pulling away until the Patriots figured out a way to win.
Special Teams/Coaching (A+): Stephen Gostkowski won the game with a 54-yard field goal. Amendola halted a momentum swing with a long punt return to set up a touchdown. The Patriots won with smart situational football and cool-headed decision-making on a day when nothing was going their way. This was a fine example of why the Patriots are a dynasty: Sometimes you beat Brady, sometimes you outsmart Bill Belichick, but rarely do you do enough to defeat the entire franchise.
Looking Ahead: Super Bowl II in New England for Rex Ryan’s Bills.
Detroit Lions: B
9 of 29
This Week’s Result: Lions 18, Packers 16
Offense (D+): The running game needed an 11-yard end-around from Golden Tate to generate 45 rushing yards and 1.7 yards per carry. The Lions had one real touchdown drive. On a positive note, Calvin Johnson caught six passes for 81 yards despite lots of double coverage: no more looking away automatically when Johnson is doubled.
Defense (A): Coverage was great all afternoon. The pass rush frequently flushed Aaron Rodgers. Yards after catch or on the second level were hard to come by. It wasn't a flashy defensive effort, but the Lions handled their assignments perfectly against an opponent whose only playmaker is the guy pulling the trigger.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Ameer Abdullah broke the game open with his 104-yard kickoff return. The Lions converted a 4th-and-inches situation that didn’t lead immediately to points, but it helped pin the Packers deep and set up a Lions field goal just before halftime.
Looking Ahead: The Raiders pose a tougher test for the Lions defense than the Packers. Wait...what???
Miami Dolphins: B
10 of 29
This Week’s Result: Dolphins 20, Eagles 19
Offense (C+): Coordinator Bill Lazor tried to out-Chip Kelly Chip Kelly. The Dolphins offense was full of misdirection plays and other gadgetry. The crafty game plan yielded inconsistent results, but it generated just enough big plays to keep the Eagles defense honest and the Dolphins in the game until Jarvis Landry could catch a carom off Connor Barwin’s helmet for the go-ahead touchdown.
Defense (B): The Dolphins bent but didn’t break. More appropriately, they bent but kept breaking Eagles players. Sam Bradford, Ryan Mathews and Jordan Matthews all missed part or all of the game after brutal hits. The remaining Eagles were just good enough to march down the field and beat themselves.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): Zach Vigil’s blocked punt changed the course of the game, and it was made possible by a clever special teams play call by coordinator Darren Rizzi. The Dolphins bounced back from a pair of losses to deliver a resilient comeback road win.
Looking Ahead: The Cowboys head to Miami. Ndamukong Suh and Greg Hardy in one stadium. Vince McMahon demands a cut.
Houston Texans: B
11 of 29
This Week’s Result: Texans 10, Bengals 6
Offense (D+): Brian Hoyer suffered an apparent concussion and gave way to T.J. Yates, but it doesn’t really matter who quarterbacks the Texans. Their offense consists of non-productive runs, passes short of the sticks and lots of loitering until DeAndre Hopkins does something special. Hopkins did exactly one special thing, but it was all the Texans needed.
Defense (A+): J.J. Watt and the front seven took complete control of this game. The Bengals could not run consistently, and Andy Dalton was never comfortable in the pocket. Even with Watt out of the game late in the fourth quarter, the Texans pass rush generated sacks and rushed throws.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Random revealing moment: When the Texans drove to the goal line, they attempted a Patriots-style hurry-up running play before the Bengals could get lined up. Awww, how cute: just like their big brothers in Foxborough. Unfortunately, the Bengals got set before the Texans and stuffed the play. It looks so simple when Tom Brady does it. Bill O’Brien’s staff was at its best when Yates entered the game, countering the Bengals blitz with plenty of protection so Yates could make just enough plays to squeak out a win.
Looking Ahead: A visit from the Jets could spark a very depressing case of quarterback envy for the Texans.
Buffalo Bills: B-
12 of 29
This Week’s Result: Bills 22, Jets 17
Offense (C): LeSean McCoy (159 total yards) and Karlos Williams (50 total yards, a 26-yard touchdown catch) kept the Bills alive by gashing the Jets up the middle or on short receptions when they blitzed. Tyrod Taylor spent much of the game running for his life but played turnover-free football on a rainy night against a tough defense.
Defense (B): Bacarri Rambo produced two defensive turnovers. Ronald Darby broke up three passes on an evening when the Jets were determined to throw deep. The run defense was ordinary, but the Bills took away just about everything else.
Special Teams/Coaching (C+): Rambo’s forced fumble on a kickoff return put the Bills in control of the game. Dan Carpenter made three field goals but missed an extra point, and there was much bumbling on a Garrison Sanborn-to-Colton Schmidt punt late in the game. (Poor long snappers: only mentioned when they screw up. Sanborn has been in the NFL for six years, and here he is getting slagged in a game his team won.) The Bills looked unprepared for the Jets blitz in the first half. But they committed just five penalties and didn’t make a bunch of dumb mistakes in an effort to prove something to Rex.
Looking Ahead: A Monday night trip to Foxborough. Maybe they should have gotten a few more of those dumb mistakes out of their system.
Jacksonville Jaguars: B-
13 of 29
This Week’s Result: Jaguars 22, Ravens 20
Offense (C): Blake Bortles made some tight-window throws, and T.J. Yeldon had some slippery runs. The Jaguars converted Ravens turnovers into enough points to stay in the game. They won on a moronic facemask penalty and a long field goal, folks: Don’t hop on the Jaguars' offensive bandwagon just yet.
Defense (B): Davon House intercepted a pair of passes. Telvin Smith and Paul Posluszny combined for 22 total tackles, and for once they weren’t just knocking down the ball-carriers running right into them to chew up the clock. The Jaguars defense got dual breaks from the depleted Ravens receiving corps and a game plan that allowed them to forget about the run for most of the afternoon.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Jason Myers nailed a 53-yard game-winning field goal. The Jaguars committed just four penalties and did a fine job of not beating themselves on the road.
Looking Ahead: Titans-Jaguars on Thursday Night Football. Have you ever tried getting a jump on your holiday shopping? Thursday night will be a great opportunity to get a jump on your holiday shopping.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: C+
14 of 29
This Week’s Result: Buccaneers 10, Cowboys 6
Offense (D+): Jameis Winston still thinks he can throw footballs through solid matter (like defensive backs) or get them to curve into receivers' arms at the last second. Mike Evans (8-126-0) is becoming the receiver who makes the toughest catches but drops the easiest ones, and Winston has no one else to throw to with Vincent Jackson hurt. But Doug Martin (103 scrimmage yards) churns out reliable yardage, and Winston’s daring style provides just enough big plays to offset the head-scratching moments.
Defense (B): The run defense allowed just two yards per rush, forcing the Cowboys into obvious passing downs that made life easier for the secondary. Lavonte David recorded 12 total tackles and a sack. Bradley McDougald sealed the game with a last-minute interception. No, Cowboys fans, no one wants to see your pass interference GIFs.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Connor Barth missed a makable field goal. Lovie Smith blitzed just often enough to keep the Cowboys guessing and Matt Cassel from getting comfortable. The Buccaneers didn’t do anything to beat themselves, instead letting the Cowboys give them a Ted Talk on how that’s done.
Looking Ahead: A trip to Philly. Did someone say “team that beats itself”?
New York Giants: C+
15 of 29
This Week’s Result: Patriots 27, Giants 26
Offense (B): The only way the Patriots could cover Odell Beckham Jr. (4-104-1), Dwayne Harris (6-82-1) and the other Giants receivers was by grabbing for dear life. But the Giants offense was somehow less than the sum of its parts. Eli Manning fumbled in the red zone and drove backward 11 yards after getting the ball deep in Patriots territory, eliminating a field-goal opportunity. Those are mistakes the Patriots will never let you get away with.
Defense (C): The Giants forced some turnovers and three-and-outs but allowed too many big plays. It wasn’t a bad effort, but it was an afternoon of missed opportunities.
Special Teams/Coaching (C-): A long Danny Amendola punt return allowed the Patriots to stay in the game when the Giants appeared to be gaining control. When you add up all the miscues, missed opportunities and strange sequences like that backward third-quarter drive, the Giants looked like a team determined to play just well enough to lose on the final drive.
Looking Ahead: A bye week to figure out just how a 5-5 team ends up in first place in a once-proud division.
New York Jets: C-
16 of 29
This Week’s Result: Bills 22, Jets 17
Offense (C-): Ryan Fitzpatrick either throws deep in the general direction of tightly covered receivers or chucks a receiver screen behind the line of scrimmage. Sometimes, the deep ball finds his target or Brandon Marshall weaves through traffic for a big play. Most of the time, the Jets punt or fail on fourth down, but Fitzpatrick looks extra gritty and plucky in the process.
Defense (C+): Darrelle Revis took away all the deep stuff but allowed a little too much short stuff. The pass rush hounded Tyrod Taylor all night but overcommitted too often, allowing LeSean McCoy to gouge them up the middle.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): Todd Bowles clearly didn’t trust Randy Bullock to make routine field goals. The Jets kept going for fourth downs: not a terrible strategy until your best 4th-and-2 play call is a Marshall screen that the whole stadium sees coming. Devin Smith’s kick-return fumble in the second quarter swung the game Buffalo’s way.
Looking Ahead: A Fitzpatrick revenge game against the Texans, assuming he's healthy enough. Though, really, Fitzpatrick doesn’t have revenge games. He has “thanks for inexplicably handing me another starting job” games.
Oakland Raiders: C-
17 of 29
This Week’s Result: Vikings 30, Raiders 14
Offense (C): Derek Carr threw one interception early in the game and a second one in the end zone late in the game. In between, he did a fine job taking what the Vikings gave him, finishing with 302 passing yards and two touchdowns. Ten different targets caught passes. The Raiders were indifferent about running the ball early and were forced to abandon the run late.
Defense (D): Jack Del Rio is still trying new combinations and rotations of players. Sometimes the Raiders just don’t have 11 good NFL defenders on the field. You can see several examples by watching Adrian Peterson’s highlight reel: defenders failing to fill gaps, looking fatigued, diving at Peterson’s feet and looking reluctant to be the guy who absorbs the blow.
Special Teams/Coaching (C-): The Raiders blocked a field goal but gave up a kickoff-return touchdown that appeared to suck the life out of them. The offensive game plan became too unbalanced too soon, allowing the Vikings to tee off as pass-rushers and forcing Carr into too many 3rd-and-long situations.
Looking Ahead: Another NFC North challenge. Everyone in Detroit is playing for his job.
Tennessee Titans: C-
18 of 29
This Week’s Result: Panthers 27, Titans 10
Offense (D+): There are two kinds of Titans offensive performances. Either Marcus Mariota throws four touchdowns against a bad defense or Mariota has an impressive opening drive or two, then starts to fade when his running game abandons him and the opponent mounts a lead. This was the latter type of game.
The Titans got 25 of their 64 rushing yards on one Dexter McCluster touchdown and 24 more from Mariota. When Antonio Andrews or Bishop Sankey took a handoff, the Titans were just setting up 2nd-and-11.
Defense (C): The Titans had their moments, including one sequence where Cam Newton was sacked on three straight plays. But no one could cover Greg Olsen, and the offense could not capitalize even after the defense recorded a stop.
Special Teams/Coaching (C): Not much to report here. The Titans showed up with an interim coach and vanilla game plans and spent 60 minutes proving they were the inferior team.
Looking Ahead: Maybe Mariota will liven up Thursday night with one of his four-touchdown specials against the Jaguars.
Seattle Seahawks: C-
19 of 29
This Week’s Result: Cardinals 39, Seahawks 32
Offense (D+): Sack. Scramble. Incompletion. Handoff. Scramble. Fumble. Safety. Handoff. Scramble. Incompletion. Incompletion. Three-yard touchdown drive after turnover. Scramble. Incompletion after scramble. Random long completion after scramble. Handoff. Incompletion. Interception. Game over.
Defense (C+): Some insanely huge plays surrounded by too much inconsistency that made life easy for the opponent. Oh no, the defense is starting to imitate the offense.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): Fourteen penalties. One third-down conversion in eight attempts. The same tired strategies that have failed against every good opponent the Seahawks faced this year. The bye week would have been a good time for Pete Carroll and his staff to make some adjustments. It’s rapidly becoming too late.
Looking Ahead: 49ers at Seahawks. A rematch that used to really matter.
Cincinnati Bengals: C-
20 of 29
This Week’s Result: Texans 10, Bengals 6
Offense (D): Andy Dalton’s weakness as a deep passer reared its head again as the Texans took away the Bengals running game and kept them pinned in their own territory. Dalton threw an interception on one deep throw but was so off-target on most others that defenders never had a chance. Tyler Eifert made matters worse by dropping several catchable passes. Only Giovani Bernard (79 scrimmage yards) had a respectable game.
Defense (B+): The Bengals overreacted when T.J. Yates replaced injured Brian Hoyer. Instead of shutting down the run and letting Yates be Yates, they sold out on blitzes that created easy matchups downfield and set up DeAndre Hopkins’ go-ahead touchdown. It was a dominant performance for most of the game.
Special Teams/Coaching (C): Coordinator Paul Guenther bears the blame for those ill-timed blitzes. Penalties forced the Bengals to start too many drives on 1st-and-15.
Here’s a riddle to ponder: Why do the Bengals always flash that “three lineman” play exactly once in the first quarter, then tuck it away until next week? A tricky formation that got some Texans defenders out of the box would probably have helped the Bengals move the ball more effectively, but the wrinkle got its customary one use on the opening drive.
Looking Ahead: A Sunday night showdown with the Cardinals. The Bengals had better hope they got the offensive ugliness out of their system.
Green Bay Packers: D+
21 of 29
This Week’s Result: Lions 18, Packers 16
Offense (D): The only Packers receiver who can get any separation off the line of scrimmage is Randall Cobb. Davante Adams is just good enough to outleap a defender and almost catch a deep sideline pass. James Starks is a plodder who gains about three more inches than the defense gives him.
The Packers have resorted to tactics they abandoned long ago to compensate for their lack of firepower, like full-house backfields and Cobb as a third-down back. Aaron Rodgers would have trouble moving the ball if he was playing the best football of his career. Aaron Rodgers is not playing the best football of his career.
Defense (B+): The only real Lions scoring drive occurred late in the fourth quarter. Try not to think about all that “ball tackling” on Golden Tate’s fourth-quarter reception.
Special Teams/Coaching (D-): Ameer Abdullah set up a touchdown with a 104-yard kickoff return. A botched Tim Masthay hold kept Mason Crosby from kicking a game-winning field goal. The Packers are fooling themselves with this skill-position corps. Either they find another running back or receiver who can make a play for Rodgers or they must resign themselves to more 16-point afternoons.
Looking Ahead: The Vikings are the wrong team to face with no running game and bad return units.
Philadelphia Eagles: D+
22 of 29
This Week’s Result: Dolphins 20, Eagles 19
Offense (D+): After a promising start, the Eagles kept driving about 30 yards downfield before stepping on a rake and thwacking themselves on the head. A mind-boggling array of missed field goals, blocked punts, errant snaps and red-zone miscues negated 29 first downs and 436 total yards.
Mark Sanchez relieved injured Sam Bradford in a very Sanchez way: completing just enough passes to make you remember when everyone thought he was good, then mixing interceptions, sloppy handoffs and throws that arrived two seconds before the receiver was ready.
Defense (B): An early safety appeared to put the Dolphins on the ropes. But it was the kind of afternoon when a pass would bounce off a blitzing defender’s helmet and land in a receiver’s arms for a touchdown. All the Dolphins needed was a handful of lapses and fluke plays.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): Caleb Sturgis missed a field goal. The Eagles appeared to be slumbering on Zach Vigil’s blocked punt: The Dolphins overloaded one side, but there was no blocking adjustment. Sanchez was clearly uncomfortable with the read-option mesh to DeMarco Murray, but Chip Kelly refused to switch to an under-center formation. The Eagles looked like they were going to blow the Dolphins away early, but they lost because of sloppy, inattentive play.
Looking Ahead: The Buccaneers are itching to beat another sloppy, inattentive NFC East opponent.
Baltimore Ravens: D
23 of 29
This Week’s Result: Jaguars 22, Ravens 20
Offense (C-): You can look at the glass half full and say Joe Flacco connected with 10 different targets, most of them terrible, and put the Ravens in position to win the game at the end. You can look at the glass half empty and say the Ravens committed three offensive turnovers and executed an incoherent game plan against a terrible defense. Or you can just shrug your shoulders, recognize there are only so many passes to Kamar Aiken and Kyle Juszczyk a sane person can stomach during Monday morning tape study, and move on.
Defense (C): The Jaguars got 10 points off an interception and a muffed punt. They won the game on a play which, like the muffed punt, goes in the next category.
Special Teams/Coaching (D-): Jeremy Ross muffed a punt, as you may have gathered from the previous paragraph. The offensive game plan was completely unbalanced, forcing Flacco to rely on his depleted receiving corps.
The Ravens committed nine penalties for 121 yards. The end-of-game chaos which led to Elvis Dumervil’s facemask penalty against Blake Bortles (and the Jaguars’ chance to win the game with 0:00 on the clock) was inexcusable for a team and coaching staff with so much big-game experience.
Looking Ahead: Rams at Ravens. Sometimes watching football really is a job.
Dallas Cowboys: D
24 of 29
This Week’s Result: Buccaneers 10, Cowboys 6
Offense (D-): Have you wondered how the last seven games would have turned out if the Cowboys had a vibrant wide receiver screen game, maybe with a little read-option wrinkle? Or the ability to shift into an uptempo attack? Or maybe if they deployed six linemen, three tight ends or a full-house backfield and played stump-grinder football more often? Or if the Cowboys did anything except run off tackle, throw Pythagorean theorem diagonal passes to the flats, and wait for Tony Romo to ride into the stadium on a white steed?
We’ll never know now that Romo is mounting up. Sunday’s game was particularly galling because Jason Witten (5-42-0), Gavin Escobar and Cole Beasley (one catch each) should have been open over the short middle on every play against the Bucs defense. Yet the Cowboys insisted on trying to feature Darren McFadden (1.9 yards per rush) and Dez Bryant (5-45-0 on 12 targets).
Defense (B-): The point total is deceptive. The Buccaneers missed a makable field goal, and Jameis Winston threw two silly interceptions to Jeff Heath to kill productive drives. The Cowboys looked worn down late in the game, and this time they didn’t have Chip Kelly’s no-huddle offense as an excuse. Still, this loss cannot be laid at the defense’s feet.
Special Teams/Coaching (F): It can be laid at the coaching staff’s feet. This seven-game losing streak has been an indictment of poor planning and terrible leadership by the Cowboys organization.
Looking Ahead: Romo’s anticipated return against the Dolphins. It’s like Dad showing up to your piano recital after you already had an anxiety attack at the sight of his empty folding chair and butchered Fur Elise.
Cleveland Browns: D
25 of 29
This Week’s Result: Steelers 30, Browns 9
Offense (C): Johnny Manziel performed better than the final score and the whoopsie fumble on the highlight reel would suggest. Manziel kept his eyes downfield and completed some sharp passes on the run; a late red-zone interception only occurred after several big plays were negated by penalties.
The Browns running game (negative-two yards, not counting Manziel’s runs) did more harm than good. Andrew Hawkins fumbled near the Browns goal line. But Manziel is the one whose development, maturity, height and so on will be scrutinized.
Defense (F): This was a hard grade to assign. Technically, the Browns did a fine job stopping everything but 60-yard touchdown passes. But if you can’t stop a 60-yard touchdown pass, why would the opponent bother trying to do anything else? Joe Haden is having a miserable year, Pierre Desir is overmatched as a regular contributor at cornerback, and the Browns pass rush isn’t doing much to help them.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Browns committed 12 penalties. From a defensive game-planning standpoint, maybe you send eight blitzers when the opponent is one hit on its injured, immobilized quarterback from dusting off a 1920s playbook, or maybe you drop your safeties deep so he doesn’t roast your cornerbacks. But you don’t just let him stand there and roast your cornerbacks.
Looking Ahead: Bye week. Manziel paparazzi, turn in your overtime requests by Thursday.
St. Louis Rams: D
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This Week’s Result: Bears 37, Rams 13
Offense (D-): Like three hours and 14 minutes waiting on hold for tech support and listening to a warped synthesizer version of Mozart’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik on continuous loop. Yes, that’s a very specific kind of torture, but the Rams offense is a very specific kind of awful. Nick Foles is immobile, unathletic and inaccurate, but he makes up for it by making awful decisions.
Defense (C): The Bears hit upon the idea of letting the Rams front four penetrate and then counterpunching with delays, draws, screens and hot routes that took advantage of the overaggressive Rams secondary. It worked. Jeff Fisher really needs to explain how backup tight end Zach Miller can outrun his entire defense.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): YOU CAN’T RUN A FAKE PUNT EVERY OTHER WEEK. YOU CAN’T REPLACE YOUR ENTIRE SHORT-PASSING GAME WITH END-AROUNDS. AS BAD AS FOLES HAS BEEN, CASE KEENUM IS NOT AN UPGRADE.
Looking Ahead: Rams at Ravens. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line.
Denver Broncos: D-
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This Week’s Result: Chiefs 29, Broncos 13
Offense (F): It was like staring at the Y.A.Tittle “Fallen Giant” photograph for three hours and 22 minutes.
Defense (B-): The absence of DeMarcus Ware and Aqib Talib clearly hurt: Alex Smith would not have scrambled out of danger so often with Ware chasing him, and Talib would have taken away most of the Chiefs’ wisp of a downfield game. Overall, however, there’s not much a defense can do when the opposing offense can win by converting interceptions directly into field goals.
Special Teams/Coaching (F): Even Peyton Manning’s few completions looked like they were thrown by a junior high flag football quarterback in the rain. There is no way Manning even threw the ball well in warm-ups during the week, yet Gary Kubiak indulged in some magical thinking and threw him on the field to run something close to a typical pass-heavy game plan.
Kubiak could have inserted Manning to throw screens until he broke the all-time yardage record, then said, “I don’t care who you are. You are obviously too injured to contribute, and I am sitting you so there’s a chance you will be healthy to face the Patriots in two weeks.” And don’t think Kubiak couldn’t possibly bench Manning before the game; it’s a lot easier than doing it during the game.
Looking Ahead: How will Brock Osweiler fare against the Bears? The suspense is…kinda depressing.
New Orleans Saints: F
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This Week’s Result: Redskins 47, Saints 14
Offense (C): The Saints were unstoppable early, then got weirder and sloppier as the game got out of hand.
Defense (F): If Rob Ryan is still employed by the time you read this, it means the whole concept of meritocracy is dead in the American free market. (Update: Ryan is officially out after a Monday of wiffle-waffling. The republic has been spared.)
Special Teams/Coaching (F): Sean Payton didn’t know it was fourth down late in the game, forcing Drew Brees to go for it from his own 22-yard line. Payton also ordered a fourth-down conversion in the third quarter with Mark Ingram on the bench with a mystery ailment (Jairus Byrd Disease is contagious! Quarantine the Saints!). Noted short-yardage specialists C.J. Spiller and Tim Hightower failed to gain the necessary yard. You know what? Maybe Rob Ryan wasn’t the only problem.
Looking Ahead: Sweet, merciful bye week.
Year-to-Date GPAs
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Here are the year-to-date GPAs for all 32 teams. They are based on the grades for all 10 NFL weeks, with early weeks weighted somewhat so they don't have as much impact as recent weeks.
You know how it works: 4.0 is an A, 3.0 is a B, and a team with lots of A's in its past can absorb a loss and still be near the top of the rankings. (Hello, Bengals!)
1. New England Patriots: 3.78
2. Cincinnati Bengals: 3.51
3. Carolina Panthers: 3.20
4. Arizona Cardinals: 3.04
5. Green Bay Packers: 2.97
6. Minnesota Vikings: 2.90
7. Denver Broncos: 2.86
8. Atlanta Falcons: 2.74
9. Pittsburgh Steelers: 2.52
10. Oakland Raiders: 2.52
11. New York Giants: 2.49
12. Kansas City Chiefs: 2.45
13. New York Jets: 2.43
14. Seattle Seahawks: 2.29
15. Chicago Bears: 2.29
16. Washington Redskins: 2.28
17. New Orleans Saints: 2.19
18. St. Louis Rams: 2.19
19. Buffalo Bills: 2.17
20. Philadelphia Eagles: 2.10
21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 2.04
22. Miami Dolphins: 1.99
23. Cleveland Browns: 1.93
24. Baltimore Ravens: 1.89
25. San Diego Chargers: 1.85
26. Houston Texans: 1.75
27. Tennessee Titans: 1.75
28. Indianapolis Colts: 1.74
29. San Francisco 49ers: 1.74
30. Detroit Lions: 1.73
31. Dallas Cowboys: 1.57
32. Jacksonville Jaguars: 1.50
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