Brian Scalabrine needs his own television show.
How did he get it? If you believe the current scuttlebutt, dental surgery is the cause:
Personally, I don't believe back-fence talk.
There's no way the invincible Scalabrine falls victim to dental surgery, hence the need for the White Mamba to hit reality television. That way, we would not only know how he gets his black eyes, but we'd be witness to everything else that ever happens to him.
Was his latest boo-boo your normal, garden-variety injury from your average dental procedure?
Or was it collateral damage from a night on the town with Stephen Jackson? Or the end result of Leighton Meester taking her musical ties to Cobra Starship too far and making "Good Girls Go Bad" at Scal's expense?
No, no and I hope not.
This facial gash is a badge of courage, presumably obtained while Scalabrine was fighting crime, protecting a bus full of children from a rabid grizzly bear or saving the world from Miley Cyrus' reign of terrible music.
And that's only if his injury occurred over the weekend. If it happened during the work week, forget it. Any number of heroic events could have transpired.
He is: Brian Scalabrine.